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The Full Text of “As I Grew Older”
1It was a long time ago.
2I have almost forgotten my dream.
3But it was there then,
4In front of me,
5Bright like a sun,—
6My dream.
7And then the wall rose,
8Rose slowly,
9Slowly,
10Between me and my dream.
11Rose slowly, slowly,
12Dimming,
13Hiding,
14The light of my dream.
15Rose until it touched the sky,—
16The wall.
17Shadow.
18I am black.
19I lie down in the shadow.
20No longer the light of my dream before me,
21Above me.
22Only the thick wall.
23Only the shadow.
24My hands!
25My dark hands!
26Break through the wall!
27Find my dream!
28Help me to shatter this darkness,
29To smash this night,
30To break this shadow
31Into a thousand lights of sun,
32Into a thousand whirling dreams
33Of sun!
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“As I Grew Older” Introduction
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"As I Grew Older" appears in Langston Hughes's first collection of poems, The Weary Blues (1926), one of the landmark books of the Harlem Renaissance. Its intense, symbolic language expresses frustration with racial barriers, imagined as a "thick wall" that blocks the Black speaker from their "dream." Just when the speaker seems on the verge of giving up, they voice determination to "Break through the wall!" and achieve the life they want. The poem's core themes—including Blackness, racism, thwarted dreams, and surviving hope—would come to define Hughes's best-known poetry.
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“As I Grew Older” Summary
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The speaker reflects on a dream (aspiration) they had many years ago and have nearly forgotten by now. At first, their dream seemed as radiant as the sun itself, and it was right there for the taking.
But gradually, a barrier separated them from the life they dreamed of. The barrier grew higher, dimming their hopes until it blocked them from their dream completely like a wall blocking out sunlight.
It cast a shadow over their life, leaving them with the realization that society defined them as Black.
The shadow drains their energy. They can't see their dream above or in front of them anymore, just the huge racial barrier and the shadow it casts.
They urge their dark hands (symbols of Black power) to find the strength to smash the barrier and attain their dream. They call on their hands to break down the sinister barrier, until not only the radiance of their original dream, but the delirious light of a thousand dreams shines through.
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“As I Grew Older” Themes
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Blackness, Racism, and Aspiration
"As I Grew Older" laments the difficulty of achieving one's dreams as a Black person in a racist society. Its Black speaker describes a "wall" that has risen between them and the "dream" they once aspired toward. This wall symbolizes racism, which has blocked out the guiding "light" of the speaker’s dream and left them in "shadow"—a shadow they associate with "black[ness]" itself. Still, they remain determined (or desperate) to "Break through the wall!" and "Find my dream!"—in other words, to conquer racial barriers and fulfill their aspirations. Racism, the poem implies, hinders Black people from attaining goals that are as necessary and nourishing as sunlight. As a result, it breeds both constant frustration and a furious desire to overcome its obstacles.
The poem's Black speaker imagines racism as a "wall" standing between themselves and their goals. As the poem opens, the speaker has "almost forgotten" the "dream" they once cherished. They don't specify what this dream involves (love? success? happiness? all of the above?), but they compare it to "a sun": something illuminating, sustaining, and central to their lives.
The speaker recalls a "wall" that "Rose slowly [...] Between me and my dream." This wall "Dimm[ed]" their dream and left them in "Shadow," causing them to realize that "I am black." The wall represents the racial barriers they encountered, which showed that white society viewed them as different, lesser, and unworthy of their goals. "As [They] Grew Older," the speaker became increasingly frustrated by the "thick wall" of racism and the "shadow" it forced them to live under. Once the reality of racism set in, their youthful aspirations no longer seemed attainable: "the light of my dream" was "No longer [...] before me."
Yet the speaker's frustration doesn't quite turn into despair. The poem shows how dreams can survive the hell of racism, while intensifying the desire to "smash" racial barriers. Right after suggesting that their hopes have died, the speaker cries out with fresh determination: "My hands! / My dark hands! / Break through the wall! / Find my dream!" Though the speaker feels angry and desperate, they haven't given up. Racism is blocking their dream, but it hasn't extinguished their dream.
If anything, their dream has intensified in the face of racism. They feel a passionate desire to "shatter" the "darkness" of prejudice—to "break" through racial barriers "Into a thousand lights of sun." Metaphorically, their dream once had the power of a single sun; now it's taken on a vast, cosmic intensity. It may be a dream of ending racism for everyone, not just succeeding on an individual level.
"As I Grew Older" is one of many Langston Hughes poems that center on Blackness, racism, and dreams, including the so-called American Dream. In this early exploration of his signature themes, he conveys the frustration of thwarted dreams with great urgency and emotional directness.
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Line-by-Line Explanation & Analysis of “As I Grew Older”
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Lines 1-6
It was a long time ago.
