I, Being born a Woman and Distressed Summary & Analysis
by Edna St. Vincent Millay

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The Full Text of “I, Being born a Woman and Distressed (Sonnet 41)”

1I, being born a woman and distressed

2By all the needs and notions of my kind,

3Am urged by your propinquity to find

4Your person fair, and feel a certain zest

5To bear your body’s weight upon my breast:

6So subtly is the fume of life designed,

7To clarify the pulse and cloud the mind,

8And leave me once again undone, possessed.

9Think not for this, however, the poor treason

10Of my stout blood against my staggering brain,

11I shall remember you with love, or season

12My scorn with pity,—let me make it plain:

13I find this frenzy insufficient reason

14For conversation when we meet again.

  • “I, Being born a Woman and Distressed (Sonnet 41)” Introduction

    • "I, Being born a Woman and Distressed" is a sonnet written by Pulitzer Prize-winning poet and playwright Edna St. Vincent Millay. Millay published "I, Being born a Woman and Distressed" in her collection The Harp-Weaver, and Other Poems in 1923. In the poem, Millay separates lust from rationality and, even, affection. Lust, Millay's speaker makes clear, can exist without either—a rather radical opinion for a female writer to take at the time. Although the poem is written using a classic form, its frank portrayal of lust and women's sexuality subverts many traditional expectations for sonnets as well as for depictions of women.

  • “I, Being born a Woman and Distressed (Sonnet 41)” Summary

    • Given that I'm a woman—and, as such, afflicted by all the various ideas and desires that women can't help but have—I'm attracted to you when you're physically close to me, and I long to feel the weight of your body on top of my own. Lust, that smoke of life, has been cunningly designed to quicken heartbeats, to make people's brains foggy, and to unravel my defenses and take me over. However, don't think that just because my passionate body has betrayed my weakening mind that I will ever have any love for you. My lust will never dampen the disdain I have for you. Let's be totally clear: this lustful excitement is not enough of a reason for me to even speak to you the next time we meet.

  • “I, Being born a Woman and Distressed (Sonnet 41)” Themes

    • Theme Lust vs. Reason

      Lust vs. Reason

      In “‘I, being born a woman and distressed,’” a female speaker addresses someone she lusts after. The speaker is filled with sexual attraction whenever this person is nearby, “possessed” by her bodily desires despite the fact that she doesn’t seem to actually like this individual all that much. In fact, she calls her lust “treason” against her “staggering brain”—meaning that her sexual desires are a betrayal of her rational mind, which doesn’t crave any sort of emotional intimacy with this person. Though the speaker makes clear that she won’t act on this physical attraction, the poem thus implicitly argues that passion is often irrational and that sexual desire isn’t always coupled with love.

      The speaker begins by acknowledging her physical longing for this potential lover. She can’t help but find this person attractive and imagine this person’s body pressing down on her own. Whenever this person is around, her “pulse” quickens and her mind grows foggy, implying that her thoughts are clouded by her physical longing; she isn’t doing this on purpose or choosing to have these feelings. Her body, it seems, has a mind of its own.­­­

      Indeed, the speaker insists that her passionate lust butts heads with her rationality. The speaker is “possessed” by her lust, which pits her “stout blood against [her] staggering brain.” Blood here represents the speaker’s sexual desires, while the brain represents her intellect. The speaker’s blood is “stout,” or strong and sturdy, while her brain is “staggering,” or unsteady, in the face of her lust. Again, then, the speaker makes clear that her passion isn’t based on any sort of careful thinking or consideration; it’s something with no basis in reason—nor, indeed, in any form of love.

      To that end, the speaker insists that she doesn’t want emotional closeness, and that her lust has no effect on her “scorn,” or disdain, for this person. She bluntly says that her desires won’t make her remember this person with “love” or even “pity.” The speaker’s lustful “frenzy”—or madness—is “insufficient reason” for her to even speak to this person again! Physical desire for the speaker thus has nothing to do with reason nor emotional connection. This was a bold statement for a woman writing at the time, and a subversive assertion of the difference between lust and love—of the battle between the body and the mind.

    • Theme Women’s Sexuality and Desire

      Women’s Sexuality and Desire

      Even as the poem’s speaker refuses to give into her desires, she frankly acknowledges her physical lust without hesitation or shame. Indeed, the poem presents lust as something powerful and natural (albeit frequently irrational). The poem thus challenges traditional depictions of women as chaste and pure vessels devoid of sexual feelings, and also rejects the sinful or shameful associations with lust.

