They Both Die at the End

They Both Die at the End

by

Adam Silvera

Mateo Torrez Character Analysis

Mateo is one of the novel’s protagonists; he’s an 18-year-old Puerto Rican teen. Mateo suffers from anxiety and keeps to himself as much as possible. He only has two real friends: Dad (who has been in a coma for two weeks) and his best friend, Lidia. Mateo spends much of his time on the blog CountDowners. He feels that he can do good by being there virtually for people on their last days. However, when Mateo receives his own call from Death-Cast, he realizes that connecting with people online isn’t enough—he has to connect in person while he still has the chance. This leads him to join the app Last Friend and to connect with Rufus, as he doesn’t want to burden Lidia with the news that he’s dying. Mateo is initially suspicious of Rufus—he views Rufus simply as a way for him to break out of his shell and become the person he’s always wanted to be. Inside, Mateo wants to be a fun-loving and carefree person, and with Rufus’s help, Mateo begins to be that person in real life. He starts to take risks and trust others, and he learns that playing it safe isn’t always the best way to go. As the day wears on, Mateo becomes increasingly braver—he finally agrees to ride on the back of Rufus’s bike, and he even willingly leaps off a 20-foot cliff into a pool at the Travel Arena. Throughout the day, Mateo holds onto a secret about himself that he only reveals after he finally sings in front of a crowd: he’s gay, and over the course of the day, he’s fallen in love with Rufus. Mateo desperately wants to come out to Dad before he dies, but he never gets the chance. Ultimately, Mateo always thinks of others before he thinks of himself. This is why he insists on burying a dead bird he finds, and his generosity ends up killing him—he dies when his stove explodes while he’s trying to make tea for himself and Rufus. Rufus believes that Mateo died having become the person he wanted to be: he was open and carefree, and he fell in love.

Mateo Torrez Quotes in They Both Die at the End

The They Both Die at the End quotes below are all either spoken by Mateo Torrez or refer to Mateo Torrez. For each quote, you can also see the other characters and themes related to it (each theme is indicated by its own dot and icon, like this one:
Mortality, Life, and Meaning Theme Icon
).
September 5, 2017: Mateo Torrez, 12:22 a.m. Quotes

Fast-forward five years when Death-Cast came into the picture and suddenly everyone was awake at their own funerals. Having the chance to say goodbye before you die is an incredible opportunity, but isn’t that time better spent actually living? Maybe I would feel differently if I could count on people showing up to my funeral. If I had more friends than I do fingers.

Related Characters: Mateo Torrez (speaker), Lidia, Dad
Page Number: 7
Explanation and Analysis:

The number one person I’ll miss the most is Future Mateo, who maybe loosened up and lived.

Related Characters: Mateo Torrez (speaker)
Page Number: 9
Explanation and Analysis:
Mateo, 1:52 a.m. Quotes

But I was wrong, go figure. This is exactly the person I always wanted to be—loose, fun, carefree. No one will look at this photo and think it was out of character, because none of these people know me, and their only expectations of me are to be the person I’m presenting myself as in my profile.

Related Characters: Mateo Torrez (speaker), Rufus Emeterio
Related Symbols: Photos
Page Number: 46
Explanation and Analysis:
Mateo, 3:14 a.m. Quotes

Rufus E. (3:19 a.m.): Hey, Mateo. Nice hat.

He not only responded, but he likes my Luigi hat from my profile picture. He’s already connecting to the person I want to become.

Related Characters: Mateo Torrez (speaker), Rufus Emeterio (speaker), Lidia
Related Symbols: Photos
Page Number: 74
Explanation and Analysis:
Mateo, 4:26 a.m. Quotes

But I wasn’t honest with Rufus because, on a deep level, I do believe partying on the train is my kind of scene. It’s just that the fear of disappointing others or making a fool of myself always wins.

Related Characters: Mateo Torrez (speaker), Rufus Emeterio, Lidia
Page Number: 109
Explanation and Analysis:
Mateo, 4:58 a.m. Quotes

“I think we made his day by not pretending he’s invisible.”

Related Characters: Mateo Torrez (speaker), Rufus Emeterio, The Homeless Man
Page Number: 126
Explanation and Analysis:
Mateo, 6:14 a.m. Quotes

This is Penny’s beginning. And one day she’ll find herself on the terrible end of a Death-Cast call and it sucks how we’re all being raised to die. Yes, we live, or we’re given the chance to, at least, but sometimes living is hard and complicated because of fear.

Related Characters: Mateo Torrez (speaker), Lidia, Penny
Page Number: 150
Explanation and Analysis:
Mateo, 7:22 a.m. Quotes

I believe him. He’s not monstrous. Monsters don’t come to your home to help you live; they trap you in your bed and eat you alive. “People make mistakes,” I say.

