LitCharts assigns a color and icon to each theme in How to Win Friends and Influence People, which you can use to track the themes throughout the work.
Self-Interest vs. Selflessness
Importance and Humility
Positivity vs. Negativity
Sincerity and Appreciation vs. Insincerity and Flattery
Summary
Analysis
Years ago, the General Electric company had to remove Charles Steinmetz from the head of a department. Instead of firing him, they gave him a new title for work he was already doing and let someone else head up the department. Everyone was happy, particularly Steinmetz, because they considered his feelings and let him save face.
This chapter focuses on allowing people to save face. In this example, Steinmetz harbored no animosity toward the company because they let him maintain his dignity and continue to feel important thanks to a new title.
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Being fired disappoints people, and they retain no love for the company that lets them go. One manager at an accounting firm, Marshall Granger, discusses letting their seasonal workers go. He compliments them and says the firm is proud of them. As a result, they don’t feel let down, and they know that if the firm had work for them, it would keep them on.
Again, Carnegie emphasizes that the point of letting people save face is to focus positively on the work that they are doing, particularly in situations where they might be inclined to think negatively—like when workers are being let go. As a result, good relationships are maintained on both sides.
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Fred Clark told of one incident in which a vice president was asking pointed and embarrassing questions of one of the production supervisors, which made the supervisor evasive. This, in turn, made the vice president angry—and a few months later, the supervisor left the firm to work for a competitor.
In this example, Carnegie illustrates what happens when people don’t allow others to save face. This vice president lost a valuable production supervisor because he humiliated him and prevented him from feeling important.
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Anna Mazzone’s case illustrates how it is better to let people save face. Once, she made a mistake in test marketing a product, and the entire test had to be done over again. When she was called in to give a report, she was very upset, but her boss didn’t blow up. He thanked her for her work and told her he had faith in her—and that her lack of experience, not ability, was the reason for the failure. She left the meeting with her head high, determined never to let him down again. Real leaders will let people save face.
Again, this example illustrates that letting people save face prevents resentment overall, and it can also spur people to do even better work after making mistakes or failing, as in Anna Mazzone’s case. Only by allowing her to hold her head high is she then able to succeed the next time.