Van Go Jenkins Quotes in Erasure
I look at my hands and they all covered wif blood and I realize I don’t know what goin on. So, I stab Mama again. I stab her cause I scared. I stab Mama cause I love her. I stab Mama cause I hate her. Cause I love her. Cause I hate her. Cause I ain’t got no daddy. Then I walk out the kitchen and stand outside, leavin Mama crawlin round on the linolum tryin to hold in her guts. I stands out on the sidewalk just drippin blood like a muthafucka. I look up at the sky and I try to see Jesus, but I cain’t.
“Fuck you,” I say.
“Fuck you,” Yellow say.
“Fuck you,” I say.
“Fuck you,” Yellow say.
“Fuck you,” I say.
“Fuck you,” Yellow say.
“Fuck you,” I say.
“Fuck you,” Yellow say.
“Fuck you,” I say.
“Fuck you,” Yellow say.
“Fuck you,” I say.
“Fuck you,” Yellow say.
“Fuck you,” I say.
“Fuck you,” Yellow say.
“Fuck you,” I say.
“Fuck you,” Yellow say.
“You ain’t shit,” I say.
“Well, you is shit,” Yellow say.
“You live around here, Van?” Roger asked. “What is this? Compton?”
I don’t say nothin. I just glance at them in the mirror. They starin out the windows like we in Jungleland or some shit. Like we at Dissyland in that fuckin submarine. Niggers on the street be lookin at me drivin this fine car and I feels cool till I remember that I’m in the front by myself and them two bitches be in the back and I be lookin like some flunky-ass chaffeur.
I can feel the rage swell up inside me. I hates this man. I hates my mama. I hates myself. I’m seein my face in his. I see the ape that stupid girls say they be fraid of. [...] I see Mama bleedin in my dream. I see my babies. I see Rexall, wifout a brain, growin up and axing “Why not me?” I see my daddy. I see myself. I shoot the muthafucka. Pop! In the gut.
Willy double over and he look at me like to say, “Why?” I yell at him. I be standin over him yellin at the back of his head. “Cause you aint shit!” I say. “Cause you made me, muthafucka! Cause I aint shit!” I be cryin now and I think I hear sumpin out at the street. I run again.
I looks up and see the cameras. I get kicked again while I’m bein pulled to my feet. But I dont care. The cameras is pointin at me. I be on the TV. The cameras be full of me. I on TV. I say, “Hey, Mama.” I say, “Hey, Baby Girl. Look at me. I on TV.”
“God, I just love that,” Kenya says, shaking her head. “Now, I know some of you at home are thinking that some of the language is kinda rough, but let me tell you, it doesn’t get any more real than this. With this kinda talent, chile, don’t you think we ought to forgive our guest’s intense bashfulness?”
Audience applause, approval, endorsement, blessing.
I chose one of the TV cameras and stared into it. I said, “Egads, I’m on television.”
Van Go Jenkins Quotes in Erasure
I look at my hands and they all covered wif blood and I realize I don’t know what goin on. So, I stab Mama again. I stab her cause I scared. I stab Mama cause I love her. I stab Mama cause I hate her. Cause I love her. Cause I hate her. Cause I ain’t got no daddy. Then I walk out the kitchen and stand outside, leavin Mama crawlin round on the linolum tryin to hold in her guts. I stands out on the sidewalk just drippin blood like a muthafucka. I look up at the sky and I try to see Jesus, but I cain’t.
“Fuck you,” I say.
“Fuck you,” Yellow say.
“Fuck you,” I say.
“Fuck you,” Yellow say.
“Fuck you,” I say.
“Fuck you,” Yellow say.
“Fuck you,” I say.
“Fuck you,” Yellow say.
“Fuck you,” I say.
“Fuck you,” Yellow say.
“Fuck you,” I say.
“Fuck you,” Yellow say.
“Fuck you,” I say.
“Fuck you,” Yellow say.
“Fuck you,” I say.
“Fuck you,” Yellow say.
“You ain’t shit,” I say.
“Well, you is shit,” Yellow say.
“You live around here, Van?” Roger asked. “What is this? Compton?”
I don’t say nothin. I just glance at them in the mirror. They starin out the windows like we in Jungleland or some shit. Like we at Dissyland in that fuckin submarine. Niggers on the street be lookin at me drivin this fine car and I feels cool till I remember that I’m in the front by myself and them two bitches be in the back and I be lookin like some flunky-ass chaffeur.
I can feel the rage swell up inside me. I hates this man. I hates my mama. I hates myself. I’m seein my face in his. I see the ape that stupid girls say they be fraid of. [...] I see Mama bleedin in my dream. I see my babies. I see Rexall, wifout a brain, growin up and axing “Why not me?” I see my daddy. I see myself. I shoot the muthafucka. Pop! In the gut.
Willy double over and he look at me like to say, “Why?” I yell at him. I be standin over him yellin at the back of his head. “Cause you aint shit!” I say. “Cause you made me, muthafucka! Cause I aint shit!” I be cryin now and I think I hear sumpin out at the street. I run again.
I looks up and see the cameras. I get kicked again while I’m bein pulled to my feet. But I dont care. The cameras is pointin at me. I be on the TV. The cameras be full of me. I on TV. I say, “Hey, Mama.” I say, “Hey, Baby Girl. Look at me. I on TV.”
“God, I just love that,” Kenya says, shaking her head. “Now, I know some of you at home are thinking that some of the language is kinda rough, but let me tell you, it doesn’t get any more real than this. With this kinda talent, chile, don’t you think we ought to forgive our guest’s intense bashfulness?”
Audience applause, approval, endorsement, blessing.
I chose one of the TV cameras and stared into it. I said, “Egads, I’m on television.”