A Little Life Summary

A Little Life follows its protagonist Jude and his close friends Willem, JB, and Malcolm over many years after they move to New York in search of fame, fortune, success, and meaning. The novel begins when Jude and Willem move into a small, rundown apartment on Lispenard Street. Willem is an aspiring actor who has yet to receive any major roles; in the meantime, he waits tables. He’s tormented by an unhappy childhood spent caring for his older brother, Hemming, who had cerebral palsy and died of cancer when Willem was in college. To this day, Willem feels guilty about his failure to save Hemming.

Jude, meanwhile, is a brilliant young lawyer. Jude’s past is as mysterious to his friends as it is to the reader; Jude is orphaned and suffers from chronic pain in his legs and back, but it’s unknown how Jude injured his legs and back or what happened to him in his childhood. Willem loves Jude but also worries about him and feels pressure to be his protector. JB and Malcolm, by contrast, have had much more support—though they’re not happy. Malcolm comes from a wealthy family, but he’s ashamed to admit that, at 27, he still lives at home. JB, an artist, is frustrated that the art world has yet to recognize his talent. He has recently been working on a series of paintings based on photos he’s taken of Willem, Jude, and Malcolm.

That winter, JB decides that Willem and Jude should host a New Year’s Eve party. The night before the party, Jude wakes Willem and asks if Willem will take him to see Andy, Jude’s longtime doctor: he accidentally cut himself. Andy tends to Jude’s injury and explains to Willem that Jude purposefully cuts himself. Jude apologizes profusely to Willem but refuses to talk about his self-harm. At the party, Willem, Jude, JB, and Malcolm go to the roof and lock themselves out. Jude insists that the others lower him off the roof’s ledge so he can fall to the fire escape and reenter the apartment through the bedroom window. Willem follows Jude in leaping off the ledge of the building. It’s terrifying, but they both make it.

Several years pass; Jude is now nearing 30. He and Willem still live at Lispenard Street. By now, Willem is getting enough work to support himself as an actor. During one of his weekly walks, Jude meditates on his past, and the narrative segues into a series of flashbacks from Jude’s earlier years. Jude reflects on Ana, a social worker who helped him recover after a Dr. Traylor caused his injuries. Ana’s the only person Jude has opened up to about his past, though she died of cancer the summer before Jude left for college.

Jude attended college and then law school in Cambridge. At Cambridge, he became close with one of his professors, Harold Stein. Harold was kind and generous with Jude: he bought Jude suits for work, and he and his wife Julia often had Jude over for dinner. But Harold also asked a lot of prying questions about Jude’s past. Jude wanted to become close to Harold but struggled to open up. He also worried (and still worries) that Harold will abandon him once he grows tired of his evasiveness. But despite Jude’s fears, his and Harold’s relationship grows; Jude often returns to Harold and Julia’s house to celebrate Thanksgiving with them. Jude also reflects on the monastery in South Dakota, where he was raised by monks who physically, emotionally, and sexually abused him. One monk, Brother Luke, was kind to Jude. Brother Luke told Jude that he loved him and made plans for them to run away together—but when they did finally run away, Brother Luke forced Jude into sex work and then sexually assaulted Jude himself. This went on until Jude was 12, when the police located them and Brother Luke hanged himself.

Back in the novel’s present, a few weeks before Jude is supposed to join Harold for Thanksgiving, he receives a painting from JB—it’s an apology for showing a painting of Jude without asking Jude’s permission. The incident, which happened 18 months prior, caused a major rift between JB and Jude and Willem. Later, on Thanksgiving weekend, Harold and Julia tell Jude that they love him and would like to formally adopt him. Harold and his first wife, Liesl, had a young son, Jacob, who died of a rare neurodegenerative disorder when he was only five. In Jude, Harold sees a second chance to care for—and save—a son. Jude wants Harold and Julia to adopt him. Still, the traumatic experience of a prospective family backing out of adopting him when he was a child leaves Jude terrified that Harold will change his mind. In the months that follow, Jude’s anxieties cause his mental health to sharply decline. Nevertheless, that February, the adoption goes through. Harold and Julia hold a party at their house, and all of Jude’s friends attend. Jude covertly slips a CD of himself singing (a skill he learned at the monastery) and a letter inside Harold’s bookcase.