I have almost forgotten my dream.
But it was there then,
In front of me,
Bright like a sun,—
My dream.The opening stanza (lines 1-6) introduces the poem's speaker and hints at its central conflict.
The title ("As I Grew Older") has already suggested that this is a mature speaker reflecting on their youth. The first two lines reinforce this idea by reflecting on the past: "It was a long time ago. / I have almost forgotten my dream." Right away, this seems to be a poem about disappointment—about lost ideals, hopes, or aspirations. Yet the simile that follows suggests that the speaker's old "dream" lingers vividly in their memory:
But it was there then,
In front of me,
Bright like a sun,—
My dream.It's not stated outright what this "dream" is, but it boils down to the vision of a better life—the life the speaker hoped to lead. This vision was once a guiding light for them, like "a sun": something powerful, central, and sustaining. It hovered "in front of [them]," as if ripe for the taking, back when their whole life lay in front of them. Already, though, it seems as if this vision slipped away as they "Grew Older." (Many of Langston Hughes's most famous poems concern the necessity of dreams in human lives, and the agony of thwarted or "deferred" dreams; see the Context section of this guide for more.)
This first stanza establishes that the poem is written in free verse (it contains no rhyme scheme or meter). Every line is end-stopped; that is, it breaks after a grammatical pause indicated by a comma, period, or other punctuation. (This pattern will hold until the last stanza, which contains two enjambments.)
The poem takes its form from the natural flow of the speaker's thoughts rather than a conventional poetic pattern, so the language sounds organic, almost conversational. The punctuation ending each line, however, makes the language seem somewhat reined in or confined—appropriate to a poem about harsh limitations.
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Lines 7-10
And then the wall rose,
Rose slowly,
Slowly,
Between me and my dream.
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Lines 11-16
Rose slowly, slowly,
Dimming,
Hiding,
The light of my dream.
Rose until it touched the sky,—
The wall. -
Lines 17-23
Shadow.
I am black.
I lie down in the shadow.
No longer the light of my dream before me,
Above me.
Only the thick wall.
Only the shadow. -
Lines 24-27
My hands!
My dark hands!
Break through the wall!
Find my dream! -
Lines 28-33
Help me to shatter this darkness,
To smash this night,
To break this shadow
Into a thousand lights of sun,
Into a thousand whirling dreams
Of sun!
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“As I Grew Older” Symbols
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The Wall
The speaker describes a "wall" that "Rose slowly, / Slowly, / Between me and my dream" (lines 7-10). This wall symbolizes the social barriers they face as a Black person in a racist society. A wall is something built by humans, not something natural, so the symbolism implies that racial barriers, too, are unnatural and artificial.
As the title suggests, the wall rose as the speaker "Grew Older" and more aware of racism. It blocked them from their "dream"—which once shed a hopeful "light"—and cast a metaphorical "Shadow" over their lives. The speaker connects this shadow (of unhappiness, frustration, etc.) with the racial/social category of Blackness:
Shadow.
I am black.In other words, the shadow arises from the recognition that their society defines them as Black and treats Black people as second-class citizens (or worse).
Tormenting as the "wall" is, the speaker remains determined to "Break through" it. They attempt to summon the strength to smash through the racial barrier, and to "Find [their] dream!" regardless of how white society treats or defines them.
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“As I Grew Older” Poetic Devices & Figurative Language
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Repetition
The poem repeats many key words and phrases, both as a way of highlighting its main themes and as a way of loosely structuring its free verse.
Take the word "dream," for example. It appears seven times in the poem's 33 lines (including once in the plural: "dreams," line 33). In all but one of those instances, the poem further emphasizes it by placing it at the end of a line. ("Dream"/"dreams" ends so many lines that it's almost a refrain!) In five instances, it occurs as part of the phrase "my dream," and in two instances, as part of the phrase "the light of my dream."
This constant repetition conveys how important—in fact, essential—the "dream" is to the speaker's imagination. It's something deeply personal, a guiding "light" in their lives, even as the "wall" of racism blocks them from attaining it. This "wall" is itself mentioned four times; so is the fact that it "rose" up, and the oppressive "shadow" it casts. These repetitions illustrate the maddening persistence of the racial barrier.
Meanwhile, "light"/"lights" appears three times, indicating that the gleam of hope hasn't completely vanished from the speaker's life. (Since shadows are dark and light is, well, light, there's also some complex racial symbolism at play here. In breaking down the wall, the speaker seems to want to erase the light/dark distinction entirely, or end racial divisions altogether.)
