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A social worker at Rosie’s hospital in Madison and a specialist in gender dysphoria. Mr. Tongo meets with Rosie and Penn throughout the book and helps them through the process of Claude’s transition to Poppy. Mr. Tongo is a pleasant and enthusiastic man who thinks everything is an occasion to celebrate. He congratulates Penn and Rosie when Claude begins to wear a dress, and when Poppy is unexpectedly outed and humiliated at school, Mr. Tongo cries: “Perfecto!” Mr. Tongo helps Penn and Rosie to understand that there is nothing wrong with Poppy, that she just sees herself differently than the world sees her, and he helps them to accept that Poppy is queer, something both Rosie and Penn deny for some time. Mr. Tongo educates Penn and Rosie about what to expect when Poppy gets to puberty, and he talks with them about medications like hormone blockers to ease Poppy’s struggles with gender dysphoria. Mr. Tongo also educates Rosie and Penn as to the other struggles transgender people face, such as rejection, discrimination, and violence, which leads to a high number of suicides. Some 40% of transgender teenagers have attempted suicide at least once, Mr. Tongo says, and Poppy’s life will not be easy. The character of Mr. Tongo underscores the challenges the transgender community faces, but he is also committed to educating people and helping others understand those challenges in hopes of correcting them.
Mr. Tongo Quotes in This Is How It Always Is
The This Is How It Always Is quotes below are all either spoken by Mr. Tongo or refer to Mr. Tongo. For each quote, you can also see the other characters and themes related to it (each theme is indicated by its own dot and icon, like this one:
).
Part II: Everyone Who?
Quotes
“Well, it certainly doesn’t sound like any else’s business, does it? Don’t think of Poppy as Claude under wraps. Think of Poppy as girl with a penis, a girl with an unusual medical history. Do you usually discuss what’s in children’s pants with the other moms on the playground?”
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Part II: Transformation
Quotes
“You know, it used to be there were no transgender kids. Your son would come to you in a dress, and you'd say, ‘No son of mine!’ or ‘Boys don't wear dresses!’ and that would be the end of it. That kid would grow up, and if he made it through childhood and if he made it through puberty and if he made it through young adulthood, maybe, if he were lucky, he’d eventually find his way to a community of people who understood what no one ever had, and he would slowly change his clothes and hair, and he would slowly change his name and pronouns, and he would slowly test the waters of being female, and over years and decades, he might become a she. Or he might kill himself long before he got there. The rate of suicide for these kids is over forty percent, you know.”
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Mr. Tongo Quotes in This Is How It Always Is
The This Is How It Always Is quotes below are all either spoken by Mr. Tongo or refer to Mr. Tongo. For each quote, you can also see the other characters and themes related to it (each theme is indicated by its own dot and icon, like this one:
).
Part II: Everyone Who?
Quotes
“Well, it certainly doesn’t sound like any else’s business, does it? Don’t think of Poppy as Claude under wraps. Think of Poppy as girl with a penis, a girl with an unusual medical history. Do you usually discuss what’s in children’s pants with the other moms on the playground?”
Related Characters:
Related Themes:
Page Number and Citation:
Explanation and Analysis:
Part II: Transformation
Quotes
“You know, it used to be there were no transgender kids. Your son would come to you in a dress, and you'd say, ‘No son of mine!’ or ‘Boys don't wear dresses!’ and that would be the end of it. That kid would grow up, and if he made it through childhood and if he made it through puberty and if he made it through young adulthood, maybe, if he were lucky, he’d eventually find his way to a community of people who understood what no one ever had, and he would slowly change his clothes and hair, and he would slowly change his name and pronouns, and he would slowly test the waters of being female, and over years and decades, he might become a she. Or he might kill himself long before he got there. The rate of suicide for these kids is over forty percent, you know.”
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Page Number and Citation:
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