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Chapter 20
Themes
Key
LitCharts assigns a color and icon to each theme in To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before, which you can use to track the themes throughout the work.
Family, Responsibility, and Growing Up
Love and Fear
Social Structure, Reputation, and High School
Lies vs. Honesty
Summary
Analysis
Chris calls Lara Jean and as soon as Lara Jean picks up, she asks if she really kissed Peter Kavinsky “like a maniac.” Lara Jean can’t decide if she wants to lie or tell the truth; the truth is so embarrassing. She admits she kissed him, and Chris notes that Genevieve will come after Lara Jean now—she still “thinks she owns his ass.” Chris promises to try to protect Lara Jean, but Lara Jean is still frightened. Once Chris hangs up, Lara Jean thinks that Margot would think the letters were pointless, though Margot would also help Lara Jean figure out how to deal with this. But Lara Jean can’t tell Margot anything.
Again, the fact that Lara Jean has to think so hard about whether to lie or tell the truth to Chris shows how much she relies on lying. Deciding whether to lie seems like a normal part of her thought process. Choosing not to tell Margot about this debacle is, in its own way, a lie of omission—which suggests that later, Lara Jean is going to have to deal with the consequences of not telling Margot. Chris makes it clear that kissing Peter is going to come with consequences, potentially very bad ones, given how popular and powerful Genevieve is.
Themes
A while later, Lara Jean invites Kitty to play a game, but Kitty says she’s going to a birthday sleepover. Kitty wants to know what crepes are (the birthday girl’s mom is making crepes for breakfast) and then dashes off to find her pajamas. Lara Jean cuddles one of Kitty’s stuffed animals and mopes; even her little sister has Friday night plans. Once Kitty leaves, Lara Jean throws herself into organizing her shoes and writing Margot a letter. She only writes about inconsequential things. As she writes, Lara Jean wishes she had more friends. Maybe if she weren’t so lonely, she wouldn’t have kissed Peter and told Josh Peter was her boyfriend.
Margot’s absence makes it even clearer to Lara Jean that she’d be happier with more people to rely on. Leaning on Margot was great while Margot was around, but now, Lara Jean doesn’t feel able to trust Margot with her current secret. And though Lara Jean’s relationship with Chris is fulfilling in its own way, she implies that having one friend outside of her nuclear family isn’t enough to fulfill her. With this, Lara Jean identifies one way that she can improve her happiness going forward.
Themes
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