Some repeated words/phrases fall at the beginnings of successive lines and/or sentences, creating anaphora. Examples include "Rose" in lines 11 and 15, "Only the" in lines 22 and 23, "My" in lines 24 and 25, "To" in lines 29 and 30, and "Into a thousand" in lines 31 and 32. Other repeated words/phrases fall at the ends of lines: "dream"/"dreams" (lines 2, 6, 10, 14, 27, and 32), "me" (lines 4, 20, and 21), "sun" (lines 5, 31, and 33), "slowly" (lines 8, 9, and 11), "wall" (lines 16, 22, and 26), "shadow" (lines 17, 19, 23, and 30), and "hands" (lines 24 and 25).
Some of these repetitions emphasize key themes (e.g., the "wall" of oppression) or convey emotion (such as the excitement of "Into a thousand lights of sun, / Into a thousand whirling dreams / Of sun!"). More broadly, by starting and ending so many lines with identical phrases, the poet adds a dash of structure to an otherwise free-form poem. There's no set meter, rhyme scheme, or stanza form here, but the poem does keep circling back to the same words and ideas.
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End-Stopped Line
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Extended Metaphor
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Apostrophe
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“As I Grew Older” Vocabulary
Select any word below to get its definition in the context of the poem. The words are listed in the order in which they appear in the poem.
- Dimming
- Black
- Whirling
Dimming-
Making less bright or intense; darkening.
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Form, Meter, & Rhyme Scheme of “As I Grew Older”
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Form
The poem contains five stanzas of uneven length (ranging from two to ten lines). The lines vary in length as well (from two to eleven syllables). It's a free verse poem, so it has no meter or rhyme scheme.
Hughes wrote "As I Grew Older" during a period when free verse was still considered experimental; it had come into vogue in English-language poetry during the previous decade. His use of this technique signals his openness to "modern" styles, as well as his subversive or irreverent stance toward traditional styles. The poet's desire to create new kinds of poetry seems to align with the speaker's desire to create a new kind of society (the non-racist kind).
In particular, Hughes is celebrated for adapting some of the techniques of Black music—including jazz and the blues—into English-language poetry. Sometimes he did this by loosening his meter or using unpredictable rhyme patterns. In this poem, he riffs on a few key words, including "dream," "sun," "wall," and "shadow," repeating them over and over in different contexts and in lines of varying lengths. Often, though not always, these key words fall at the ends of lines.
This kind of loose, seemingly improvised repetition-with-variations is characteristic of jazz music, and it's one of the elements that made Hughes's poetry distinctive even in an era full of poetic innovation. (More broadly, Hughes riffs on certain key words and themes, including "dreams" and "black[ness]," across poems and entire books! See the Context section of this guide for more.)
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Meter
"As I Grew Older" is a free verse poem, so it has no meter.
Hughes wrote in both free verse and metrical forms throughout his career. His style was generally innovative and experimental, influenced by Black American musical traditions such as jazz and the blues. ("As I Grew Older" was published in his collection The Weary Blues.) As part of that experimentation, he often loosened meter or abandoned it altogether, in favor of language that feels spontaneous and organic (but in fact is carefully crafted!). Here, the terse, free-form lines convey a sense of emotional urgency, as if the speaker is too anguished and frustrated to say anything conventionally "poetic."
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Rhyme Scheme
As a free verse poem, "As I Grew Older" has no rhyme scheme. It does, however, repeat several words a number of times at the ends of lines: "dream"/"dreams" (lines 2, 6, 10, 14, 27, and 32), "me" (lines 4, 20, and 21), "sun" (lines 5, 31, and 33), "slowly" (lines 8, 9, and 11), "wall" (lines 16, 22, and 26), and "shadow" (lines 17, 19, 23, and 30). Also, both lines 24 and 25 end with "hands."
In fact, most of the lines in the poem end with one of these repetitions. The effect is something like identical rhyme, although some of the repetitions occur too far apart for the "rhyme" to be noticeable. And, again, there's no formal pattern or scheme involved. Instead, Hughes might have a musical model in mind, as he often does: the kind of repetition-with-variations found in jazz. He's loosely riffing on these thematically important words—using them in different contexts and in lines of varying length, but returning to them repeatedly to emphasize their significance.
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“As I Grew Older” Speaker
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The poem doesn't provide many specific details about its speaker (name, gender, location, etc.). But it establishes, largely through symbol and metaphor, that the speaker is a Black person in a racist society.
In line 18, the speaker says simply, "I am black." This is a statement of racial identity, though not a completely straightforward one: the speaker has just described themselves as being "Shadow[ed]" by the "wall" that's risen between them and their dreams. So "I am black" means both that they are Black in a racial sense and that they are darkened by this metaphorical shadow (of oppression, etc.). Later, the speaker mentions their "dark hands," in another reference to their dark skin.
In this context, it's clear that the "wall" they face is (primarily, at least) the barrier of racial discrimination. They wish to "Break through" this barrier and achieve the "thousand whirling dreams" that wait on the other side. In urging their own "hands" to do this, they seem to be summoning the strength to fight oppression and achieve social change.
