Sir Epicure Mammon Quotes in The Alchemist
Methinks I see him entering ordinaries,
Dispensing for the pox; and plaguy houses,
Reaching his dose; walking Moorfields for lepers;
And offering citizens’ wives pomander-bracelets
As his preservative, made of the elixir;
Searching the spittle, to make old bawds young;
And the highways for beggars to make rich.
I see no end of his labours. He will make
Nature ashamed of her long sleep, when art,
Who’s but a stepdame, shall do more than she,
In her best love to mankind, ever could.
If his dream last, he’ll turn the age to gold.
For I do mean
To have a list of wives and concubines
Equal with Solomon, who had the stone
Alike with me; and I will make me a back
With the elixir that shall be as tough
As Hercules, to encounter fifty a night.
I will have all my beds blown up, not stuffed;
Down is too hard. And then mine oval room
Filled with such pictures as Tiberius took
From Elephantis, and dull Aretine
But coldly imitated. Then, my glasses
Cut in more subtle angles, to disperse
And multiply the figures as I walk
Naked between my succubae.
Pray you, sir, stay.
Rather than I’ll be brayed, sir, I’ll believe,
That alchemy is a pretty kind of game,
Somewhat like tricks o’the cards, to cheat a man
With charming.
You’re very right, sir; she is a most rare scholar,
And is gone mad with studying Broughton’s works.
If you but name a word touching the Hebrew,
She falls into her fit, and will discourse
So learnedly of genealogies,
As you would run mad, too, to hear her, sir.
Sweet Madame, let me be particular—
Particular, sir? I pray you, know your distance.
Be silent: not a word if he call or knock.
I’ll into mine old shape again, and meet him,
Of Jeremy the butler. I’ the meantime,
Do you two pack up all the goods and purchase
That we can carry i’ the two trunks. I’ll keep him
Off for today, if I cannot longer; and then
At night, I’ll ship you both away to Ratcliffe,
Where we’ll meet tomorrow, and there we’ll share.
Let Mammon’s brass and pewter keep the cellar;
We’ll have another time for that. But, Doll,
Pray thee, go heat a little water, quickly,
Subtle must shave me.
So I will, sir. Gentlemen,
My part a little fell in this last scene,
Yet ’twas decorum. And though I am clean
Got off, from Subtle, Surly, Mammon, Doll,
Hot Ananias, Dapper, Drugger, all
With whom I traded; yet I put myself
On you, that are my country; and this pelf
Which I have got, if you do quit me, rests
To feast you often, and invite new guests.