A former boxer turned vacuum-cleaner salesman whom Lily meets in Chicago. He is gregarious and “a bit of a huckster,” but Lily quickly falls for him anyways. After six weeks of dating, the two marry. When Lily gets hit by a car and calls Ted’s office from the hospital, she learns that he is already married to another woman, Margaret, and that he has nearly drained their joint bank account. She also learns that the diamond ring he gave her is a fake. When confronted, a whimpering Ted apologizes for having “destroyed” Lily. Lily says he does not have what it takes to destroy her, and she gets the marriage annulled.