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Part II: Parenting in the Dark
Themes
Key
LitCharts assigns a color and icon to each theme in This Is How It Always Is, which you can use to track the themes throughout the work.
Gender and Binaries
Secrets and Misunderstanding
Violence and Discrimination
Storytelling
Family
Summary
Analysis
The next day, Penn and Rosie go into Poppy’s room and are shocked to find her there as Claude. She is dressed in a pair sweatpants and Orion’s jersey, and she has shaved her head bald. Poppy begins to cry and refuses to ever go to school again.
Poppy is clearly traumatized by her experience at school. Shaving her head is extreme, as is reverting back to Claude. Poppy is giving up and resigning herself to look the way society says she should.
Themes
Poppy stays locked in her room for three days, and then there is a knock on the door. “Dude. It’s me,” Ben says. “Let me in.” Poppy asks why Ben called her “Dude,” and Ben says because that is what guys say to each other. “How’s it hangin?” Ben asks. How is what hanging, Poppy asks. Ben explains it is a saying that guys use with each other, and Poppy asks why they don’t ask “How are you?” Ben laughs. Talking like that will get a guy beat up, as will being too smart, too stupid, too cool, or too rich. “If you’re a guy,” Ben says, “someone’s going to beat you up.”
Ben’s talk with Poppy is awkward, especially the “Dude” part, because that is not who Poppy is, and referring to her in such a masculine way feels fundamentally wrong to her, and to Ben. Ben’s comment that all guys get beat up suggests it is difficult for everyone to find where they fit in the world, not just transgender people, which implies people have more in common than it may appear.
Themes
Poppy asks why Ben is telling her all this, and Ben says he is just trying to help her “be a boy,” but Poppy doesn’t believe him. Okay, Ben says, he has two points to make. His first point is that fitting in and being normal doesn’t happen for anyone. Ben has “matching genitalia,” he says, and he still doesn’t fit in. Ben’s second point, he says, is that Poppy is not a boy. Poppy says she is, but Ben stops her. He says she looks like someone who is going to seriously regret their hair choices, but she doesn’t look like a boy. Poppy says that she can’t be Poppy, and she can’t be Claude either. She isn’t anyone, Poppy says. Ben reminds her that everyone is somebody, but Poppy disagrees. “I’m nobody,” Poppy says. “I’m nobody too,” Ben says.
Again, Ben points out to Poppy that lots of people don’t fit in. As the smart kid that skipped the sixth grade, Ben is likely very used to not fitting in. Even Roo, who plays the flute and football doesn’t fit in in quite the way he is expected to. Ben’s talk with Poppy reflects his support of her as his sister, but his words also let her know that she is not the only one who is suffering. They are all suffering to some extent, and even Ben admits that he is “nobody, too.” For Poppy, however, since she isn’t accepted for who she is, she has no one else to be.
Themes
When Aggie comes to Poppy’s window, she doesn’t bother getting up, and she doesn’t get up when Aggie makes a crack about her hair. Aggie says Poppy lied to her, but Poppy doesn’t really see it that way. “Well,” Aggie says, starting to leave, “have a nice life I guess.” Poppy says Aggie hates her because she has a penis, but Aggie says she hates her because she didn’t tell her that she has a penis. Poppy says she was afraid Aggie wouldn’t like her if she knew, and Aggie says that is exactly why she hates her.
Aggie implies that Poppy didn’t trust her enough and that is why she hates her; however, Aggie said earlier on in their friendship that if Poppy had been born a boy, then they wouldn’t be able to be best friends and princesses. Aggie told Poppy long ago what would happen if she was a boy, and Poppy had no reason to believe it would be otherwise. In this case, at least, Poppy’s secret seems a bit more justified.
Themes
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