Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit: 3. Leviticus Summary & Analysis

Jeanette writes that heathens were a “daily preoccupation” in her mother’s household. The neighbors next door—which her mother referred to only as Next Door—were particularly hated by Jeanette’s mother, and she often played hymns on the piano as loudly as she could in order to disguise the sounds of fighting and copulation that came from the neighbors with whom Jeanette and her family shared a wall.

Jeanette writes that her mother always called herself a “missionary on the home front.” Though she hadn’t been called to far-off places like Pastor Spratt and his Glory Crusade, Jeanette’s mother felt that she was guided by the Lord and that it was her duty to convert those around her as well. Her mother is the treasurer of the Society for the Lost, a religious organization in England that recruits new members by dangling small prizes such as discount hymnbooks and free Christmas records. Jeanette’s mother regularly designs gifts for the Society to give away, such as an outdoor thermometer which doubles as a sliding scale showing the number of possible conversions a member could make each year, were they to convert two souls, who would each convert two souls, and so on.

One year, the Society holds a special conference in Jeanette’s hometown. In preparation for the event, Jeanette’s mother makes Jeanette stand on an orange box at the market and “shout at everyone what was happening” while giving out pamphlets. Jeanette has a bad time at the market; it is raining, and many street vendors shout at her to get out of the way. Eventually Mrs. Arkwright from the pest control shop takes pity on Jeanette and invites her to share her stall so that she can give out her pamphlets without getting wet. Watching Jeanette shouting at passerby, Mrs. Arkwright tells Jeanette that her mother is mad.

At two o’ clock, Jeanette is finally permitted to go into the conference with the rest of the Society members. At the door, her mother is waiting for her, and asks how many pamphlets Jeanette has given out. When Jeanette replies “all of them,” her mother moves aside and lets her in. As the pastor begins a sermon on perfection, Jeanette develops her first theological disagreement. She listens skeptically as the pastor proclaims that perfection, the condition of man before the Fall, can only be achieved in the next world, and that perfection can be equated with flawlessness.

Jeanette launches into a fanciful story of a woman so beautiful that the sight of her could heal the sick and cause crops to flourish. Not only beautiful, this woman was wise, and well-acquainted with the laws of physics, and her favorite things to do were sing and weave. The woman lived in a forest; on the opposite side of the woods, in a section of the forest that had become a town, a prince roamed sadly through his palace, lamenting to his steadfast companion, a goose, that he was unable to run his kingdom properly without a wife. The prince told the goose that he wanted a woman who was perfect, without blemish inside or out. He began to cry, and the goose, moved by the prince’s pain, went off to find his advisors.

The goose told the prince’s courtiers that he wanted a wife who was flawless in every respect. The advisors immediately took up their horns, sounded the cry, and began their search. After three years, the advisors were unable to find a woman that the prince would not refuse. The goose warned the prince that what he wanted did not exist, but the prince insisted that he would find the perfect bride, and chopped off the goose’s head.

After three more years of no luck, the prince began writing a book called The Holy Mystery of Perfection. Once completed, the prince gave a copy to each of his advisors as a sort of manual for their continued search. One of the advisors took the book off to a clearing in the woods to read in peace, and there heard a woman singing. He followed the sound of the woman’s voice and came upon a woman spinning thread and singing—it was the beautiful physicist. The advisor approached her and asked for a chat, but the woman rebuffed him and told him to return at noon. Meanwhile, the prince’s advisor asked around about the woman, and was told by all her neighbors that she was perfect.

The advisor returned to the woman’s cottage at noon and told her she had to accompany him and return to the prince to marry him. The woman protested, saying that she did not want to get married, and the advisor left, promising to return. Three days later, the prince and his entourage arrived back at the woman’s house, and the prince begged for her hand in marriage. Again, the woman refused. The prince showed her his book, and the woman frowned, pulled the prince inside her house, and shut the door.

The prince’s retinue camped three days and three nights outside the woman’s home, and on the fourth day, the prince emerged “weary and unwashed,” ready to tell the tale of all that had taken place inside. The woman, he had found, was perfect, but not flawless. She was balanced and harmonious, but not without flaw. He announced to his advisors that he intended to rewrite his book on perfection and issue a public apology to his slain goose.

The prince’s advisors told him that as a prince, he could not have been wrong in his original theory, and the prince paced the forest in search of a solution. That night, one of his advisors approached him, and whispered in the prince’s ear what he thought the prince must do. The prince refused his advisor’s advice, at first, insisting that if he followed it no one would believe him, but his advisor told the prince that he must do what he had told him to do. At dawn, the trumpets rang out, and the whole village assembled to see what the prince would say.

The prince called for the woman to come forth. When she emerged from her home, the sun shone on her, and she was more beautiful than ever before. The prince began his speech, conceding that perfection on earth was not to be found, but to be fashioned. The woman called out that there was such a thing as perfection, and the prince countered that the woman would not have taken such trouble to convince him of her beliefs that perfection and flawlessness were not the same thing if she were not flawed herself. The woman insisted she had many blemishes, and begged the prince to understand that what he sought did not exist. The prince called for the woman’s head, and his courtiers chopped it off.

The blood flowing from the woman’s neck become a lake which drowned the prince’s advisors and most of the court. The prince climbed a tree to escape the rising waters, vowing to continue on his quest. From the top of the tree, the prince heard a noise below him. He looked down and saw an old man selling oranges. The prince asked for a dozen, and also asked if the old man sold any books or magazines. The old man pulled a leather-bound book from his pocket, offering it to the prince for free, and telling him that it was a book on how to build the perfect person with the right equipment. The prince snatched the book away from the old man and ran.