All the Bright Places: 46. Violet: March 18 Summary & Analysis

Violet doesn’t hear from Finch for three days. It starts snowing on Wednesday, and the roads are so slick that she falls off Leroy multiple times. When she gets home, she asks Violet’s mom if she can borrow the car to visit a friend across town. Violet’s mom stares but hands over the keys. Violet heads for the car and looks back. Her mom is crying. She explains that she’s just happy—she and Violet’s dad weren’t sure Violet would ever drive again. Violet hugs her mom and then pulls out of the drive. She’s shaky at first, but then she remembers Eleanor saying after Violet got her license that Violet could drive her around. She can almost see Eleanor in the passenger seat.

Violet is driving smoothly when she gets to Finch’s neighborhood. A woman who must be Finch’s mom opens the door, invites Violet in, and gets her water. She says that Finch should be home from school by now, and Violet realizes that she has no idea Finch was expelled. Kate comes into the kitchen to chat with her mom and Violet and then sends Violet up to Finch’s room. Finch opens his door in pajama bottoms and glasses. He smiles and lets Violet into his room, which is totally bare aside from the unmade bed and two boxes. He explains that he’s cleaning up.

Violet asks Finch if he’s okay, trying to watch her tone—she doesn’t want to sound like a needy girlfriend. Finch says he was feeling under the weather, but he’s better now. Then he invites Violet to see his fort, which is in his closet. He leads Violet inside. Finch has guitar, computer, a license plate, and his comforter. Violet sits next to Finch and takes in a small Wall of Ideas. Finch explains that he thinks better in here, where it’s quiet. He’s putting positive words or phrases on his wall, while anything negative goes in a pile. He tells Violet about an Irish girl who fell in love with a boy. Other girls called her names until she hanged herself.

Violet and Finch write words on sticky notes and then either put them on the wall or throw them in the pile. Then, Finch shows Violet how he rearranges the words on the wall to make a song. After playing their song and explaining that he never writes his songs down, he writes that he’d like to have sex with Violet. They do have sex, and everything feels okay again. But afterwards, Violet notices Finch staring off—and when he looks at her, he doesn’t seem to be totally there. He asks her not to tell anyone about his fort, and Violet agrees. She scoots closer to Finch, feeling oddly like he might escape.

Finch explains that he gets in “black, sinking moods” sometimes. Violet says that’s normal for teenagers, but Finch ignores this and tells Violet about the cardinal. It kept flying into the window, and he begged his parents to bring it inside so that it would stop hurting itself. Finally, the cardinal died, and they buried it. Finch says that this was when he had his first “black mood”; he doesn’t remember anything for a little while after the cardinal died. Worried, Violet asks if Finch has spoken to anyone. She looks around, notices the pillows and water jug, and asks if Finch is living in the closet. Finch just says that he’s been here before—eventually, it works, and he comes out.

As soon as Violet gets home, she goes into her own closet and sits down among her clothes and shoes. She imagines what it’d be like to live in there. When she steps back out, she feels like she can breathe again. At dinner, Violet and her parents toast to Violet driving again. Violet feels horribly guilty for lying to them.