Middlesex: Book 4: Looking Myself Up in Webster’s Summary & Analysis

Callie has trouble sleeping, consumed by grief over her separation from the Obscure Object. The period she spends in New York is traumatic, and will impact her for the rest of her life. After two weeks of evaluating her, Dr. Luce has finally come to a conclusion. Callie can tell by the way that Milton has dressed that he is bracing himself for bad news. Tessie is also clearly miserable, yet in hindsight Cal finds that there is something strangely amusing about her parents’ distressed state. At the clinic, Tessie immediately notices that Dr. Luce refers to Callie as her “daughter.”

Dr. Luce begins by explaining how as babies, everyone carries “potential boy parts and girl parts,” and that the development of one or the other depends on a person’s hormones and enzymes. He then explains that in childhood, Callie developed largely as a girl, and that this was obviously intensified by the fact that she was being raised as a girl. However, during puberty, an influx of testosterone began to have a significant impact on her. He summarizes Callie’s condition by saying, “Callie is a girl who has a little too much male hormone,” and adds that he will try to fix this. On hearing this, Milton and Tessie feel optimistic. Dr. Luce asks if they know of any other family members who have similar genital ambiguity. Tessie and Milton say they don’t.  

Dr. Luce explains that he is recommending a treatment combining hormone injections and surgery, which will mean that Callie will “look like a normal girl.” However, when Tessie asks, Luce admits that unfortunately, Callie will always be infertile. Tessie points out that Callie has a period, but Luce replies that this is “impossible.” He assures them that for now there will only be one surgery and that Callie will not have to stay longer than overnight. It doesn’t take much more to persuade Milton and Tessie to agree to it, tempted by the realization that after the surgery, “No one [will] ever know” the truth about Callie.

Callie herself is in the New York Public Library, reading about her condition. Holding Webster’s Dictionary, she looks up the words hypospadias, then eunuch, then hermaphrodite. The entry for hermaphrodite contains a note at the bottom that reads, “See synonyms at MONSTER.” Callie immediately stops reading, overcome by fear. The word “monster” taunts her. Callie goes down to meet her parents, who pull up in a cab, and is initially relieved to see that Milton is smiling. However, she then becomes convinced that “Her parents kn[o]w she [i]s a monster.” Milton informs Callie about the surgery, assuring her that it will be over quickly and that she can come home to Detroit within a week.

Callie starts crying, asking Milton what’s wrong with her. Milton explains that it’s “a hormonal thing,” adding that it’s “no big deal.” When Callie goes to see Dr. Luce herself that evening, he speaks plainly, without oversimplifying or sugarcoating his words. He frankly informs Callie that she won’t be able to have biological children, which doesn’t trouble her greatly. There is a knock at the door, and Dr. Luce briefly excuses himself. Left alone, Callie looks out at the New York skyline and cries. She then gazes at a Mughal painting on the wall which depicts a naked man and woman, and realizes that she identifies with both figures equally.

Turning to Dr. Luce’s desk, Callie sees that he has left her file open and immediately starts to read it. Luce has written that when Callie was born, she had a penis so small it was mistaken for a clitoris. During puberty, the penis began to “virilize.’ Callie has XY chromosomes, but 5-alpha-reductase deficiency syndrome. The file describes Callie’s mannerisms as “pleasant” and “feminine.” It describes Milton and Tessie as “fairly typical Midwesterners of the World War II generation,” noting that Milton is a Republican and Tessie is kind and nurturing, though perhaps somewhat neurotic. He notes that although they appear rather “all-American,” their Greek ethnicity still plays a significant part in their lives.

Dr. Luce concludes that pretty much everything about Callie is female, even if she is chromosomally male, which proves that environmental factors are more important than biology in determining gender. He notes that there is a chance Callie will lose the ability to feel sexual pleasure during the surgery, but that this risk is worth in it in order to ensure that she can get married and pass as a “normal woman.”

That night, Milton surprises Callie with tickets to a Broadway show, but Callie claims she’s too tired to go. Before Tessie and Milton reluctantly go without her, Callie hugs Tessie tight. After they go, she takes Milton’s suitcase and fills it with darker clothes, leaving her feminine clothes behind. She takes $300 in cash from Milton and writes a note to her parents saying that Dr. Luce is a “big liar” and that she is actually a boy, not a girl. She urges them not to worry about her and signs her name as Callie, which is the last time she will ever identify as such.