      The speaker acknowledges—rather cheekily—that she is a “woman” who is “distressed” by various “needs and notions of [her] kind.” “Notions” are trivial, whimsical ideas, usually without a rational basis. The speaker is deliberately playing into the stereotype of women as being uniquely susceptible to silly desires—an idea the poem will ultimately reject.

      The speaker also makes clear from the start that her desires are far from chaste or platonic, taking care to detail the physical nature of her lust. The speaker wants this person’s “body’s weight upon [her] breast.” The speaker’s desire is undeniably sexual, yet the speaker does not indicate any shame about this. Instead, she suggests that lust is natural and expected. She describes lust as “the fume of life.” A “fume” is a strong odor or vapor given off by a particular object or being, and this comparison suggests that sexuality is an inherent and natural product of “life.” Moreover, lust has been purposefully “designed,” presumably by God, to affect one’s “mind” or reason. If lust is “designed” by God, there should be nothing shameful or sinful about it.

      The poem’s assertion of lust as a natural experience for the female speaker overturns stereotypical beliefs about female sexuality, and the lack thereof. At the same time, the speaker never gives in to her desires. She remains in full possession of her reason and intellect despite such powerful lust. Women, the poem thus implies, are hardly the so-called weaker sex, nor are they more “distressed” than men when it comes to desire. The poem ultimately rejects any sort of binary idea of women as being either virginal or wanton—insisting at once that women are sexual beings, and that they are perfectly capable of controlling their sexual desires when they want to.

  • Line-by-Line Explanation & Analysis of “I, Being born a Woman and Distressed (Sonnet 41)”

    • Lines 1-2

      I, being born a woman and distressed
      By all the needs and notions of my kind,

      The first two lines of the poem establish the speaker's cheeky tone. In the first line, the speaker clearly asserts that she is a woman. The alliteration of hard /b/ sounds in "being" and "born" emphasizes the speaker's declarative statement of her womanhood. The speaker then goes onto admit to being "distressed." To be "distressed" is to be suffering or under great strain—but readers don't yet know why the speaker is feeling this way. The enjambment at the end of line 1 creates a beat of suspense, encouraging the reader to continue on.

      In line 2, the speaker elaborates that she is suffering from "all the needs and notions of [her] kind." "[N]otions" are trivial and whimsical ideas, often without a rational basis. Society has often trivialized women as needy and irrational creatures. Rather than outright denying this, the speaker surprisingly admits to these faults; as the poem goes on, however, it will become clear that the speaker is being tongue-in-cheek. The consonance of soft /n/ sounds in "needs," "notions," and "kind" plays into associations of softness and weakness with femininity.

      "I, Being born a Woman and Distressed" is written in the form of a traditional 14-line Italian sonnet. As such, the first two lines are written in iambic pentameter, as is conventional of the sonnet form. Iambic pentameter is composed of five iambs, poetic feet consisting of an unstressed-stressed syllable pattern:

      I, being born a woman and distressed
      By all the needs and notions of my kind,

      Although the poem initially appears to follow traditional conventions in terms of form and meter, the poem ends up subverting these conventions—just as it ends up subverting conventional ideas of womanhood.

    • Lines 3-4

      Am urged by your propinquity to find
      Your person fair,

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    • Lines 4-5

      and feel a certain zest
      To bear your body’s weight upon my breast:

    • Lines 6-8

      So subtly is the fume of life designed,
      To clarify the pulse and cloud the mind,
      And leave me once again undone, possessed.

    • Lines 9-10

      Think not for this, however, the poor treason
      Of my stout blood against my staggering brain,

    • Lines 11-12

      I shall remember you with love, or season
      My scorn with pity,—

    • Lines 12-14

      let me make it plain:
      I find this frenzy insufficient reason
      For conversation when we meet again.

  • “I, Being born a Woman and Distressed (Sonnet 41)” Symbols

    • Symbol Blood

      Blood

      The poem leans on common symbolic associations between blood and passion. Blood is, of course, a vital bodily fluid necessary for life. With its heat and rich color, it's often used to connote intensity and vibrancy. In "I, Being born a Woman and Distressed," blood more specifically represents the speaker's primal sexual passion and lust.

      The speaker first alludes to blood in line 7, when she says that lust was "designed / To clarify the pulse." In other words, sexual excitement makes the speaker's heart beat faster and stronger, pumping more blood through her veins. In lines 9-10, lust possesses the speaker, so much so that her "blood," or sexual desires, are pitted against her "brain," or reason. The speaker's blood is described as "stout," suggesting a vigorous, robust, or substantial presence—and, in turn, conveying the strength and intensity of the speaker's passion. No wonder her brain, or rationality, is described as "staggering"—as unsteady and weak—in comparison.

