Educated: Chapter 34 Summary & Analysis

That night, Tara approaches Mother and Dad in the giant “chapel” room and tells her father what Shawn said about shooting Audrey. She reveals all her stories about Shawn’s violence and abuse, but Dad demands proof. Tara tries to calmly tell him that he’s already seen the proof with his own eyes, but Dad accuses Tara of coming home to “raise hell” and trying to put Shawn in prison. Mother is silent the entire time, unwilling to say a word on Tara’s behalf. Tara begins sobbing and runs to the bathroom to be alone.

As Tara looks in the mirror, she remembers staring in the mirror as a young girl after Shawn would put her head in the toilet. She is devastated to realize that in spite of all she’s seen and accomplished, she’s right back where she started—in the filthy bathroom on Buck’s Peak, trying not to cry. She wishes she could retrieve her sixteen-year-old self from inside the mirror and force the younger, stronger her to deal with her pain. Tara goes out to the chapel to tell her father she’s going to bed, and will talk with him more about things tomorrow. Dad replies that they’ll talk about it now—Shawn is on his way over.

Tara wants to run from the house, but Dad tells her to sit and wait for Shawn. When he at last enters the house, he silently approaches Tara and reaches for her hand. He pulls her fist open and drops a bloody knife into her palm. He crouches beside her and tells her that if she’s “smart,” she’ll use the knife on herself before he can use it on her. Mother tells Shawn that that kind of speech is “uncalled for.” Tara gapes at her mother, unable to grasp what is happening. Tara finds herself wishing she were the sixteen-year-old girl in the bathroom mirror—made of stone and able to withstand anything her brother threw at her.

As Dad begins lecturing, Tara, wanting to get out of the situation no matter the cost, begins telling Shawn that she never spoke a word against him to anyone, accusing Dad of lying about her accusations. The bloody knife is on the ground, now, and Tara wonders whose blood is on it. At the end of the dizzy lecture in which Dad blames the women in the family for not knowing how to handle themselves around its men, Shawn apologizes for hurting Tara and wraps her in a big hug.

Tara goes to her room and slides the bolt, locking the door. She calls Drew and tells him what has happened—he encourages her to leave the house immediately. Tara tells him she’s afraid to run off in the middle of the night, and decides to wait until morning to go. At six, Tara packs her things. She finds Mother in the kitchen and explains that she needs to go meet Drew in Salt Lake City—something has “come up.” She promises to return in a day or two and then drives away.

Halfway down the hill, outside of Shawn’s trailer, Tara sees that the snow is stained with blood. Later, Tara will learn that Shawn had killed the family dog while his son looked on. Mother tries to explain that the dog had been eating chickens and needed to be put down, but Tara knows that slashing the dog with a knife was an act of pure violence and hatred.

In the days that follow, Tara goes over the sickening, dreamlike events of the confrontation with Shawn over and over and realizes that Mother lied—she never confronted Dad, and Dad never confronted Shawn. No one had ever promised to help Tara and Audrey, or had even heard their stories. Tara feels betrayed and confused by her mother’s “hollow” promises.