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Chapter 12
Themes
Key
LitCharts assigns a color and icon to each theme in Beautiful Boy, which you can use to track the themes throughout the work.
Addiction, Ruin, and Redemption
Responsibility and Blame
Parenthood and Control
Support vs. Enabling
The Disease Model, Stigma, and Treatment
Summary
Analysis
David and Karen return to the hospital the next weekend. This week’s forum is on how addiction can affect families: family members of addicts often blame themselves and feel rage and worry. Because of the stigma surrounding addiction, they often don’t confide in friends or other family members.
The speaker at Ohlhoff explicitly notes how addiction can not only ruin the lives of addicts but can also have a profound impact on families. David has experienced this firsthand to a degree, and the level of havoc that Nic wreaks in their lives only escalates from here.
Themes
The speaker then holds up a mobile with paper doll figures. The addict (Nic) is in the center, surrounded by figures on the periphery, which represent Karen, Jasper, and Daisy. They are helpless, but tied to the whims of the addict. Another figure hangs between them: David, who is an “enabler,” trying to prop Nic up and make excuses for him—trying to protect the others from Nic while still making sure they are all connected. David is stunned by the accuracy of the model.
The forum also brings revelations about David’s relationship with Nic, and how that is harming the rest of his family more than it is helping Nic. As much as David tries to control Nic and keep him close, this dynamic only ends up hurting others. Instead, David understands that he needs to help Nic find support but not make excuses for his behavior or allow him to cause anguish for Jasper, Daisy, and Karen.
Themes
The speaker also emphasizes that addictions are not families’ faults, because many addicts have ideal childhoods. It is also important to know that families can’t control the addict, as much as they want to try and make better choices on behalf of the addict. The speaker says that people can become obsessed, losing their identities because nothing matters except for their addicted family member.
Here, the speaker addresses several fears and experiences of David’s, which helps assuage David’s worry that he is responsible for Nic’s addiction. Additionally, the speaker foreshadows the way in which, David, spurred by his desire to control Nic’s choices, will quickly become obsessed with and debilitatingly anxious over Nic’s situation.
Themes
David and Karen meet Nic for lunch, who seems a little better, but still somewhat dejected. Nic confesses to David that he has a difficult time with the second step of the 12 steps, which emphasizes that a higher power can restore one to sanity. The third step then says that one must turn one’s will to the care of “God as we understood him.” Nic says that he doesn’t believe in God. David points out that there is room in those descriptions—that he may not believe in God, but he does believe in a conscience telling him what the right thing to do is. Nic is unimpressed.
Nic’s wrestling with questions of God are poignant ones. Even though he questions the religious aspect, at the crux of the problem is Nic’s own ability to understand how little control he has over his life and his problems. Nic has to understand how much damage addiction has done and can still do in his life, so that he can continue to do the work of recovering from that damage.
Themes
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Nic introduces David to two friends he has made: The first is James, a businessman who is treating a Vicodin addiction which began after the drug was prescribed following back surgery. Before he checked himself into St. Helena, he was taking 40 pills a day. The second is Stephen, Nic’s roommate, who is a chef and an alcoholic. His addiction has almost killed him twice and has nearly destroyed his marriage.
The friends that Nic has made at St. Helena are additional examples of how addiction can ruin a person’s life. James’s addiction also reinforces the idea that sometimes nothing and no one is to blame for addiction. Some people are just unlucky to have a predisposition for addiction, while others are not.
Themes
David asks Nic if he thinks addiction is a disease. Nic says that he goes back and forth. David asks what initially flipped the switch, and Nic says that it began in Paris, where he frequently got drunk. When Nic got home, he couldn’t get alcohol, so he started smoking pot. He started doing hard drugs the night he graduated from high school: there was ecstasy at a party he went to. After that, he took anything he could find, and meth made him feel better than anything.
Nic finally reveals how pernicious his addiction has already been, escalating far more quickly than David could have realized. It’s now clear that Nic immediately spiraled out of control once he was out of parental supervision. It’s possible to look at this as a reason for David’s need to control Nic further, but it also illustrates that Nic could and would go to any lengths to satisfy his addiction regardless of what David did.
Themes
David, Karen, and Nic then go to a group session. People sob as they talk about their addictions and their family members’ hardships. James’s wife talks about how he went from being a kind and gentle person to a complete stranger: depressed, unkind, and abusive. David notes how similar all of the loved ones seem, spending years accepting and rationalizing behavior and constantly worrying.
Again, the group sessions represent a means of supporting other people. The loved ones of addicts support their family members by showing up for them, but those loved ones also receive support in being heard and in others’ acknowledgment that they, too, have been deeply hurt by addiction.
Themes
One woman talks about her sister, who is addicted to meth. She says that she doesn’t give her sister money, but she buys food and pays for medications because her sister can’t make it across the apartment to the refrigerator. The session leader prods her, questioning that the woman is capable of scoring drugs but can’t make it to the fridge. Another parent interrupts, saying that he paid his son’s bills and rent for a year because he thought his son couldn’t hold down a job or go to school—and yet his son was able to go to pawn shops and dealers and break into houses.
The woman’s story is another illustration of how support can quickly turn into enabling. Family members gradually understand the line between helping their loved ones’ lives get back on track and providing things like money or places to live for those who will simply take advantage of those luxuries.
Themes
Some stories are shocking to David: a doctor who admits she conducted surgeries for more than a year while high on meth, a person who had a DUI and fell asleep at the wheel, a woman who abandoned her three-year-old son for crack. One woman explains that her husband, Kevin, a GI, beat her up while high on meth. Kevin says that he is grateful for the program and can’t believe he attacked his wife. He says that he is looking forward to beginning a new life at home.
Others’ stories are not only further examples of the ways in which addiction has ruined their lives—they also shows the potential harm addiction can have on others, even strangers. These examples are some of the reasons that David insists on reforming how addiction is treated: the disasters that can result from drug addiction are a high price to pay for not enacting effective policies.
Themes
Nic says to David and Karen that Kevin’s wife would be safer if he were locked up. At the end of the meeting, Nic speaks up before the group leaves. He speaks directly to Kevin, saying that Kevin is arrogant, doesn’t listen, and doesn’t seem to understand that he is powerless over his addiction. Nic tells Kevin’s wife that he is saying this for her benefit, because he thinks that Kevin needs more time before coming home. She starts to sob, thanking Nic and agreeing that she doesn’t trust Kevin. Kevin glares at Nic. When the meeting is adjourned, Kevin’s wife runs over to Nic, hugging and thanking him.
This is a turning point for Nic: while he has recognized the harm that his addiction has inflicted on others, this is one of his first big affirmations of how crucial the program has been for him. As such, he’s become adamant about his fellow addicts subscribing to the program. Standing up for Kevin’s wife shows his self-awareness and his need to protect. It provides hope for the idea that Nic, too, might have enough faith in the program to fuel his recovery after leaving it.
Themes
