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Chapter 3
Themes
Key
LitCharts assigns a color and icon to each theme in Beautiful Boy, which you can use to track the themes throughout the work.
Addiction, Ruin, and Redemption
Responsibility and Blame
Parenthood and Control
Support vs. Enabling
The Disease Model, Stigma, and Treatment
Summary
Analysis
When David was young, he moved from Massachusetts to Phoenix, Arizona. He often reminisces that the world during his childhood was far more innocent and safer than the world is now—though he acknowledges that that wasn’t entirely true. The proximity to Mexico meant that drugs were “abundant and cheap.” Marijuana was prevalent: David smoked his first joint as a high school freshman. Pot, he admits, was what initiated him into his teenage social circle. David continued smoking, as he felt that it helped him assuage his awkwardness and insecurity.
David’s own drug use provides some nuance to his understanding of responsibility and blame, as he tried drugs just like Nic is beginning to experiment. Yet the fact that Nic becomes addicted to drugs, while David does not, indicates some greater, more random factor. While some people might believe that drug addiction is a product of will, some people simply have a greater predisposition for addiction.
Themes
David acknowledges that drugs were different as he was growing up: there is twice as much THC (the active ingredient) in marijuana in 2008 than there was in marijuana a decade ago, which was already more potent than the pot of previous generations. Additionally, psychedelics and ecstasy are often laced with meth or other drugs. And unlike when David was growing up, a body of research now shows the range of dangerous physical and psychological effects of drugs, including marijuana. Thus, David talks to Nic about drugs from the time he is seven or eight.
David cites concrete research which provides evidence on why addiction might be more prevalent now than it has been in the past. Drugs are more addictive now than they were in the past, and they can often be laced with much more harmful substances. Without understanding what a person is ingesting, therefore, it is easier for someone to become addicted to something quite dangerous.
Themes
When David was growing up, his parents warned him about drugs, but because they were “teetotalers,” he didn’t believe their warnings. David knows about drugs from firsthand experience and thought that he would have some credibility. He acknowledges, however, that many drug counselors tell parents to lie about their drug use. This is because kids see that their parents turned out all right in spite of the drugs and in spite of their warnings. David realizes that perhaps he should have lied to Nic about his drug use, but he didn’t. He thought that their close relationship meant that if Nic were trying drugs, he would tell David.
This is yet another decision about which David questions himself. He wonders whether lying to Nic about his previous drug history would have been better than being honest with him—if telling him about his drug history glorified it in some way. This adds to his sense of blame and responsibility for what happens to Nic—he wonders whether making another decision would have helped guide Nic toward better decisions.
Themes
David is therefore shocked to discover the marijuana in Nic’s backpack. He confronts Nic and his friend with the joint. Nic explains, embarrassed and ashamed, that it’s the first time they bought the drug, and they’d tried it one other time. David wonders whether he can trust what Nic is saying; he and Karen decide to ground Nic for at least two weeks. David explains that he doesn’t want to overreact, but he also doesn’t want to underreact—he wants to show how seriously he takes the breach of their relationship. David also wants to limit Nic’s time with his new friends, even though he knows he can’t control who his son hangs out with.
As David discovers Nic’s infraction, he again debates how, exactly, to handle it. He implicitly understands that he cannot control Nic’s behavior—he can only control how he reacts to what Nic has done in order to guide him to make better choices. Yet as Nic’s choices get worse and worse, David struggles even more over the idea that he has no control over his son’s friends and actions.
Themes
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David asks Nic why he tried pot: he knows that not long ago, the idea of smoking anything repulsed him. Nic says he was curious about pot, but that he didn’t like it. Nic promises never to try it again. David asks about other drugs and alcohol. Nic is adamant that he hasn’t tried other drugs, but that once, on a ski trip, he and a friend tried just a bit of all the liquor in the house’s cabinet. They wanted to see what it was like to get “good and drunk.” David remembers waking up in the morning to find them throwing up, thinking that it was the flu. Nic says that he hasn’t touched alcohol since because it makes him sick to think about. Nic adds one more thought: that it’s hard to say no when everybody else drinks and smokes.
Nic’s deception is another turning point his relationship with David, and makes it even more difficult for David to understand how best to proceed with his son. So much of David’s treatment of Nic is predicated on the inherent trust he has with Nic. But the more deceptions that are uncovered, the more that David recognizes that his son is out of control. The uncovered incident with the alcohol is another warning sign that Nic is lured by drugs and the social cache that comes with them, even when he knows using them is harmful.
