They Both Die at the End: Mateo, 3:42 a.m. Summary & Analysis

Mateo stops pacing when he hears a knock at the door—he hopes that it’s actually Rufus and that Rufus is alone. He squints through the peephole and then opens the door. Rufus seems friendly and reminds Mateo that he’s on Mateo’s turf; he should be the one who’s worried, not Mateo. Rufus stands outside while Mateo grabs the notes for his neighbors and his keys. He drops a note off in front of Elliot’s apartment, explaining to Rufus that Elliot brought over food for him. He also drops one in front of Sean’s door—Sean was going to fix the broken stove. Rufus insists they take the stairs down because two Deckers have no business getting into an elevator. They carefully make their way down the stairs, and Rufus pushes the door open. Mateo is ready to go back upstairs, but he allows Rufus to pressure him to step out.

Mateo looks around, thinking that everything looks different now. Rufus grabs his bike and says they need a game plan—and bucket lists are pointless. Mateo says that Rufus sounds like a pro at dying and then, mortified, starts to feel a panic attack coming on. He nervously says that hanging out together doubles their chances of dying sooner, and he begins listing what-if scenarios. Rufus patiently humors Mateo for a few of them, but then insists that they could either talk about this or live. Mateo knows Rufus is right, but he reminds Rufus that knowing he’s dying isn’t going to make him suddenly fearless. Mateo says that he has to say goodbye to Dad and Lidia, and he heads for the subway. Rufus says he’s game and mentions his botched funeral, but he doesn’t elaborate.

Mateo spots a dead bird. He says they have to get it out of the street—he doesn’t think they should leave dead things. Rufus snappily says that he feels the same way. Mateo apologizes and explains that as a kid, he tried to shelter a baby bird that fell out of its nest—but Mateo had to give up because he got too cold, and he never figured out what happened to the bird. Rufus finds a newspaper to pick up the bird. He follows Mateo to the community garden to bury it. Mateo likes the idea of the bird resting here. Birds aren’t people, but they also fall in love and have families. Thoughts like these make people think Mateo is weird, so he keeps them inside. He sees a flash and notices Rufus taking a photo. Mateo says he hopes that someone is this kind to them when they’re dead.