Caretaking and Responsibility Theme Analysis

Caretaking in The Mothers is a duty or responsibility women are expected to uphold. Nadia grapples with this expectation throughout the novel. First, she has to face the congregation’s opinion that her mother has shirked her motherly duties by killing herself—nobody, it seems, is willing to consider the fact that Elise has acted according to a sense of free will by ending her own suffering. Instead, the community focuses exclusively on her failure to fulfill her obligations as a mother. Nadia’s father, on the other hand, retreats into himself after Elise’s suicide, neglecting to provide Nadia with the support she needs, and even depending on her to keep their lives on track. Despite his failure to shoulder the responsibilities of a primary caretaker, nobody in the community condemns Robert for acting selfishly or expects him to address his daughter’s needs. This unequal gender dynamic also manifests itself in Nadia’s relationship with Luke, since Luke eventually shames her for having an abortion, ultimately suggesting that Nadia has heartlessly shirked her responsibility to care for their unborn baby. In other words, Luke implies that Nadia had an obligation to become a caretaker just because she was pregnant, and though he was complicit in her decision to get an abortion, he retroactively implies that it was Nadia’s duty to go through with her pregnancy and become a mother. As such, Bennett shows that society expects different things of women and men when it comes to caretaking, a notion that puts the burden on women to support their loved ones and shames them when they decide to prioritize their own needs.

Elise Turner’s suicide invites widespread disapproval from the church community. Although Nadia is also angry that her mother has committed suicide and abandoned her, the condemnation expressed by the Upper Room community is perhaps stronger than Nadia would have expected. This is because Elise has violated the church’s social contract, which upholds that women must take care of their children and husbands at all costs. When Nadia stands in the receiving line after the funeral, one of the Mothers approaches her and says, “I just can’t believe she did that to you.” This comment emphasizes to Nadia the idea that mothers are held responsible for their children. By killing herself, Elise has blatantly disregarded this idea, to the extent that people like the Mothers see her actions as not only selfish, but pointedly aggressive, too: “[It was as if] her mother had shot Nadia, not herself,” Bennett writes, showing Nadia’s discomfort about having to listen to her community berate her mother under the guise of sympathizing with Nadia. Framing the situation in this manner, Bennett illustrates how Nadia is forced to feel ashamed because of her mother’s actions. As a mere teenager, then, Nadia quickly learns that society expects women to always prioritize their loved ones over themselves.

Unfortunately, men aren’t subject to the same expectations surrounding caretaking and responsibility. This is made evident by the fact that nobody criticizes Robert Turner for completely avoiding the everyday duties of a single father. Instead of caring for Nadia after Elise’s suicide, Robert spends the majority of his time using his truck to run errands for Upper Room. When Nadia gets drunk and crashes his truck, she overhears her father admit to the pastor that he doesn’t know how to raise her without Elise’s help. Hearing this, Nadia feels bad that her father blames himself for her own mistakes, although she also blames him. Bennett writes, “[Nadia] had been the one who held it together. She’d answered the door when the Mothers visited with food, while her father disappeared into the darkness of his bedroom.” When she eventually tires of eating the Mothers’ food, Nadia goes to the grocery store and cooks dinner for her father and herself, thereby assuming the role of caretaker in their household. Although it’s clear Robert isn’t providing his daughter with the support she needs, nobody in the community comments on his failure as a parent, ultimately suggesting that women are expected to prioritize their loved ones’ needs, while men are free to wallow in their own despair and ignore their caretaking duties.

Nadia also encounters expectations surrounding caretaking and responsibility in her romantic relationship with Luke. When she gets pregnant with his child, she feels the weight of responsibility; “She was supposed to be the smart one,” Bennett writes. “She was supposed to understand that it only took one mistake and her future could be ripped away from her.” The idea that Nadia is supposed to “be the smart one” implies that Luke is granted the latitude to remain unconcerned about the “future” and making “mistakes.” In other words, society puts the burden on women—not men—to be responsible when it comes to pregnancy and caretaking.

Nadia feels like she has to be the “smart one” in her relationship with Luke, but Luke also makes her feel irresponsible and heartless for getting an abortion. Indeed, months after she gets the abortion—a procedure Luke provided the money for without protest—Luke tells her, “I didn’t want to kill our baby.” By using the word “kill,” he frames abortion as immoral, and he distances himself from the act by claiming that he never wanted to go through with the procedure in the first place. Removing himself from any responsibility related to Nadia’s abortion, Luke shames Nadia into feeling like she has failed to uphold her supposed duty as a woman to become a mother and caretaker.

By highlighting Nadia’s experience navigating the expectations society places on women, Bennett illustrates that women who try to act on their own behalf are often perceived as heartless and irresponsible. Men, on the other hand, are generally allowed to behave in the same way without attracting similar judgments. Whereas Nadia is scorned by her community after having an abortion, the general consensus about Luke—who got her pregnant—is that he’s “reckless” but, overall, not a “bad kid.” The disconnect between the way people judge Nadia and Luke illustrates how nobody expects Luke to take responsibility and become a father, but everybody seems to expect Nadia to give up her dreams of going to college in order to raise a child she doesn’t want. Bennett emphasizes that inequality often presents itself as a set of double standards—in this case, a double standard regarding the expectations people have when it comes to caretaking and responsibility.