"You Are Old, Father William" is one of the poems embedded in Lewis Carroll's children's classic Alice's Adventures in Wonderland (1865). It's a parody of the once-popular didactic poem "The Old Man's Comforts and How He Gained Them" (1799), by the onetime Poet Laureate of the UK, Robert Southey. In Carroll's book, Alice tries to recite the Southey poem to the Caterpillar, only to find that it comes out very differently—"wrong from beginning to end," as the Caterpillar scolds. Rather than teaching the value of healthy, pious living, the Carroll poem revels in nonsensical clowning. At the same time, Carroll's Father William seems to mock the assumption that old folks will be (or should be) boring, settled, and frail.
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1"You are old, Father William," the young man said,
2"And your hair has become very white;
3And yet you incessantly stand on your head—
4Do you think, at your age, it is right?"
5"In my youth," Father William replied to his son,
6"I feared it might injure the brain;
7But, now that I'm perfectly sure I have none,
8Why, I do it again and again."
9"You are old," said the youth, "as I mentioned before,
10And have grown most uncommonly fat;
11Yet you turned a back somersault in at the door—
12Pray, what is the reason of that?"
13"In my youth," said the sage, as he shook his grey locks,
14"I kept all my limbs very supple
15By the use of this ointment—one shilling the box—
16Allow me to sell you a couple?"
17"You are old," said the youth, "and your jaws are too weak
18For anything tougher than suet;
19Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak—
20Pray, how did you manage to do it?"
21"In my youth," said his father, "I took to the law,
22And argued each case with my wife;
23And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw,
24Has lasted the rest of my life."
25"You are old," said the youth, "one would hardly suppose
26That your eye was as steady as ever;
27Yet, you balanced an eel on the end of your nose—
28What made you so awfully clever?"
29"I have answered three questions, and that is enough,"
30Said his father. "Don't give yourself airs!
31Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?
32Be off, or I'll kick you down stairs!"
1"You are old, Father William," the young man said,
2"And your hair has become very white;
3And yet you incessantly stand on your head—
4Do you think, at your age, it is right?"
5"In my youth," Father William replied to his son,
6"I feared it might injure the brain;
7But, now that I'm perfectly sure I have none,
8Why, I do it again and again."
9"You are old," said the youth, "as I mentioned before,
10And have grown most uncommonly fat;
11Yet you turned a back somersault in at the door—
12Pray, what is the reason of that?"
13"In my youth," said the sage, as he shook his grey locks,
14"I kept all my limbs very supple
15By the use of this ointment—one shilling the box—
16Allow me to sell you a couple?"
17"You are old," said the youth, "and your jaws are too weak
18For anything tougher than suet;
19Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak—
20Pray, how did you manage to do it?"
21"In my youth," said his father, "I took to the law,
22And argued each case with my wife;
23And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw,
24Has lasted the rest of my life."
25"You are old," said the youth, "one would hardly suppose
26That your eye was as steady as ever;
27Yet, you balanced an eel on the end of your nose—
28What made you so awfully clever?"
29"I have answered three questions, and that is enough,"
30Said his father. "Don't give yourself airs!
31Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?
32Be off, or I'll kick you down stairs!"
"You are old, Father William," the young man said,
"And your hair has become very white;
And yet you incessantly stand on your head—
Do you think, at your age, it is right?"
"In my youth," Father William replied to his son,
"I feared it might injure the brain;
But, now that I'm perfectly sure I have none,
Why, I do it again and again."
"You are old," said the youth, "as I mentioned before,
And have grown most uncommonly fat;
Yet you turned a back somersault in at the door—
Pray, what is the reason of that?"
"In my youth," said the sage, as he shook his grey locks,
"I kept all my limbs very supple
By the use of this ointment—one shilling the box—
Allow me to sell you a couple?"
"You are old," said the youth, "and your jaws are too weak
For anything tougher than suet;
Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak—
Pray, how did you manage to do it?"
"In my youth," said his father, "I took to the law,
And argued each case with my wife;
And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw,
Has lasted the rest of my life."
"You are old," said the youth, "one would hardly suppose
That your eye was as steady as ever;
Yet, you balanced an eel on the end of your nose—
What made you so awfully clever?"
"I have answered three questions, and that is enough,"
Said his father. "Don't give yourself airs!
Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?
Be off, or I'll kick you down stairs!"
Select any word below to get its definition in the context of the poem. The words are listed in the order in which they appear in the poem.
A Reading of the Poem — Listen to a reading of "You Are Old, Father William" (complete with silly voices).
The Poem in Context — Read the poem as it appears in Chapter 5 of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, along with John Tenniel's famous illustrations.
The Song Set to Music — Listen to They Might Be Giants's musical adaptation of the poem.
The Source of the Parody — Read Robert Southey's "The Old Man's Comforts and How He Gained Them" (1799), the poem that "You Are Old, Father William" parodies.
The Poet's Life and Work — Read a biography of Carroll via the Poetry Foundation.