Themes
David calls Nic’s teacher at school to tell him what happened. The teacher explains that Nic does well in school and is a leader, but he notes that Nic is being pulled by the kids that are seen as “cool.” He tells David not to worry, that most students try pot—even as young as Nic is, at 12. He suggests that David and Karen talk to Nic about it but counsels against forbidding friends, as it makes the friends more attractive. The teacher says that “steering them works better than forcing them.”
Nic’s teacher also begins to voice the idea that David cannot control the actions of his son—he can only try to “steer” Nic in a positive direction. In trying to explicitly control what Nic is doing, David is likely pushing him further toward drugs rather than away from them. It is also notable (here and in future chapters) how nonchalant many of Nic’s teachers and advisors are about his drug use. Even though many children do try drugs, David ultimately suggests that it’s important to intervene and educate early, because it’s impossible to predict who might become addicted.
Themes
David warns Nic again about pot. He notes that almost everyone he knows who smoked pot in high school tried other drugs—and everyone he knew who used hard drugs started with pot. David starts to worry about all of his past decisions—their move out of San Francisco, the divorce. He also blames his hypocrisy in telling Nic not to use drugs when he used them. Nic listens intently, but David is unsure whether he is taking it in. Three weeks later, David decides that Nic is no longer grounded, hoping that the incident has taught Nic a useful lesson.
As episodes of Nic’s drug use add up, David starts to wonder what the cause of this might be. He can’t help but look at himself for blame, wondering whether actions that he took or did not take might have contributed to Nic’s decision to use drugs. Yet, on some level, David also realizes that there are many factors that lead to someone becoming an addict.
Themes
Nic soon starts eighth grade, and things seem better to David. On one weekend when Nic is 13, the two of them go out for evening surfing when the swell is up. The surfing is the best it’s ever been, and they surf well past sunset. Fog obscures their view, and David realizes that they are on opposite sides of a current, pushing away from each other. David paddles blindly for a half hour, frantically searching for Nic through the fog. Finally, he sees Nic through the fog, “tall and magnificent” and surfing beautifully. When Nic sees David, he smiles and waves.
This episode encapsulates the often-terrifying nature of parenting. In this incident, David thinks that Nic is in danger, so he rushes to his side in an effort to protect him—only to find that Nic is perfectly fine on his own. When it comes to addiction and drugs, however, the opposite proves true for Nic—thus making it difficult for David to recognize when his son needs a firmer hand in the choices he makes and when Nic does not need his father’s help.
Themes
On the way home, Nic and David stop at a taqueria. Nic talks excitedly about his new high school. After he spent a day visiting the school, he relayed that everyone seemed so passionate, and that the teachers were really engaged. He says that “everything seems pretty great.” Middle school graduation soon arrives, and David is moved by the ceremony, observing that the students are children testing the waters of adulthood. The students cheer wildly for one another when they are called up.
Each milestone in Nic’s life up to this point continues to hold the promise of what Nic is likely to achieve in the future. Nic even explicitly acknowledges his excitement in the opportunities he will have in high school. Given what readers know about Nic’s future drug addiction, however, it seems that he’ll ruin many of these opportunities for a good life as he increasingly resorts to drugs and alcohol.
Themes
After Nic’s graduation, he is soon to leave for another summer in Los Angeles. He arranges with Vicki, however, to wait until Karen’s new baby is born. Marguerite (whom they call Daisy) is born on June 7. Nic helps give Daisy her first bath. He tells Nancy, “I never thought I would have a family like this.” The next day, Nic and Jasper play in the grass as Karen and Daisy watch. David is struck by the fact that parenthood comes with a great deal of joy but also anxiety over how vulnerable children can be. He wishes that his children could always be nearby, happy, and safe.
This moment, in which David’s children safe and happy together, gets at the heart of David’s struggle in parenting Nic. He is desperate to make sure that his children can remain this way—as all parents would. But as Nic grows up and makes increasingly dangerous choices, David will be forced to let go of Nic to a certain extent. This passage also emphasizes the reality that David cannot funnel all of his energy into protecting Nic—as a husband and a father of three, he must also consider Karen, Daisy, and Jasper’s needs.
Themes