More time passes. Willem has become a well-known movie star. He’s recently broken up with his girlfriend, Philippa, who was turned off by Willem and Jude’s “codependent” friendship. Willem and Jude have since moved into their own apartments, but Willem spends all his time at Jude’s Greene Street apartment. Jude, now 36, is paying Malcolm to renovate his new apartment. Jude is doing well financially since accepting a job at a prominent law firm. He made this decision after a major health scare made him realize that he will need a lot of money to afford adequate, dignified care as his condition worsens with age. JB, meanwhile, continues to alienate his friends due to developing a drug addiction. Things come to a head when Jude, Willem, and Malcolm hold an intervention for JB. JB, irritated and under the influence, mocks Jude’s limp. JB’s cruelty creates a rift in his friendship with Willem and Jude that never quite heals.

These days, Willem is always away shooting a new film, and Jude is increasingly lonely. Jude starts dating a man named Caleb, who is emotionally and physically abusive. But Jude thinks that someone as “deformed” as himself doesn’t deserve anyone better. He continues to see Caleb, even as Caleb beats Jude and berates him for occasionally needing a wheelchair. One night, Caleb sneaks into Jude’s apartment and brutally beats him. When Harold comes by the next day, he realizes the truth about Jude’s injuries (Jude has been lying to Harold and Andy that his recent bruises are from playing tennis) and rushes him to Andy’s office.

When Willem returns from a movie shoot, Jude lies to him about his injuries. Andy pressures Jude to talk to Dr. Loehmann, a psychiatrist. But Jude doesn’t see Loehmann, and his mental health deteriorates following his break with Caleb. Unwanted memories of his traumatic childhood overwhelm Jude, and he eventually attempts suicide. Jude’s friend Richard finds Jude in time to save him, and Jude is hospitalized. Upon Jude’s release, Willem moves into Greene Street full-time to look out for Jude.

A year passes, and Jude and Willem are still living together. Willem realizes that he has feelings for Jude, and they begin a romantic relationship. Things are complicated, though, because Jude’s childhood sexual abuse (which he hasn’t told Willem about yet) makes it impossible for him to enjoy sex, and Jude is constantly afraid that he’ll disappoint Willem. With Jude’s blessing, Willem eventually starts to have sexual relationships with women outside of their relationship. For a while, Jude has sex with Willem, fearing that Willem will leave him otherwise. But when they get into a huge fight over Jude’s continued cutting and secrecy, Jude finally comes clean about some of his childhood sexual abuse, and Willem realizes that he can’t subject Jude to sex anymore. They remain together and grow closer as Jude continues to open up to Willem, but they are never sexually intimate again. Jude also finally tells Willem about the accident that caused his back and leg injuries, which occurred Brother Luke’s death. After the police rescued him, Jude went to live at a boys’ home. But the counselors there physically and sexually abused him, and Jude eventually ran away. He hitched rides with truck drivers and was ultimately abducted and held captive by a sadistic psychiatrist, Dr. Traylor, who sexually assaulted him. Eventually, Dr. Traylor ran Jude over with his car.

Back in the present, Jude suffers a series of serious infections. When he’s 46, he agrees to have his legs amputated. His recovery is difficult, but his pain gradually lessens. Willem’s career continues to flourish. He and Jude hire Malcolm to design a house for them upstate that they call Lantern House. Two years after Jude’s amputation, he and Willem spend Labor Day weekend at Lantern House. But as Willem drives to the house with Malcolm and his wife Sophie, all three are killed when a drunk driver hits their car.

Jude grieves horribly for Willem. After ignoring JB for many months, Jude attends JB’s retrospective. There, JB shows Jude a hyper-realistic painting of Willem (Willem Listening to Jude Tell a Story, Greene Street), and Jude breaks down. But JB tries to kiss Jude, and after this, Jude and JB don’t see each other again. Jude finds life increasingly unbearable and stops eating, so his friends hold an intervention and have him committed. He is released on the condition that he starts to see Dr. Loehmann. Jude agrees, but he doesn’t take therapy seriously and he resents his friends for keeping him alive when he’d rather die. Things come to a head one night when Harold calls Jude “sweetheart,” a name that only Brother Luke used. Jude breaks down and cries in Harold’s arms. Afterward, Jude starts to think he might be capable of healing and redemption. He speaks to Dr. Loehmann about his past and declares that he’s “decided to stay.”

But in the novel’s closing chapter, which Harold narrates, Harold reveals that Jude dies by suicide only three years after Willem’s death. After Jude’s death, Harold finally finds the CD and letter Jude hid in his bookcase. In the letter, Jude describes his traumatic past and apologizes to Harold for “deceiv[ing]” him. Harold is relieved to finally answer the many questions he had, but it crushes him to realize that Jude died not knowing how loved and blameless he was. In the novel’s final scene, Harold recalls walking past Lispenard Street with Jude after Willem’s death and listening to Jude tell him the story of jumping off the roof at the New Year’s Eve party all those years before.