Shinji’s complicated, indescribable emotions in this scene reflect the existential struggle that his feelings for Hatsue have set in motion. Shinji lives a life that has seemed full, happy, and enough: now, however, he finds himself worrying about his class status, his ability to provide, and his relationship to his work (and thus to nature itself). Shinji will have to face all of these complicated things and the attendant emotions they inspire as he embarks on his coming-of-age journey.