LitCharts assigns a color and icon to each theme in Mother to Mother, which you can use to track the themes throughout the work.
The Legacy of Colonialism and Apartheid
Family, Tradition, and Obligation
Language, Storytelling, and History
Summary
Analysis
Mandisa begins with an address to the Mother of the Girl. She acknowledges her son, Mxolisi, killed the Mother’s daughter. Mandisa explains that, since the murder, her community has been blaming her for her son’s actions, but she argues that she has never had any control over him.
Right away, the novel introduces the idea that family can be burdensome. Mandisa’s community sees children as extensions of their parents, and thus Mxolisi’s crime is essentially Mandisa’s, too, which is a line of reasoning that Mandisa finds unfair.
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Mandisa continues that she isn’t shocked Mxolisi killed the Girl. Nothing about her son shocks her anymore, she explains, ever since his accidental conception, which “unreasonably and totally destroy[ed] the me that I was […] the me I would have become.” Additionally, she was well aware that Mxolisi, or one of his friends, could easily kill someone at any time.
Mandisa depicts her son as a force of nature that is so powerful and strong-willed, even his conception was out of Mandisa’s control. The story will later reveal that Mandisa got pregnant despite carefully avoiding penetrative sex, and thus goes on to believe that her son took her virginity in a way. She gestures to that here by explaining how Mxolisi’s accidental conception “unreasonably and totally destroy[ed]” her and her bright future. By depicting her son as this powerful, imposing force, Mandisa suggests that she couldn’t possibly control him, and thus she shouldn’t be blamed for his actions.
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Mandisa asks the Mother why the Girl was in Guguletu, where it is unsafe for white people. She believes that the Girl was naïve in her commitment to helping others—that “people like your daughter […] so believe in their goodness, know they have hurt no one, are, indeed, helping, they never think anyone would want to hurt them.” Mandisa suspects that if Mxolisi had killed one of the black women who were accompanying the Girl, there would have been no public outcry, no police involvement, and he likely would’ve walked free.
Mother to Mother is based on the real-life murder of a young white woman named Amy Biehl—a kindhearted, altruistic Fulbright scholar who was in South Africa to help residents get ready for their first-ever democratic elections—in the impoverished black township of Guguletu. The novel never expressly states that the Girl and Amy Biehl are one and the same, but the way that Mandisa pieces together the Girl’s life and murder largely echoes Biehl’s life—and its sudden end.
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Mandisa argues that the Girl “has paid for the sins of the fathers and mothers who did not do their share of seeing that” Mxolisi lived a good life. Now that he’s in jail, he has access to amenities he never had as a free man. She wonders, why is Mxolisi “living a better life, if chained?”
Mandisa once again argues that she shouldn’t be responsible for Mxolisi’s crime. Instead, she points to “the fathers and mothers who did not do their share” of ensuring that Mxolisi could live a good and meaningful life. Mandisa is likely referring to white settlers here, suggesting that colonizers (who eventually became governors, then other politicians, then law enforcement officers) are like cruel, adoptive “fathers and mothers” of South Africa who care little for their “children,” only providing them with basic necessities within the confines of a government-funded prison.
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Mandisa ends her address with a plea to God. She says she is “a mother, with a mother’s heart,” and she is overwhelmed with shame, and the hurt of the Mother. She asks God to forgive Mxolisi for his sin.
Mandisa and the Mother are both bound by loss and grief, and Mandisa attempts to connect with the Mother over their shared sorrow. Mandisa’s emotional appeal in this passage speaks to the novel’s interest in the way that storytelling and language—here in the form of a personal letter—can bring people together through shared experiences and histories.