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Act 3, Scene 5
All's Well That Ends Well Translation Act 3, Scene 6
Enter BERTRAM and the two French Lords
SECOND LORD
Nay, good my lord, put him to't; let him have hisway.
SECOND LORD
No, my good lord, put him to the test. Let him be examined.
FIRST LORD
If your lordship find him not a hilding, hold me nomore in your respect.
FIRST LORD
If your lordship doesn't find him to be a worthless nothing, don't respect me any longer.
SECOND LORD
On my life, my lord, a bubble.
SECOND LORD
On my life, my lord, he'll prove to be nothing but a bubble.
BERTRAM
Do you think I am so far deceived in him?
BERTRAM
You really think I'm so completely deceived by him?
SECOND LORD
Believe it, my lord, in mine own direct knowledge, without any malice, but to speak of him as my kinsman, he's a most notable coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise-breaker, the owner of no one good quality worthy your lordship's entertainment.
SECOND LORD
Believe it, my lord, based on my own personal knowledge, without any ill will, but to speak of him as I would speak of a family member: he's a real coward, an infinite and endless liar, he breaks promises every hour, and he doesn't have one good quality worthy of following your lordship.
FIRST LORD
It were fit you knew him; lest, reposing too far inhis virtue, which he hath not, he might at somegreat and trusty business in a main danger fail you.
FIRST LORD
It would be best that you know him as he is. Otherwise, if you're too trusting of his virtue, which he doesn't have, he might fail you at some great and important moment.
BERTRAM
I would I knew in what particular action to try him.
BERTRAM
I wish I could think of a particular way to test him.
FIRST LORD
None better than to let him fetch off his drum,which you hear him so confidently undertake to do.
FIRST LORD
There's no better way than to let him fetch back his lost drum which we've all heard him so confidently say he'll do.
SECOND LORD
I, with a troop of Florentines, will suddenly surprise him; such I will have, whom I am sure he knows not from the enemy: we will bind and hoodwink him so, that he shall suppose no other but that he is carried into the leaguer of the adversaries, when we bring him to our own tents. Be but your lordship present at his examination: if he do not, for the promise of his life and in the highest compulsion of base fear, offer to betray you and deliver all the intelligence in his power against you, and that with the divine forfeit of his soul upon oath, never trust my judgment in any thing.
SECOND LORD
Along with a troop of Florentines, I'll suddenly ambush him. I'll bring the men I have that he won't be able to tell apart from the enemy. We'll bind him and blindfold him so that he'll think he's been brought into enemy territory, when we're really bringing him into our own tents. Your lordship will be present at his examination. If he doesn't, in order to save his life and out of extraordinary fear, offer to betray you and inform against you with all the intelligence he can share, after swearing that everything he says is true, don't trust my judgement in anything ever again.
FIRST LORD
O, for the love of laughter, let him fetch his drum; he says he has a stratagem for't: when your lordship sees the bottom of his success in't, and to what metal this counterfeit lump of ore will be melted, if you give him not John Drum's entertainment, your inclining cannot be removed. Here he comes.
FIRST LORD
Oh, since we love to laugh, let him try to fetch his drum back. He says he has a plan to do it. When your lordship sees his failure in trying to get it back, and how this fake lump of ore melts down when the truth comes out, if you don't kick him out, it will only be because of a tremendous bias in his favor. Here he comes.
Enter PAROLLES
SECOND LORD
[Aside to BERTRAM] O, for the love of laughter,hinder not the honour of his design: let him fetchoff his drum in any hand.
SECOND LORD
[So only BERTRAM can hear] Oh, since we love to laugh, don't try to stop his ludicrous plans. Let him try to fetch the drum how ever he sees fit.
BERTRAM
How now, monsieur! this drum sticks sorely in yourdisposition.
BERTRAM
How now, monsieur! This situation with the drum is making you moody.
FIRST LORD
A pox on't, let it go; 'tis but a drum.
FIRST LORD
Just move on, get over it, it's only a drum.
PAROLLES
'But a drum'! is't 'but a drum'? A drum so lost!There was excellent command,—to charge in with ourhorse upon our own wings, and to rend our own soldiers!
PAROLLES
"Only a drum!" Is it "only a drum?" A drum lost in this way! What an excellent command—to charge right into battle with the cavalry coming in on either side, and to divide our own soldiers!
FIRST LORD
That was not to be blamed in the command of the service: it was a disaster of war that Caesar himself could not have prevented, if he had been there to command.
FIRST LORD
That's not the fault of the commander of the service. It was a war disaster that not even Caesar could have prevented if he had ben there to command.
BERTRAM
Well, we cannot greatly condemn our success: somedishonour we had in the loss of that drum; but it isnot to be recovered.
BERTRAM
Well, we cannot be too upset about our success. We had a little bit of dishonor in losing that drum, but there's no way it can be stolen back.
PAROLLES
It might have been recovered.
PAROLLES
It might have been stolen back.
BERTRAM
It might; but it is not now.
BERTRAM
It might have, but there's no way now.
