The Queen of the Arts Festival and a local celebrity in Midland City. Mary Alice is an Olympic Gold Medalist and the Women’s Two Hundred Meter Breast Stroke Champion of the World. Her father taught her to swim at just eight months old, and after Rabo Karabekian accuses her father of “turning her into an outboard motor,” it starts a near-riot at the festival. Mary Alice Miller represents pride in Midland City, and when Rabo ridicules Mary Alice, he ridicules Midland City by extension and suggests “that their lives might be ridiculous” as well.