“And my friends are the ones being punished,” Rufus says. “Their last memory of me will be running out the back door from my own funeral because the cops were coming for me. I left them behind... I’ve spent the last four months feeling abandoned by my family dying, and in a split second I did the same damn thing to my new family.”

Related Characters: Mateo Torrez (speaker), Rufus Emeterio (speaker), Aimee Dubois, Malcolm Anthony, Peck/Patrick Gavin, Tagoe Hayes, Vin Pearce, Rufus’s Parents, Olivia
Page Number: 173
Explanation and Analysis:
Rufus, 7:53 a.m. Quotes

I don’t know if he’s playing it off like he doesn’t know this from my Last Friend profile or if he’s impacted by this piece of history between me and my sister or if he overlooked this on my profile and is some ass who cares about who other people kiss. I hope not. We’re friends now, hands down, and it’s not forced. I met this kid a few years ago because some creative designer somewhere developed an app to forge connections. I’d hate to disconnect.

Related Characters: Rufus Emeterio (speaker), Mateo Torrez, Dalma Young, Olivia
Page Number: 176
Explanation and Analysis:
Mateo, 11:32 a.m. Quotes

“I think we’re already dead, dude. Not everyone, just Deckers. The whole Death-Cast thing seems too fantasy to be true. Knowing when our last day is going down so we can live it right: Straight-up fantasy. The first afterlife kicks off when Death-Cast tells us to live out our day knowing it’s our last; that way we’ll take full advantage of it, thinking we’re still alive. Then we enter the next and final afterlife without any regrets.”

Related Characters: Rufus Emeterio (speaker), Mateo Torrez, Andrea Donahue
Page Number: 214
Explanation and Analysis:
Mateo, 12:22 p.m. Quotes

Twelve hours ago I received the phone call telling me I’m going to die today. In my own Mateo way, I’ve said tons of goodbyes already [...] but the most important goodbye is the one I said to Past Mateo, who I left behind at home when my Last Friend accompanied me into a world that has it out for us. Rufus has done so much for me and I’m here to help him confront any demons following him [...]

Related Characters: Mateo Torrez (speaker), Rufus Emeterio, Lidia, Dad, Mateo’s Mom
Page Number: 227
Explanation and Analysis:
Mateo, 12:58 p.m. Quotes

I buy the mystery book and the postcards, thank Joel for his help, and we leave. Rufus said the key to his relationships was speaking up. I can do this with the postcards, but I have to use my voice, too.

Related Characters: Mateo Torrez (speaker), Rufus Emeterio, Joel
Page Number: 239
Explanation and Analysis:
Deirdre Clayton, 1:50 p.m. Quotes

Deirdre reaches deep within herself, far past the place where lies and hopelessness come easily, and even beneath the very honest truth where she’s okay with the impacting the relief that comes with flying off this roof. She sees two boys living and this makes her feel less dead inside.

Intent may not be enough to cause her to actually die, she knows this from the countless other mornings when she’s woken up to ugliness, but when faced with the chance to prove Death-Cast wrong, Deirdre makes the right decision and lives.

Related Characters: Mateo Torrez, Rufus Emeterio, Deirdre
Page Number: 248
Explanation and Analysis:
Mateo, 3:26 p.m. Quotes

“Welcome to the World Travel Arena. Sorry to lose you three.”

“I’m not dying,” Lidia corrects.

“Oh. Cost for guests is going to be one hundred dollars,” the teller says. He looks at me and Rufus. “Suggested donation is one dollar for Deckers.”

I pay for all our tickets, donating an extra couple hundred dollars in the hope that the arena remains open for many, many years.

Related Characters: Mateo Torrez (speaker), Lidia (speaker), Rufus Emeterio, Victor, Deirdre
Page Number: 281
Explanation and Analysis:
Mateo, 5:14 p.m. Quotes

“I know there’s no time to waste, but I had to be sure you are who I thought you were. The best thing about dying is your friendship.” I never thought I would find someone I could say words like this to.

Related Characters: Mateo Torrez (speaker), Rufus Emeterio, Dad, Mateo’s Mom
Related Symbols: Mateo’s Birth
Page Number: 308
Explanation and Analysis:
Howie Maldonado, 5:23 p.m. Quotes

“What would’ve made you happy?” Delilah asks.

Love comes to mind, immediately, and it surprises him like a lightning bolt on a day with clear forecasts. Howie never felt lonely, because he could go online at any moment and find himself flooded with messages. But affection from millions and intimacy from that one special person are completely different beasts.

Related Characters: Delilah Gray (speaker), Mateo Torrez, Howie Maldonado, Sandy Guerrero
Page Number: 313
Explanation and Analysis:
Mateo, 5:48 p.m. Quotes

“What am I going to do without you?”

