The Girl Who Drank the Moon: Chapter 19 Summary & Analysis

Luna feels as though she’ll never be 12. She’s quick to learn, but is frustrated by how much she doesn’t yet know. She feels that there’s something missing. Once Luna turns 12, she finds that this feeling doesn’t go away and many other unpleasant changes occur. She’s tall, peevish, and distracted. She also realizes that there are books in the workshop that she’s never read. Luna can’t remember their titles, and though she knows that she should be able to read the words, she can’t. When she looks at them, she goes fuzzy for hours. Luna doesn’t tell anyone since she doesn’t want to worry them. It’s embarrassing and strange, and Luna knows that it’s wrong. Luna also starts to draw. She draws maps, a tower, and a woman with black hair.

Later that year, Luna and Xan go to the Free Cities to check in on the pregnant women. Luna feels prickly and worried, as Xan seems weak and pained—though she insists she’s fine. Luna knows it’s a lie. When they get to the first town, Luna runs ahead and tells a widow woman that Xan isn’t well. By the time Xan arrives, half the town is there and ready to help her feel better. The townsfolk praise Luna, which isn’t unusual. Luna, however, doesn’t know why they admire her. One woman sighs that Luna sounds like magic. Xan shoots the woman a dirty look. Luna knows that she’s heard that word before, but it flies out of her head.

Luna sits with Star Children, the youngest an infant and the oldest an elderly man. They discuss their earliest memories, trying to remember life before Xan brought them to their families. Luna thinks of things and wonders if they’re memories or dreams. She says that she remembers an old man with swishy robes who didn’t like her. Xan rolls her eyes and says that this is silly, but Luna goes on. She remembers a woman hanging from the ceiling, but Xan says that she’s been there for Luna’s whole life. Luna says that she remembers a boy who smelled like sawdust, but Xan explains this away. Few of Luna’s memories are as strong as this one. She knows it means something and thinks that Xan never talks about memories.

The next day, Luna accompanies Xan as she checks on pregnant women. The first woman is very pregnant and doesn’t even get up to greet them. As is customary, Luna kisses the woman’s cheek and touches her belly. She feels the baby leap, and a lump rises in her throat. Luna busies herself making tea and thinks that she had a mother once. She makes a list of things she knows, including that sorrow is dangerous, memories are difficult, and that neither she nor Xan always tell the truth. The woman asks for Luna to put her hands on her belly since she lives “in the presence of magic,” but Xan shoos Luna outside before Luna’s thinking goes fuzzy. When she comes to, she is pouring cold tea.

At the next house, Luna arranges herbs and furniture. The woman praises Luna, and Xan says that Luna is so smart because she’s Xan’s. Luna feels a cold rush and remembers black hair and a woman screaming “she’s mine.” Luna can hear the woman screaming in her head, but Xan doesn’t seem to notice. The rest of the journey is uneventful. Xan and Luna don’t speak about Luna’s memories, and the things they don’t talk about begin to outweigh the things they do talk about.