PAROLLES
It is to be recovered: but that the merit of service is seldom attributed to the true and exact performer, I would have that drum or another, or 'hic jacet.'
PAROLLES
It is to be taken back. If it weren't that tasks are almost never assigned to the person most capable of carrying them out, I would have that drum back or another one, or I'd die trying.
BERTRAM
Why, if you have a stomach, to't, monsieur: if you think your mystery in stratagem can bring this instrument of honour again into his native quarter, be magnanimous in the enterprise and go on; I will grace the attempt for a worthy exploit: if you speed well in it, the duke shall both speak of it. and extend to you what further becomes his greatness, even to the utmost syllable of your worthiness.
BERTRAM
Well, if you have the bravery for it, monsieur. If you think your mysterious strategy can bring this honorable instrument back again to its troops, be generous in the attempt and go on. I will report the attempt as a worthy one. If you succeed in it, the duke shall not only speak of it but also grant you with whatever else his greatness thinks you deserve, every last drop that you are worthy of.
PAROLLES
By the hand of a soldier, I will undertake it.
PAROLLES
By the hand of a soldier, I will do this.
BERTRAM
But you must not now slumber in it.
BERTRAM
But now you must sleep on it.
PAROLLES
I'll about it this evening: and I will presently pen down my dilemmas, encourage myself in my certainty, put myself into my mortal preparation; and by midnight look to hear further from me.
PAROLLES
I'll do it this evening. And I will now write down my concerns, encourage myself in my sure success, arm myself and prepare for death. By midnight, look to hear more from me.
BERTRAM
May I be bold to acquaint his grace you are gone about it?
BERTRAM
Can I be so bold to tell his grace that you are going to attempt this?
PAROLLES
I know not what the success will be, my lord; butthe attempt I vow.
PAROLLES
I don't know if I'll be successful, my lord, but I vow that I will attempt it.
BERTRAM
I know thou'rt valiant; and, to the possibility ofthy soldiership, will subscribe for thee. Farewell.
BERTRAM
I know you are valiant, and I'll support you when I speak of your soldierly ability. Farewell.
PAROLLES
I love not many words.
PAROLLES
I do not love speaking at length.
Exit
SECOND LORD
No more than a fish loves water. Is not this a strange fellow, my lord, that so confidently seems to undertake this business, which he knows is not to be done; damns himself to do and dares better be damned than to do't?
SECOND LORD
Sure, no more than a fish loves water. Isn't this a strange fellow, my lord, that so confidently claims to take on this task, which he knows he won't actually do? He condemns himself to do it when he'd rather be damned than actually attempt to carry it out?
FIRST LORD
You do not know him, my lord, as we do: certain it is that he will steal himself into a man's favour and for a week escape a great deal of discoveries; but when you find him out, you have him ever after.
FIRST LORD
You don't know him, my lord, as we do. It's certain that he'll convince some man to cover for him and no one will discover the truth for a week. But once you've found him out, you'll have him disgraced forever after.
BERTRAM
Why, do you think he will make no deed at all ofthis that so seriously he does address himself unto?
BERTRAM
Why, do you think he will really make no attempt at all to do this thing he so seriously vows to do?
SECOND LORD
None in the world; but return with an invention and clap upon you two or three probable lies: but we have almost embossed him; you shall see his fall to-night; for indeed he is not for your lordship's respect.
SECOND LORD
No attempt in the world. He'll return instead with some story and tell you two or three probable lies. But we've almost caught him. You'll see his downfall tonight, for indeed he is not worthy of your lord's respect.
FIRST LORD
We'll make you some sport with the fox ere we case him. He was first smoked by the old lord Lafeu: when his disguise and he is parted, tell me what a sprat you shall find him; which you shall see this very night.
FIRST LORD
We'll have you watch some sport with the fox before we reveal him. He was first caught in the act of lying by the old lord Lafeu. When he's finally parted from his disguise, tell me what a fool you take him for. You'll see it this very night.
SECOND LORD
I must go look my twigs: he shall be caught.
SECOND LORD
I must go prepare the trap. He'll be caught.
BERTRAM
Your brother he shall go along with me.
BERTRAM
Your brother shall go along with me.
SECOND LORD
As't please your lordship: I'll leave you.
SECOND LORD
As your lordship requests. I'll leave you.
Exit
BERTRAM
Now will I lead you to the house, and show youThe lass I spoke of.
BERTRAM
Now I'l lead you to the house and show you the lady I was telling you about.
FIRST LORD
But you say she's honest.
FIRST LORD
But you say she's honest.
BERTRAM
That's all the fault: I spoke with her but once And found her wondrous cold; but I sent to her, By this same coxcomb that we have i' the wind, Tokens and letters which she did re-send; And this is all I have done. She's a fair creature: Will you go see her?
BERTRAM
That's the whole problem. I spoke with her once and found her incredibly cold. But I sent to her, via this same fool that we're about to play a trick on, some tokens and letters which she sent back. This is all I've done. She's a pretty creature. Will you go see her?
FIRST LORD
With all my heart, my lord.
FIRST LORD
With all my heart, my lord.
Exeunt