This loaded question is the reason I didn’t want anyone to know I was dying. There are questions I can’t answer. I cannot tell you how you will survive without me. I cannot tell you how to mourn me. I cannot convince you to not feel guilty if you forget the anniversary of my death, or if you realize days or weeks or months have gone by without thinking about me.

I just want you to live.

Related Characters: Mateo Torrez (speaker), Lidia (speaker)
Page Number: 322-23
Explanation and Analysis:
Mateo, 7:34 p.m. Quotes

“I always wanted to stumble into someone like you and it sucks that I had to find you through a stupid app.”

“I like the Last Friend app. [...] I think the app puts you out there more than anything else. For me, it meant admitting I was lonely and wanted to connect with someone.”

Related Characters: Mateo Torrez (speaker), Rufus Emeterio (speaker)
Page Number: 340
Explanation and Analysis:
Get the entire They Both Die at the End LitChart as a printable PDF.
They Both Die at the End PDF

Mateo Torrez Quotes in They Both Die at the End

The They Both Die at the End quotes below are all either spoken by Mateo Torrez or refer to Mateo Torrez. For each quote, you can also see the other characters and themes related to it (each theme is indicated by its own dot and icon, like this one:
Mortality, Life, and Meaning Theme Icon
).
September 5, 2017: Mateo Torrez, 12:22 a.m. Quotes

Fast-forward five years when Death-Cast came into the picture and suddenly everyone was awake at their own funerals. Having the chance to say goodbye before you die is an incredible opportunity, but isn’t that time better spent actually living? Maybe I would feel differently if I could count on people showing up to my funeral. If I had more friends than I do fingers.

Related Characters: Mateo Torrez (speaker), Lidia, Dad
Page Number: 7
Explanation and Analysis:

The number one person I’ll miss the most is Future Mateo, who maybe loosened up and lived.

Related Characters: Mateo Torrez (speaker)
Page Number: 9
Explanation and Analysis:
Mateo, 1:52 a.m. Quotes

But I was wrong, go figure. This is exactly the person I always wanted to be—loose, fun, carefree. No one will look at this photo and think it was out of character, because none of these people know me, and their only expectations of me are to be the person I’m presenting myself as in my profile.

Related Characters: Mateo Torrez (speaker), Rufus Emeterio
Related Symbols: Photos
Page Number: 46
Explanation and Analysis:
Mateo, 3:14 a.m. Quotes

Rufus E. (3:19 a.m.): Hey, Mateo. Nice hat.

He not only responded, but he likes my Luigi hat from my profile picture. He’s already connecting to the person I want to become.

Related Characters: Mateo Torrez (speaker), Rufus Emeterio (speaker), Lidia
Related Symbols: Photos
Page Number: 74
Explanation and Analysis:
Mateo, 4:26 a.m. Quotes

But I wasn’t honest with Rufus because, on a deep level, I do believe partying on the train is my kind of scene. It’s just that the fear of disappointing others or making a fool of myself always wins.

Related Characters: Mateo Torrez (speaker), Rufus Emeterio, Lidia
Page Number: 109
Explanation and Analysis:
Mateo, 4:58 a.m. Quotes

“I think we made his day by not pretending he’s invisible.”

Related Characters: Mateo Torrez (speaker), Rufus Emeterio, The Homeless Man
Page Number: 126
Explanation and Analysis:
Mateo, 6:14 a.m. Quotes

This is Penny’s beginning. And one day she’ll find herself on the terrible end of a Death-Cast call and it sucks how we’re all being raised to die. Yes, we live, or we’re given the chance to, at least, but sometimes living is hard and complicated because of fear.

Related Characters: Mateo Torrez (speaker), Lidia, Penny
Page Number: 150
Explanation and Analysis:
Mateo, 7:22 a.m. Quotes

I believe him. He’s not monstrous. Monsters don’t come to your home to help you live; they trap you in your bed and eat you alive. “People make mistakes,” I say.

“And my friends are the ones being punished,” Rufus says. “Their last memory of me will be running out the back door from my own funeral because the cops were coming for me. I left them behind... I’ve spent the last four months feeling abandoned by my family dying, and in a split second I did the same damn thing to my new family.”

Related Characters: Mateo Torrez (speaker), Rufus Emeterio (speaker), Aimee Dubois, Malcolm Anthony, Peck/Patrick Gavin, Tagoe Hayes, Vin Pearce, Rufus’s Parents, Olivia
Page Number: 173
Explanation and Analysis:
Rufus, 7:53 a.m. Quotes

I don’t know if he’s playing it off like he doesn’t know this from my Last Friend profile or if he’s impacted by this piece of history between me and my sister or if he overlooked this on my profile and is some ass who cares about who other people kiss. I hope not. We’re friends now, hands down, and it’s not forced. I met this kid a few years ago because some creative designer somewhere developed an app to forge connections. I’d hate to disconnect.

