The Left Hand of Darkness: Chapter 18 Summary & Analysis

Ai, writing from later in his life, remarks that he is sometimes taken back to his time in the tent with Estraven, the two of them in “the center of all things,” insulated against the lonely darkness of death. Ai identifies these moments as the center of his life. 

Ai’s months on Gobrin are difficult, but in hindsight he sees them as joyful. He and Estraven enter into an easy rhythm of walking, eating, sleeping, setting up the tent and taking it down. They rarely converse while marching because of the painful cold, but talk in the evenings. Ai finds setting up camp exhausting, and often resents Estraven’s methodical insistence on maintaining order. However, Ai recognizes that this order keeps him alive.

The two march for over fifty days. Estraven keeps a journal, recording short thoughts and notes about the weather, but nothing about his deeper conversations with Ai or the subject of mindspeech. Ai has promised to teach this skill to Estraven, but has asked him to keep it a secret from other Gethenians until he can check in with his Ekuminical comrades. Ai feels that mindspeech is the only gift of civilization he can give to Estraven, and possibly the only gift the Ekumen can give Gethen.

Ai suspects Gethenians and “one-sexed” humans can have sex with each other, but he and Estraven do not test his theory, even though Estraven enters kemmer one night early in their journey. 

In this moment, in kemmer, Ai sees Estraven as both a man and a woman. Up until now, Ai sees that he has been rejecting and “refus[ing] [Estraven] his own reality.” Ai finally understands Estraven’s frustration at Ai’s lack of trust, when Estraven had fully trusted him. Estraven had seen Ai as a human being, but Ai had been unable, until now, to see Estraven as the same, instead distrusting him because he seemed false, neither fully man nor fully woman. 

Estraven tells Ai that while he is in kemmer they cannot touch, and so they do not. Ai thinks this sexual tension leads to great friendship, and eventually to love. It is the differences between them, not their similarities, which draw them to each other. Ai believes that “to meet sexually would be for us to meet once more as aliens.” However, Ai admits he and Estraven may have been wrong not to experiment with each other sexually. 

A few nights after Estraven has gone through kemmer, Ai offers to teach him mindspeech. They try for many days, but although Ai reaches out, Estraven cannot hear him. One night, after an unsuccessful session, the men go to bed. Ai feels an empathetic bond between them, and as they fall asleep he reaches out to Estraven a final time, calling him by his first name, “Therem.” This time the mindspeech works, but Estraven is alarmed because, in mindspeech, Ai’s voice sounds like that of Estraven’s dead brother, Arek.

Ai calms him and explains what has happened. Estraven relaxes, but is surprised that Ai used his first name, Therem, instead of Harth. The use of this name is part of the reason Estraven thought his brother was addressing him. Ai apologizes, but Estraven tells Ai he can call him Therem from now on. Estraven doesn’t understand why the voice he hears is Arek’s. Ai doesn’t know, but asks more about his brother. Estraven tells Ai that Arek was a year older than he was, but has been dead for fourteen years. 

Ai encourages Estraven to call him by his first name, Genly. Estraven reaches out, and he is able to mindspeak to Ai. However, mindspeech remains difficult for Estraven, as it disturbs him. Ai wonders if Gethenians are ill-suited for it, or if Estraven is a special case. He understands that something happened between Estraven and his brother, and the mindspeech, which sounds like Arek’s voice, is painful to him.

On the fortieth day of their journey, Estraven remarks that they might have to cut rations. He begins to fast, but insists Ai continue to eat half-rations. This offends Ai, but Estraven explains that he has practiced fasting for much of his life, whereas Ai has not, and will die if he tries. 

As they consider the future and their eventual arrival in Karhide, Estraven predicts what will happen to Ai. He suspects the Orgota will claim he has died, and will be embarrassed when he resurfaces. Argaven will briefly be happy to have him back, during which time Ai must send for his spaceship. Estraven knows that Karhide has been humbled by Orgoreyn and will appreciate a status boost of welcoming an alien ship.

Estraven wonders again why Ai was sent alone. Ai explains it is the Ekumen’s custom, though he doesn’t fully understand the reasons, knowing only that it values beginnings, and proceeding slowly and subtly. Alone as Envoy, he’s more vulnerable and less threatening, but also more open to the world, able to be changed by it. All of his relationships are as personal as they are political. He is forced to think not in terms of “We and They…I and It; but I and Thou.”