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Act 1, Scene 4
King Lear Translation Act 1, Scene 5
Enter LEAR, KENT disguised, and FOOL
LEAR
[to KENT, giving him letters] Go you before to Gloucester with these letters. Acquaint my daughter no further with anything you know than comes from her demand out of the letter. If your diligence be not speedy, I shall be there afore you.
LEAR
[To KENT, giving him a letter] Go ahead of me to Gloucester, and give this letter to Regan. Don't tell her anything or answer her questions about the letter. If you don't go fast enough, I'll get there before you.
KENT
I will not sleep, my lord, till I have delivered your letter.
KENT
My lord, I won't sleep until I've delivered your letter.
Exit KENT
FOOL
If a man’s brains were in ’s heels, were ’t not in danger of kibes?
FOOL
If a man's brains were in his feet, wouldn't they be in danger of chilblains?
LEAR
Ay, boy.
LEAR
Yes, boy.
FOOL
Then, I prithee, be merry. Thy wit shall ne'er go slipshod.
FOOL
Then please cheer up. Your brains won't ever have to wear slippers. Feet with brains would never make this useless journey.
LEAR
Ha, ha, ha!
LEAR
Ha, ha, ha!
FOOL
Shalt see thy other daughter will use thee kindly. For though she’s as like this as a crab’s like an apple, yetI can tell what I can tell.
FOOL
Your other daughter will treat you kindly, you'll see. Even though she and Goneril are as similar as two crabapples, I can still tell what I can tell.
LEAR
Why, what canst thou tell, my boy?
LEAR
Why, what can you tell, my boy?
FOOL
She will taste as like this as a crab does to a crab. Thou canst tell why one’s nose stands i' th' middle on ’s face?
FOOL
That Regan will taste just like Goneril—both of them like sour crabapples. Can you tell me why a man's nose stands in the middle of his face?
LEAR
No.
LEAR
No.
FOOL
Why, to keep one’s eyes of either side ’s nose, that what a man cannot smell out, he may spy into.
FOOL
Why, to keep his eyes separated, so he can see whatever he can't sniff out.
LEAR
I did her wrong—
LEAR
I did her wrong—
FOOL
Canst tell how an oyster makes his shell?
FOOL
Can you tell me how an oyster makes his shell?
LEAR
No.
LEAR
No.
FOOL
Nor I neither. But I can tell why a snail has a house.
FOOL
Me neither. But I can tell you why a snail carries its house.
LEAR
Why?
LEAR
Why?
FOOL
Why, to put ’s head in—not to give it away to his daughters and leave his horns without a case.
FOOL
Why, to keep himself dry. And then he can't give his house away to his daughters and leave himself without a place to go.
LEAR
I will forget my nature. So kind a father!—Be my horsesready?
LEAR
[To himself] I will forget my fatherly feelings. I was such a kind father!
[To FOOL] Are my horses ready?
FOOL
Thy asses are gone about 'em. The reason why the seven stars are no more than seven is a pretty reason.
FOOL
Your attendant asses are getting them. There's a pretty reason why the constellation Pleiades has only seven stars.
LEAR
Because they are not eight?
LEAR
Because it doesn't have eight?
FOOL
Yes indeed. Thou wouldst make a good fool.
FOOL
Yes indeed. You would make a good fool.
LEAR
To take ’t again perforce—Monster ingratitude!
LEAR
I could have taken back my kingdom by force. What monstrous ingratitude!
FOOL
If thou wert my fool, nuncle, I’d have thee beaten for being old before thy time.
FOOL
Uncle, if you were my fool, I'd have you beaten for getting old before your time.
LEAR
How’s that?
LEAR
How's that?
FOOL
Thou shouldst not have been old till thou hadst been wise.
FOOL
You shouldn't have gotten old until you'd also gotten wise.
LEAR
O, let me not be mad, not mad, sweet heaven!I would not be mad.Keep me in temper. I would not be mad.
LEAR
Oh, don't let me go crazy, not crazy, sweet God! I don't want to go crazy. Keep me sane. I don't want to go crazy.
Enter a GENTLEMAN
How now? Are the horses ready?
Well, are the horses ready?
GENTLEMAN
Ready, my lord.
GENTLEMAN
Ready, my lord.
LEAR
Come, boy.
LEAR
Come on, boy.
Exeunt LEAR and GENTLEMAN
FOOL
She that’s a maid now and laughs at my departure,Shall not be a maid long unless things be cut shorter.
FOOL
Any girl who laughs at my departure won't be a virgin for long—not unless men are all castrated.
Exit