Related Characters: Rufus Emeterio (speaker), Mateo Torrez, Dalma Young, Olivia
Page Number: 176
Explanation and Analysis:
Mateo, 11:32 a.m. Quotes

“I think we’re already dead, dude. Not everyone, just Deckers. The whole Death-Cast thing seems too fantasy to be true. Knowing when our last day is going down so we can live it right: Straight-up fantasy. The first afterlife kicks off when Death-Cast tells us to live out our day knowing it’s our last; that way we’ll take full advantage of it, thinking we’re still alive. Then we enter the next and final afterlife without any regrets.”

Related Characters: Rufus Emeterio (speaker), Mateo Torrez, Andrea Donahue
Page Number: 214
Explanation and Analysis:
Mateo, 12:22 p.m. Quotes

Twelve hours ago I received the phone call telling me I’m going to die today. In my own Mateo way, I’ve said tons of goodbyes already [...] but the most important goodbye is the one I said to Past Mateo, who I left behind at home when my Last Friend accompanied me into a world that has it out for us. Rufus has done so much for me and I’m here to help him confront any demons following him [...]

Related Characters: Mateo Torrez (speaker), Rufus Emeterio, Lidia, Dad, Mateo’s Mom
Page Number: 227
Explanation and Analysis:
Mateo, 12:58 p.m. Quotes

I buy the mystery book and the postcards, thank Joel for his help, and we leave. Rufus said the key to his relationships was speaking up. I can do this with the postcards, but I have to use my voice, too.

Related Characters: Mateo Torrez (speaker), Rufus Emeterio, Joel
Page Number: 239
Explanation and Analysis:
Deirdre Clayton, 1:50 p.m. Quotes

Deirdre reaches deep within herself, far past the place where lies and hopelessness come easily, and even beneath the very honest truth where she’s okay with the impacting the relief that comes with flying off this roof. She sees two boys living and this makes her feel less dead inside.

Intent may not be enough to cause her to actually die, she knows this from the countless other mornings when she’s woken up to ugliness, but when faced with the chance to prove Death-Cast wrong, Deirdre makes the right decision and lives.

Related Characters: Mateo Torrez, Rufus Emeterio, Deirdre
Page Number: 248
Explanation and Analysis:
Mateo, 3:26 p.m. Quotes

“Welcome to the World Travel Arena. Sorry to lose you three.”

“I’m not dying,” Lidia corrects.

“Oh. Cost for guests is going to be one hundred dollars,” the teller says. He looks at me and Rufus. “Suggested donation is one dollar for Deckers.”

I pay for all our tickets, donating an extra couple hundred dollars in the hope that the arena remains open for many, many years.

Related Characters: Mateo Torrez (speaker), Lidia (speaker), Rufus Emeterio, Victor, Deirdre
Page Number: 281
Explanation and Analysis:
Mateo, 5:14 p.m. Quotes

“I know there’s no time to waste, but I had to be sure you are who I thought you were. The best thing about dying is your friendship.” I never thought I would find someone I could say words like this to.

Related Characters: Mateo Torrez (speaker), Rufus Emeterio, Dad, Mateo’s Mom
Related Symbols: Mateo’s Birth
Page Number: 308
Explanation and Analysis:
Howie Maldonado, 5:23 p.m. Quotes

“What would’ve made you happy?” Delilah asks.

Love comes to mind, immediately, and it surprises him like a lightning bolt on a day with clear forecasts. Howie never felt lonely, because he could go online at any moment and find himself flooded with messages. But affection from millions and intimacy from that one special person are completely different beasts.

Related Characters: Delilah Gray (speaker), Mateo Torrez, Howie Maldonado, Sandy Guerrero
Page Number: 313
Explanation and Analysis:
Mateo, 5:48 p.m. Quotes

“What am I going to do without you?”

This loaded question is the reason I didn’t want anyone to know I was dying. There are questions I can’t answer. I cannot tell you how you will survive without me. I cannot tell you how to mourn me. I cannot convince you to not feel guilty if you forget the anniversary of my death, or if you realize days or weeks or months have gone by without thinking about me.

I just want you to live.

Related Characters: Mateo Torrez (speaker), Lidia (speaker)
Page Number: 322-23
Explanation and Analysis:
Mateo, 7:34 p.m. Quotes

“I always wanted to stumble into someone like you and it sucks that I had to find you through a stupid app.”

“I like the Last Friend app. [...] I think the app puts you out there more than anything else. For me, it meant admitting I was lonely and wanted to connect with someone.”

Related Characters: Mateo Torrez (speaker), Rufus Emeterio (speaker)
Page Number: 340
Explanation and Analysis: