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Summary
Themes
Key
LitCharts assigns a color and icon to each theme in ‘And Women Must Weep’, which you can use to track the themes throughout the work.
Growing Up
Social Pressures vs. Internal Desires
Women, Beauty Standards, and Patriarchy
Summary
Analysis
Dolly has finally finished getting dressed and waits for Auntie Cha to be ready for the evening. Although Miss Biddons tells her to sit still, Dolly doesn’t want to crush her light, flouncy muslin dress. She stands and admires her appearance, thinking she almost doesn’t recognize herself because her pale blue dress makes her look tall and out of the ordinary. Dolly marvels at how pretty she looks. Auntie Cha and Miss Biddons also approve of Dolly’s appearance. Dolly feels grateful that she has beautiful natural features and her Auntie Cha to make sure she looks just right.
Dolly’s childlike wonder at her appearance establishes her youth and inexperience. Dressing up is new and exciting to her. She’s never worn such a beautiful dress or looked so pretty before. Dolly’s dress is an external sign of her internal naivety. Its pale color and airy softness symbolize Dolly’s innocence as a young adolescent girl. Dolly also shows her childishness through her impatience and stubbornness when she ignores Miss Biddons’s instruction to sit still. Delighted with how she looks, Dolly cares about maintaining her perfect appearance. Beauty is crucial—not just to Dolly, but also to Auntie Cha and Miss Biddons. The older women who take care of Dolly are also concerned with making sure her appearance is satisfactory, demonstrating the social significance of girls’ and women’s physical beauty.
Themes
Dolly waits for the cab, self-consciously trying to keep her dress and white gloves pristine. She is filled with anticipation, because Auntie Cha is about to take her to her first “grown-up” ball. Before they leave, Miss Biddons reminds Dolly to remember her steps for the waltz. Once Dolly and Auntie Cha are on their way to the ball, Auntie Cha reprimands Dolly for looking too serious, saying she’ll scare away young men. But Dolly is concerned about crumpling her dress in the narrow seats of the cab.
To Dolly, the ball is not just a one-time special event; it also represents her entry into adulthood. As a result, she’s full of hopeful anticipation of what the ball and womanhood will be like, but she’s also nervous. She doesn’t want to make mistakes, which is reflected in her desire to keep her dress and gloves perfectly intact. Miss Biddons and Auntie Cha want Dolly’s introduction to adult society to be successful too. They teach her how she’s supposed to act and correct her when she strays from socially acceptable behavior. Dolly learns social expectations from Miss Biddons and Auntie Cha. Most importantly, she learns from her aunt that, according to society’s expectations, her primary role is to attract young men, which is why she must look pretty and approachable.
Themes
Dolly and Auntie Cha arrive at the public hall where the ball is taking place. When Dolly steps out of the wagonette, she accidentally rips a ribbon off the bottom edge of her dress. Auntie Cha calls Dolly clumsy, and Dolly is dismayed. The dress can’t be mended, so Dolly enters the dance hall in her torn dress. She feels as if everyone is staring at it. Auntie Cha picks a seat in the front row by her friend, but Dolly timidly sits behind her and examines the other attendees of the ball. Other women’s dresses seem more beautiful than her own dress, and Dolly suddenly regrets her choice to wear plain muslin instead of silk.
That Dolly’s dress tears suggests that the dress is too delicate to last through the evening in perfect condition. As a symbol of Dolly’s naïve expectations for the ball and growing up, the now-damaged dress implies that Dolly’s childish naivety is similarly fragile and will not hold up against the harsher realities of adult society. Dolly’s enthusiasm is in fact punctured, in the same way that her dress is torn. As she enters the dance hall, Dolly loses confidence. She measures herself against other women at the ball based on the beauty of their dresses and doubts her own prettiness in comparison to them. Now that she’s in the grown-up world, she worries how other people will perceive her and wishes she could hide from their judgement. Dolly’s concern over her looks isn’t just childish self-consciousness. Auntie Cha’s scolding underscores the real importance of appearances in society, especially for young women. Dolly faces strong external pressures to present herself properly. A young women’s social value depends on whether or not she has physical beauty and an attractive demeanor.
Themes
Auntie Cha chastises Dolly for hiding; she makes Dolly sit in the front row and hold out her program to show she wants to dance. But no one invites Dolly to dance, and Auntie Cha asks the Master of Ceremonies to help find her a partner. When no one seems available, the Master of Ceremonies dances with Dolly himself, but she’s embarrassed that everyone will know nobody else offered to dance with her. She’s relieved when the dance is over.
Auntie Cha enforces social expectations on Dolly by teaching her what she’s supposed to do at the ball. Dolly’s program symbolizes these social expectations. As a young woman, Dolly is supposed to put herself on display for men just as she displays her program to potential dance partners. Dolly and all the other women at the ball must passively wait until they’re asked to dance by men. Women don’t have the agency to decide their own partners, and they must politely agree to dance with whichever partner selects them. Not being selected is an embarrassment. Even though Dolly obeys Auntie Cha’s directions and presents herself as an available dance partner, no one chooses her to dance. Dolly’s earlier hopes for the exciting prospects of the ball don’t match her current humiliating reality. Her dance with the Master of Ceremonies only draws more attention to the fact that Dolly hasn’t been deemed a desirable partner. Her first experience of being grown-up is disappointing.
Themes
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Auntie Cha arranges for her lady-friend’s son to dance with Dolly, but he’s reluctant, impolite, and focused on his fiancée. Dolly doesn’t want to dance with him if the offer is only out of pity, but she pretends to be glad because she knows that’s how she should act. Then Dolly dances with a gentleman who had been watching the ball without joining in himself. He speaks rudely, dances poorly, and steps on her feet during the waltz. Flustered and embarrassed, Dolly also missteps and apologizes.
Auntie Cha continues to try to ensure Dolly adheres to social expectations by arranging two more dances for her. Dolly dances with both partners even though they’re plainly uninterested in her and she also has no desire to dance with them. Social pressures dictate that Dolly should be gracious and eager, so she pretends to be glad regardless of how she really feels. Notably, Dolly’s dance partners are not gracious and pleasant to her. Both men treat her rudely, and they’re not concerned about whether their actions might offend Dolly. Dolly apologizes to the gentleman for making a mistake during the waltz, but he doesn’t apologize for stepping on her feet, nor does Auntie Cha’s lady-friend’s son apologize for his impoliteness. The men aren’t subject to the same social pressures as women are to look and act perfectly at all times, nor do they face negative repercussions for imperfect behavior. Women and men are held to different standards, and social expectations for women are much stricter and more demanding.
Themes
Dolly sits out of the dancing again, her face red from embarrassment, and worries her last partner is spreading the rumor that she can’t dance. Auntie Cha exasperatedly instructs Dolly to look agreeable, so Dolly puts on a smile. She feels her smile is a desperate call for attention, but young men repeatedly overlook her and choose other girls for their dance partners instead. Dolly loses hope that she will be selected, and her dress starts to get crushed from clutching her hands in her lap.
Dolly’s ongoing embarrassment and self-consciousness show that she’s aware of the high standards to which society holds her and that her struggles to meet them have been unsuccessful. Although she’s upset, Dolly is not allowed to express her true feelings, an idea that Auntie Cha reinforces when she tells Dolly to look more agreeable. It’s Dolly’s responsibility to appear cheerful and wear a fake smile; otherwise, according to societal expectations, it would be her fault that no one chooses her. Dolly’s increasing disappointment is mirrored in the deterioration of her dress. Once light and flouncy, her dress is now flattened and wrinkled. In the same way, Dolly’s naivety about growing up used to be bright and optimistic, but now it’s subdued and less hopeful, having been refuted by her unhappy experience of the ball so far.
Themes
As the evening wears on, Dolly sits in the front row, feigning enjoyment. She studies her empty program until shame drives her to let it slip onto the floor. Dolly resents the young men for freely choosing some girls to dance and neglecting others. She thinks the situation is unfair. When ladies have the rare opportunity to invite gentlemen to dance, Dolly refuses to ask anybody, because nobody wants her. She claims to have a headache and wishes she were an old woman so that it might be socially acceptable for her not to dance. She wishes she were at home or even dead.
Despite her misery, Dolly still yearns to be successful at her first ball, so she continues to try to conform to social expectations. So, she pretends to enjoy herself. However, Dolly’s empty program is physical evidence of her inability to attract gentlemen. Ashamed, Dolly lets her program fall away, as if to distance herself from the proof of her inadequacy. Symbolically, this action represents Dolly’s recognition not only that she has failed but also that she won’t be able to succeed no matter how hard she tries. Her relinquishment of the social pressure to attract gentlemen—symbolized by her now-discarded program—motivates Dolly’s refusal to ask anyone to dance when she gets the chance. Dolly has realized that the format of the ball is unjust. Men hold all the power, since they’re free to choose the women they like and disregard the rest. Meanwhile, women have little power or agency, and they’re made to feel worthless if they’re not chosen. When Dolly wishes to be old, at home, or dead, she conveys her desire to escape the unfair social system she has discovered. Although she used to look forward to attending the ball and becoming a woman, now she regrets that she has reached her current circumstances.
Themes
As the ball attendees have supper, Dolly tries to eat a sandwich, but her throat is too dry. Dolly dances again with Auntie Cha’s lady-friend’s son, but she is so unhappy that her legs feel heavy and she makes poor conversation. She worries she will seem unintelligent. Next, Dolly dances with a young boy, but he stares unabashedly at a different girl, the “belle of the ball,” the entire time. He is a bad dancer, his hands are sticky, and Dolly is upset to be partnered with a little boy.
Dolly faces more social pressures as the ball goes on. She is supposed to eat elegantly, dance well, and make good conversation, but she fails at these expectations too. She is still unable to fulfill her main role, which is to attract gentlemen. The lady-friend’s son only dances with her again out of pity or obligation, and the little boy is too young to be considered a proper partner for her. Dolly faults herself for her failures, showing how heavily her inability to live up to social expectations weighs on her. While Dolly suffers great shame, the young boy is unconcerned about his childishly ill-mannered behavior, and he doesn’t seem to care what other people think of him. This discrepancy between Dolly and the young boy showcases the gendered double standard that exists in their patriarchal society. Girls and women must feel like failures for their social blunders, while boys and men can break social rules without consequence.
Themes
Knowing that the evening has been unsuccessful, Dolly and Auntie Cha leave the ball early and return home. Auntie Cha doesn’t speak to Dolly in the wagonette, and Dolly tries not to cry. At home, Miss Biddons rushes to meet them and ask why they arrived so early. Wanting to be left alone, Dolly locks herself in her room and tears off her dress, which is now thoroughly crushed. She overhears Auntie Cha proclaim loudly that Dolly “didn’t take” at the ball.
Having to leave the ball early is the final humiliating sign of Dolly’s failure. Auntie Cha’s pointed silence conveys her disapproval of Dolly. Dolly has not only disappointed herself at the ball but also Auntie Cha and Miss Biddons, who have taught Dolly the importance of living up to societal standards in order to be successful as a young woman. When Dolly isolates herself, she attempts to separate herself from the dreadful grown-up society she has entered and the harsh pressures it enforces on her. However, she can’t escape society and its pressures, just as she can’t avoid hearing Auntie Cha announce her failure. Similarly, reversing her entry into adulthood is impossible. Now that Dolly has experienced what it is to be a young woman in society, she can’t return to an innocent girlhood. Her naivety is gone, as her wholly crushed dress symbolizes. When Dolly casts aside her ruined dress, she lets go of her former optimism about being grown-up.
Themes
Dolly reflects miserably that her failure to attract any gentlemen at her first ball is a terrible shame and social stigma she’ll carry for the rest of her life. However, Dolly also realizes she isn’t to blame. She tried her best to do as she’d been told by putting on the proper appearance and displaying herself with a pleasant smile. But she was only pretending, as she believed she had to do; she didn’t actually want any men to choose her. Instead of her, the young men at the ball chose other girls, whom Dolly thinks were not even pretty. Overcome with humiliation, Dolly lies in bed and cries.
Dolly understands that young women face social stigma for failing to attract gentlemen, and now she bears that burden of failure herself. But Dolly resists the pressure to blame herself. She has come to understand that society is unjust to women and that she shouldn’t have to struggle to meet impossible, harmful societal standards. She also understands herself better—she never wanted to be chosen by men at all. Before, external pressures were so strong that they prevented Dolly from knowing her own individual desires separate from society’s expectations for her. After her experience at the ball, however, Dolly now comprehends that her true internal desires conflict with the desires society pressures her to have. By confronting the dismaying reality of being a woman in a patriarchal society and gaining deeper self-understanding, Dolly undergoes a difficult transformation from naivety to disillusionment. In other words, she grows up. Her tears are the natural consequence of this painful process.
Themes
