This Is How It Always Is

This Is How It Always Is

by

Laurie Frankel

This Is How It Always Is: Part II: Rival Neighbor Princess Summary & Analysis

Summary
Analysis
Rosie and Penn didn’t intend to keep Claude a secret, it just worked out that way. They arrived four years earlier, and Seattle couldn’t be more different than Madison. Their new house was built in 1906, the same year as their farmhouse, but that is the only similarity. The farmhouse was in the middle of nowhere, but city skyscrapers can be seen from the new house. The house has several additions and the result is a bit strange. Orion’s room is on the second floor under an eave, and Rigel’s room has a trapdoor that leads to the linen closet. The stairs to Poppy’s turret are in Rosie and Penn’s room, and Ben and Roo share the basement, which Ben has divided into several smaller rooms and hideouts. From the outside it looks like a normal house, but on the inside it is a little strange. “Like me,” Poppy says.
Just as Poppy points out, the house is like her—normal looking on the outside, strange on the inside—but Frankel implies that the house is like all of them. Several of the characters point out that Poppy is not the only “weird” one. Everyone in Poppy’s family is a bit odd, and the house, with its trapdoors and secret passageways, reflects their eccentricities. Poppy’s friends, too, are weird, which implies that everybody is a bit weird in some way or another.
Themes
Secrets and Misunderstanding Theme Icon
Family Theme Icon
On Rosie’s first day alone in the house, there is a knock on the door, and she is a bit irritated at the interruption. It is the neighbors, Marginny and Frank Granderson, and they have come to introduce themselves. Marginny and Frank are warm and friendly, and they ask Rosie if she moved to the area alone. Goodness no, Rosie says, explaining that she has a husband and five kids. “Wow,” Marginny says, “I bet you’re from the Midwest.” Marginny and Frank have two girls: Cayenne is in the eighth grade, and Aggie is going into first. Rosie says she has five boys but stops herself. “It’s a long story,” Rosie says, and before she knows it, she is telling Marginny and Frank the whole story about Poppy
People in the novel are constantly making assumptions about Rosie based on how many kids she has. Here, Marginny assumes Rosie is Midwestern because she has five kids, and earlier in the novel, Rosie is asked if she is Catholic because she has five kids. How many kids Rosie has is no one’s business but her own. Clearly, Marginny does not mean to offend Rosie with her comment, but it is still evidence of how women are treated in a sexist society. No one says anything to Penn about how many kids he has.
Themes
Gender and Binaries  Theme Icon
Secrets and Misunderstanding Theme Icon
Violence and Discrimination Theme Icon
Frank says he saw a drag show once and asks Rosie if that is what raising Poppy is like. No, Rosie says, it is nothing like that. Suddenly, the back door opens, and Penn and the children pour in. Marginny quickly introduces herself to Penn, and then she invites them to a barbeque the next day. Rosie thinks about how exhausting that sounds, but before she can say anything, Penn accepts. 
Transgender girls and women are often compared to drag queens in the novel, which again reflects the widespread misunderstanding and ignorance about the transgender community. Transgender women and girls cannot be reduced to drag queens and to do so is offensive, even if Frank doesn’t mean it that way.  
Themes
Gender and Binaries  Theme Icon
Violence and Discrimination Theme Icon
The next day at the barbeque, Marginny approaches Penn and Rosie. Marginny doesn’t mean to apologize for Frank and the drag queen comment, but she does want them to know that he didn’t mean to offend them. He was simply caught off guard, Marginny says, but Rosie tells her not to worry about it. Rosie clearly has to work on talking to people about Poppy, she says. Marginny tells Rosie and Penn that she and Frank have decided not to tell their kids about Poppy. If the point is for Poppy to live as a girl, Marginny doesn’t see the point in telling her kids that Poppy isn’t a girl. Anyway, Marginny says, she just wanted to let Rosie know.
Marginny makes a point to say that she is not apologizing for Frank, through which Frankel seems to be implying that she shouldn’t have to apologize. Initial conversations regarding gender are bound to be awkward. Such subjects are touchy, and they make people nervous and worried about offending others. These conversations will never be perfect, Frankel implies, and that is okay.
Themes
Gender and Binaries  Theme Icon
Secrets and Misunderstanding Theme Icon
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This Is How It Always Is PDF
Penn is surprised that Rosie told Marginny and Frank about Poppy. Rosie apologizes, but she didn’t know what to say. Penn agrees that it is difficult to know exactly what to do. He asks how they are supposed to tell the difference between the Cindy Calcuttis of the world and the Nick Calcuttis, but Rosie says there is no way they can know. Maybe keeping Claude a secret is the right thing to do. Then, Poppy can just be Poppy for a change. Poppy approaches and stands shyly at Penn’s side. Frank comes over and asks if Poppy would like to meet his daughter, Aggie. Poppy and Aggie hit it off immediately and run up to Aggie’s room to play. As Rosie is on her second glass of wine, a woman says Rosie must have been very happy to finally have a girl. “We were thrilled,” Rosie says dryly, “Just thrilled.”
Rosie’s sarcastic response that she is “thrilled” to finally have a daughter underscores how often people make assumptions about the gender of others. The woman likely thinks her comment is harmless and it isn’t meant to be offensive, but it only serves to further alienate Poppy and her family. Gendered comments such as this are common and frequent, and for someone like Rosie, who must live with them every day, it is likely tiring to always have someone pointing out, even inadvertently, that she is different.
Themes
Gender and Binaries  Theme Icon
Secrets and Misunderstanding Theme Icon
Violence and Discrimination Theme Icon
That night, as Rosie and Penn tuck Poppy into bed, she talks excitedly about her new friends. No one knows about Claude here, Poppy says, and it is nice not to have to pretend. Penn agrees. No one here knows who Poppy really is, he says, but Poppy disagrees. They know exactly who she is, Poppy says. Suddenly, there is a sound outside Poppy’s window. From the window, Poppy can see Aggie in her own window. “Hi,” Aggie says. Their rooms are close, and they can be “rival princesses in neighboring castles.” They can pass notes, Poppy says eagerly. Yes, Aggie says, and they will be the best of friends and tell each other all their secrets.
Obviously, Poppy and Aggie won’t be telling each other all their secrets, especially since Aggie’s parents have decided to keep Poppy’s gender from Aggie. Claude was a mask, or a costume, and now that Poppy’s friends only know her as Poppy, they finally know who Poppy really is and how she sees herself. Aggie’s language reflects how pervasive gender is in everyday language. They will be “rival princesses,” Aggie says, which again draws attention to gender.
Themes
Gender and Binaries  Theme Icon
Secrets and Misunderstanding Theme Icon