HAMLET enters.
HAMLET
Safely stowed.
HAMLET
Safely hidden.
GENTLEMEN
[from within] Hamlet! Lord Hamlet!
GENTLEMEN
[Offstage] Hamlet, Lord Hamlet!
HAMLET
But soft, what noise? Who calls on Hamlet?Oh, here they come.
HAMLET
But wait, what’s that noise? Who’s calling for Hamlet? Oh, here they come.
ROSENCRANTZ and GUILDENSTERN enter with others.
ROSENCRANTZ
5 What have you done, my lord, with the dead body?
ROSENCRANTZ
What have you done with the dead body, my lord?
HAMLET
Compounded it with dust, whereto ’tis kin.
HAMLET
Gotten it dirty—ashes to ashes, and dust to dust.
ROSENCRANTZ
Tell us where ’tis, that we may take it thenceAnd bear it to the chapel.
ROSENCRANTZ
Tell us where it is, so we can take it to the chapel.
HAMLET
Do not believe it.
HAMLET
Don’t believe it.
ROSENCRANTZ
10 Believe what?
ROSENCRANTZ
Believe what?
HAMLET
That I can keep your counsel and not mine own. Besides,to be demanded of a sponge! What replication should be made by the son of a king?
HAMLET
That I’d take your advice and then keep my own secret. Besides, to be questioned by a sponge! How should the son of a king respond to a sponge?
ROSENCRANTZ
Take you me for a sponge, my lord?
ROSENCRANTZ
You think that I’m a sponge, my lord?
HAMLET
15 Ay, sir, that soaks up the king’s countenance, his rewards, his authorities. But such officers do the king best service in the end. He keeps them, like an ape, in the corner of his jaw, first mouthed to be last swallowed. When he needs what you have gleaned, it is20 but squeezing you and, sponge, you shall be dry again.
HAMLET
Yes, sir, a sponge that soaks up the king’s approval, his rewards, and his decisions. Officers like that give the king the best service in the end. He keeps them in his mouth like an ape, moving them around from one side of his mouth to the other. When he needs to know what you have learned, he can just squeeze you like a sponge, and then you’ll be dry again.
ROSENCRANTZ
I understand you not, my lord.
ROSENCRANTZ
I don’t understand you, my lord.
HAMLET
I am glad of it. A knavish speech sleeps in a foolish ear.
HAMLET
I’m glad about that. Mischievous words will never get a response from a fool, because the fool won't understand them.
ROSENCRANTZ
My lord, you must tell us where the body is and go with25us to the king.
ROSENCRANTZ
My lord, you must tell us where the body is, and then go with us to the king.
HAMLET
The body is with the king, but the king is not with thebody.The king is a thing—
HAMLET
The body’s with the real king, but the current king’s not with the body. The king’s a thing—
GUILDENSTERN
A thing, my lord?
GUILDENSTERN
A “thing,” my lord?
HAMLET
30 Of nothing. Bring me to him. Hide, fox, and all after.
HAMLET
Of no importance. Take me to him. Actually, try and catch me!
They exit.
Ben is a co-founder of LitCharts. He holds a BA in English Literature from Harvard University, where as an undergraduate he won the Winthrop Sargent prize for best undergraduate paper on a topic related to Shakespeare.