  • “I, Being born a Woman and Distressed (Sonnet 41)” Poetic Devices & Figurative Language

    • Caesura

      Caesura occurs in six places in "I, Being born a Woman and Distressed." Millay uses caesura in order to play with the rhythm of the poem and provide additional emphasis on certain ideas or phrases. Millay also uses caesura in conjunction with asyndeton in order to create dramatic tension.

      In the first line of the poem, the speaker declares that she is a woman. The caesura created by the comma in line 1 slows down the reading here in order to emphasize the speaker's declaration. It creates a stressed beat on the word "I," forcefully asserting the speaker's presence in the poem. Sonnets are usually written in iambic pentameter, meaning readers would expect the poem's opening beat to be unstressed (da-DUM); that it is not foreshadows the subversion to come. Sonnets are also traditionally written from the point of view of a male speaker. "I, Being born a Woman and Distressed" has, of course, a female speaker, and the pause of the caesura also draws attention to this.

      In line 4, the speaker goes on to describe her attraction to another individual. She is affected by their physical proximity to one another, which increases the beauty of this individual in her eyes. The caesura in the middle of line 4 again slows the reading of the poem, drawing attention to the speaker's attraction and emphasizing her lust for this individual.

      Millay also uses caesura to resonate with the speaker's inner state of mind. In line 8, for example, the speaker describes the intensity of her lust, which leaves her "undone, possessed." Millay uses caesura with asyndeton to actually speed up the reading of the line by omitting any conjunctions. This speeding up of the line mirrors the speaker's agitated state of mind as her lust takes over her body.

      In line 12, the speaker makes clear her contempt for the other individual, before reiterating her opinion. The clear caesura in the middle of the line draws attention to the speaker's intense feelings of "scorn." The extended pause in the middle of the line also creates a sense of suspense and hope. One might hope that the speaker will change her mind or moderate her feelings on the other individual. However, in the lines following the caesura, the speaker makes "plain" that her opinions will never, in fact, change.

    • Enjambment

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    • Alliteration

    • Consonance

    • Assonance

    • Personification

    • Metaphor

    • Asyndeton

    • Antithesis

  • “I, Being born a Woman and Distressed (Sonnet 41)” Vocabulary

    Select any word below to get its definition in the context of the poem. The words are listed in the order in which they appear in the poem.

    • Distressed
    • Notions
    • Urged
    • Propinquity
    • Zest
    • Fume
    • Clarify
    • Treason
    • Stout
    • Staggering
    • Season
    • Scorn
    • Frenzy
    • Insufficient
    Distressed
    • Upset or worried; feeling anxious or strained. The speaker (sarcastically) admits that she is upset by the various anxieties that all women supposedly experience.

  • Form, Meter, & Rhyme Scheme of “I, Being born a Woman and Distressed (Sonnet 41)”

    • Form

      "I, Being born a Woman and Distressed" is written in the form of an Italian sonnet. Italian sonnets are composed of 14 lines and are typically broken down into an 8-line octave, followed by a 6-line sestet:

      • Octave
        • Quatrain
        • Quatrain
      • Sestet
        • Tercet
        • Tercet

      Traditionally, the octave presents the problem of the sonnet, while the sestet provides a resolution to that problem. Although "I, Being born a Woman and Distressed" is not broken up into separate octave and sestet stanzas, the poem's progression follows the traditional logic of these stanzas.

      In the octave, the speaker's problem is not the traditional problem of unrequited love, but rather her overwhelming lust for another individual. This lust is so great as to affect the speaker's reason. In the sestet, however, the speaker resolves this problem by reaffirming her rationality and reason over her lust.

      Sonnets were traditionally love poems, so Millay's use of the form here is important. She's following the conventions of the form while also subverting it by having her speaker be a sexually confident woman—a woman who insists she could never love her potential suitor, no less.

    • Meter

      "I, Being born a Woman and Distressed" is a 14-line Italian sonnet. Traditionally, Italian sonnets are written in iambic pentameter—meaning there are five iambs, five feet with a da-DUM rhythm, per line. The poem follows this meter, but with some variations. Take, for example, the very first line of the poem:

      I, be- | ing born | a wo- | man and | distressed

      That first foot is actually a spondee (stressed-stressed) thanks to the initial "I." The speaker is subtly asserting herself right from the get go. For the most part, though, the first eight lines—the sonnet's octave—are a pretty steady iambic pentameter.