The only other information about the speaker comes in the title: "As I Grew Older." It's not clear exactly how old this speaker is, just that they're mature enough to understand the nature and extent of their oppression. Otherwise, the speaker is a somewhat generalized figure; their frustration is representative of the general plight of Black people in a racist world. The lack of specifics allows a wider variety of readers, particularly Black readers, to identify with the speaker's situation.
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“As I Grew Older” Setting
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The poem contains what seem to be a few sparse setting details: a "wall," "sky," and "sun." However, these details turn out to be symbolic, representing the racial barriers the speaker faces and the dazzling "dreams" that wait on the other side.
Unlike many of Hughes's poems, then, this one isn't tied to a particular location; it's a more generalized portrait of oppression, frustration, and perseverance. At the same time, since Hughes was a Black man writing in early 20th-century America, the poet's cultural setting is worth noting (see Context section for more).
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Literary and Historical Context of “As I Grew Older”
Literary Context
Langston Hughes was a leading writer of the Harlem Renaissance, an early-20th-century artistic, intellectual, and social movement centered in the largely Black Harlem neighborhood of New York City. Hughes published "As I Grew Older" in The Weary Blues (1926), his debut volume, as the movement was flourishing. In addition, the Harlem Renaissance overlapped with and contributed to the literary Modernist movement, which began in the 1910s, gained momentum after World War I, and introduced a wave of poetic experimentation.
Hughes's poetry, including "As I Grew Older," both influenced and was influenced by these movements, as well as by the broader social currents of the period. For example, the Harlem Renaissance brought an explosion of musical innovation, particularly in jazz and the blues. Hughes strove to adapt the techniques of these genres into his poetry. The Weary Blues contains, in addition to the famous title piece, such music-themed poems as "Jazzonia," "The Cat and the Saxophone," and "Harlem Nightclub." (It also contains an entire section called "Dream Variations": proof that dreams were a central concern of his poetry from the start.) The free verse of "As I Grew Older" reflects Hughes's passion for innovative musical and verse technique.
"As I Grew Older" is one of many dream-related poems Hughes wrote throughout his career. A famous example is "Harlem" (1951), which begins, "What happens to a dream deferred? // Does it dry up like a raisin in the sun?" and ends, "Or does it explode?" Notice the parallel between the "explo[sion]" here and the "smash[ing]"/"shatter[ing]" at the end of "As I Grew Older." Both poems suggest that thwarted dreams can cause a bottling-up of anger and frustration that eventually bursts out. At the same time, the "whirling dreams" in "As I Grew Older" echo the ecstatic, hopeful language of Hughes's "Dream Variations," whose speaker imagines "whirl[ing] and [...] danc[ing] / Till the white day is done."
Hughes's poetry is closely associated with the dreams and realities of Black Americans in particular, as well as the broader problem of the "American Dream." It profoundly influenced many marginalized writers during and after Hughes's lifetime, among them playwright Lorraine Hansberry (A Raisin in the Sun) and Martin Luther King, Jr. (some of whose speeches drew on phrases and ideas in Hughes's work).
Historical Context
Both the Harlem Renaissance and Modernism channeled the social conflicts of Hughes's age. With daring candor, Hughes and other Black artists of the period expressed the frustration, anger, and sorrow of life in a racist society.
During the era when “As I Grew Older” appeared, the southern U.S. was still segregated, the Ku Klux Klan was resurgent, and the Civil Rights movement was decades away. Also far on the horizon was the modern LGBTQ rights movement, and many scholars believe Hughes was a gay man who chose not to risk openness about his sexuality. A few years after The Weary Blues was published, the country sank into the Great Depression, and Hughes's commitment to radical left-wing politics deepened throughout the 1930s.
In short, "As I Grew Older" attacks prejudice and oppression as part of a larger body of work—including Hughes's other famous dream poems—that confronts these themes repeatedly. The poem's attitude toward "my dream" reflects the experience of a writer whose country often belittled, blocked, or crushed the dreams of people like himself.
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More “As I Grew Older” Resources
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External Resources
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The Poem Aloud — Listen to a reading of "As I Grew Older," complete with musical accompaniment.
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The Poet's Life and Work — Read a short biography of Hughes, plus other Hughes poems, at Poets.org.
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An Introduction to the Harlem Renaissance — An introduction to the literary movement with which Hughes is closely associated.
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A Hughes Video — Watch a short biographical film about Langston Hughes.
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A Hughes Documentary — Watch a 2002 film about Hughes's life and times.
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Hughes on "The Racial Mountain" — Read one of Hughes's most famous commentaries on race and literature, published the same year as The Weary Blues (1926).
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LitCharts on Other Poems by Langston Hughes
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