The Life of Olaudah Equiano: Chapter 10 Summary & Analysis

Back in London, Equiano began to reflect on his near brush with death and on the necessity of acknowledging the grace of God. He left the service of Dr. Irving and spent a great deal of time thinking about the salvation of the soul and how he might become a better Christian. He wandered around various churches, from Quaker to Roman Catholic to Jewish temples, but he still felt ill at ease, as he failed to get a satisfactory answer from anyone about how to gain eternal life. He saw no one around him who kept all the ten commandments, and he felt that the Turks were in fact much more righteous than those calling themselves Christian; he decided to return to Turkey.

In early 1774, Equiano found a captain bound for Smyrna and he recommended a black man, John Annis, to join on as cook. Annis had formerly been a servant of a man named Mr. Kirkpatrick who lived in St. Kitt’s. Though Annis left Kirkpatrick’s plantation with his agreement, at one point on the way to Smyrna the former master learned that Annis was on board and took him away by force. Equiano tried to regain his friend’s liberty, but failed: he later learned that when Annis arrived at St. Kitt’s, he was whipped brutally and put into irons.

Equiano was suffering himself during this time, worrying about his own sins. His only comfort was reading the Bible, especially the verse that reads “there is no new thing under the sun.” But he began to blaspheme again and he continued to wish for death, though instead he received terrifying visions at night. He prayed to be introduced to any holy person who might show him the light. One day, as he was wandering through Smyrna, he was directed to a house occupied by an old former sailor. This man was confident in God’s love, and Equiano eagerly began to question him. The man gave Equiano some things to read, and invited him to his chapel that evening for a feast.

That evening, Equiano was surprised to see many ministers but no eating and drinking. Some speakers began to relate their experiences of God’s providence and mercy. Amazed and admiring, Equiano desired to be as content and grateful as them; he’d never seen this kind of Christian fellowship, which ended with a simple meal together.

Equiano returned home and was newly shocked to hear God’s name taken in vain so often at his lodgings. He vowed to put an end to playing cards and indulging in empty joking and swearing. He returned to see his new acquaintance Mr. C— the next day, and received from him a book called “The Conversion of an Indian.” He found it fascinating and continued to study and learn for two months.

Then Equiano heard of a man who died fully assured of going to heaven. Equiano asked how, and learned that if he didn’t experience rebirth and forgiveness of sins before he died, he wouldn’t enter heaven. Equiano was concerned, especially because he knew he only kept eight out of ten commandments, but a clerk in the chapel told him that only Christ could keep all the commandments: the sins of the chosen were already atoned for and forgiven during their life, and only by experiencing this could Equiano be saved. Equiano was upset and confused to hear that the clerk claimed that he too was certain of reaching heaven. Equiano didn’t know whether to keep believing in salvation by works or faith only, but he couldn’t figure out how one could know his sins were forgiven in life. At the chapel, Equiano spoke with a reverend who recommended that Equiano simply continue to read the scriptures, go to church, and pray to God.

Equiano was hired again for a ship to Cadiz in Spain, and was upset to hear God’s name often taken in vain. He also struggled to understand how he couldn’t be saved by good works: he was seized by confusion and wanted to die. Indeed, he nearly once threw himself off the ship, but he remembered the Bible’s injunction against suicide. Then he decided he’d rather beg on land than spend time with such men at sea, but the captain refused to discharge him. He did get many chances to read the scriptures on the way.

One evening, while reading the Bible, Equiano began to think that he had indeed lived a good life, but still wondered whether this was enough to reach salvation. Suddenly, the light of God broke in on him and Equiano saw a vision of Jesus crucified on the cross, bearing the sins of all. He recognized that he was born again, and sensed the sweetness of the word of God. He recognized that God’s hand had invisibly guided and protected him, even at his darkest moments. He instantly stopped fearing death and hell, but wept at the thought that God would save a sinner like him.

On the ship, few people believed Equiano’s story, and he longed to be in London among more like-minded people. His only comfort was the Bible: in these pages of the narrative Equiano cites a number of Bible verses to help explain his state and situation. The ship returned to London a month afterwards.

Equiano was still puzzled about a certain Bible verse, so he went to see a famous reverend preach at Blackfriars church, where he happened to be preaching on that very text: Equiano left reassured about the difference between human works and the elect, that the latter was entirely up to God’s will. He returned to the chapel, where his friends were delighted at the change in him. Here Equiano transcribes a poem about his conversion: it begins with the dangers of his youth, his enslavement, and his desires for death. The poem recounts his dejection and despair as he wandered over the seas, and finally the moment of light when he felt spiritually reborn.