      The beginning of the sestet, however, is also marked by a deviation in meter that reflects the sudden change in content and tone. Indeed, lines 9, 10, 11, and 13 all contain 11 syllables, rather than the 10 syllables of iambic pentameter. Here are lines 9-11:

      Think not | for this, | howe- | ver, the | poor treason
      Of
      my | stout blood | against | my stag- | gering brain,
      I shall | remem- | ber you | with love, | or season

      Some variations here are especially striking. The loud spondee of "stout blood," for example, reflects the strength of the speaker's passion. Overall, the break in the iambic rhythm here reflects the poem's content, the unsteady meter mirroring the "staggering" nature of the speaker's "brain," or reason.

    • Rhyme Scheme

      "I, Being born a Woman and Distressed" follows the rhyme scheme of an Italian sonnet:

      ABBAABBACDCDCD

      Millay never strays from this rigid rhyme scheme, keeping the poem squarely within the confines of its traditional form. The poem is, in part, about the speaker's self-possession and ability to control herself, and Millay here flexes her own muscles as a poet by perfectly following the form she's chosen—even as she subverts conventional depictions of women's sexuality in traditional sonnets.

  • “I, Being born a Woman and Distressed (Sonnet 41)” Speaker

    • The speaker of "I, Being born a Woman and Distressed" is an anonymous woman. The speaker could be the poet herself, but that is by no means definite.

      Nevertheless, the speaker is well aware of society's ideas regarding the supposed irrationality of her "kind" (that is, women). In the opening of the poem, the speaker seems to, albeit cheekily, admit to suffering from silly ideas and desires like every other woman.

      She is totally overwhelmed by her lust for another individual, to the point that her desires threaten to overtake her reason. However, the speaker's passionate lust still cannot quell her contempt for this other person. Indeed, the speaker's reason and strength of will still prevail over her lust; she refuses to even speak to the other person when they meet next.

      Therefore, by the end of the poem, the speaker makes clear that she, and—by implication—other women, are not the weak, irrational creatures that society believes they are. On the contrary, women can maintain their composure even when "possessed" by lust.

  • “I, Being born a Woman and Distressed (Sonnet 41)” Setting

    • The setting of "I, Being born a Woman and Distressed" is open-ended. Millay gives no indication whether the poem is set inside or outside a dwelling, or even the whereabouts of the speaker's particular geographical location. There are also no indications on whether the poem is set during a particular time period. What is clear, however, is that the speaker is physically present in the setting, along with the person she desires. Moreover, the speaker is close enough to directly address this other person. Indeed, the physical closeness of the other person increases the speaker's feelings of attraction and lust.

  • Literary and Historical Context of “I, Being born a Woman and Distressed (Sonnet 41)”

      Literary Context

      Millay published "I, Being born a Woman and Distressed" in her poetry collection The Harp-Weaver, and Other Poems in 1923. The 1920s were a time of exciting cultural and artistic upheaval in the U.S., with writers often mixing modern themes and subjects with more conventional forms (such as the sonnet, which Millay turns to here).

      While the aforementioned collection was published relatively early in Millay's long and decorated career, "I, Being born a Woman and Distressed" exhibits much of the style and thematic interests that would go on to define Millay's writing. Like much of her work, "I, Being born a Woman and Distressed" challenges and subverts societal stereotypes surrounding women, particularly regarding their sexuality. Millay frankly explored women's inner lives and desires in her work without hesitation or shame.

      Despite its subversive topics and themes, "I, Being born a Woman and Distressed," as noted above, is written in the very classic style of an Italian (sometimes called Petrarchan) sonnet—a form developed during the Renaissance. Sonnets, traditionally, were love poems; they also classically were written from the perspective of a male lover—two expectations Millay expertly undermines here. Indeed, Millay gained a reputation for writing formidable sonnets, and many of her most well-known poems, such as "What lips my lips have kissed, and where, and why" and "Love is Not All," are also sonnets.

      Millay's turn to classic poetic forms contrasted with much of the more experimental modernist poetry of her time, from the likes of people like T.S. Eliot. Millay was renowned for her work, however, winning the Pulitzer Prize for Poetry in 1923.

      Historical Context

      In 1923, America was in the midst of the "Roaring Twenties," a decade defined by economic prosperity and vast cultural changes. The 19th amendment, which granted women the right to vote, had been ratified just a few years earlier in 1920. Additionally, the wider use of inventions like automobiles and electricity provided many new personal freedoms to individuals.

      During this period of change, many people began to defy the stodgy moral standards of the past. From fashion to sexuality, women across the country were particularly interested in exploring and challenging convention. At the same time, their rights and societal expectations were still quite limiting compared to those of men. Millay herself was known for her feminist views and activism, and much of her work reflects her rebellious spirit.

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