Much Ado About Nothing Translation Act 2, Scene 2
Enter DON JOHN and BORACHIO
DON JOHN
It is so. The Count Claudio shall marry the daughter of Leonato.
DON JOHN
It's been decided. Count Claudio will marry Leonato's daughter.
BORACHIO
Yea, my lord, but I can cross it.
BORACHIO
Yes, my lord, but I can still ruin it.
DON JOHN
Any bar, any cross, any impediment will be med'cinable to me. I am sick in displeasure to him, and whatsoever comes athwart his affection ranges evenly with mine. Howcanst thou cross this marriage?
DON JOHN
Any obstacle or impediment to Claudio's marriage will be like medicine to me. I am sick with anger toward him, and whoever can spoil his happiness will improve my own happiness. How do you plan to stop this wedding?
BORACHIO
Not honestly, my lord, but so covertly that no dishonesty shall appear in me.
BORACHIO
My lord, I can't do it without being dishonest, but I'll be so secretive that no one will suspect me.
DON JOHN
Show me briefly how.
DON JOHN
Quickly, tell me how.
BORACHIO
I think I told your lordship a year since how much I amin the favor of Margaret, the waiting gentlewoman to Hero.
BORACHIO
I think I told you about a year ago how much Hero's serving woman, Margaret, likes me.
DON JOHN
I remember.
DON JOHN
I remember.
BORACHIO
I can, at any unseasonable instant of the night, appoint her to look out at her lady’s chamber window.
BORACHIO
I can arrange for her to meet me at Hero's bedroom window at some indecent hour of the night.
DON JOHN
What life is in that to be the death of this marriage?
DON JOHN
How will that help to kill this marriage?
BORACHIO
The poison of that lies in you to temper. Go you to the Prince your brother. Spare not to tell him that he hath wronged his honor in marrying the renowned Claudio, whose estimation do you mightily hold up, to a contaminated stale, such a one as Hero.
BORACHIO
It's up to you to brew the poison with these ingredients. Go to the Prince your brother. Tell him that he has wronged his own honor by matching the heroic Claudio—whose reputation you greatly admire—with a common prostitute like Hero.
DON JOHN
What proof shall I make of that?
DON JOHN
And how can I prove that?
BORACHIO
Proof enough to misuse the Prince, to vex Claudio, to undo Hero, and kill Leonato. Look you for any other issue?
BORACHIO
You'll have enough proof to deceive the Prince, torment Claudio, ruin Hero, and kill Leonato. What more could you want?
DON JOHN
Only to despite them, I will endeavor anything.
DON JOHN
I'll do anything to hurt them.
BORACHIO
Go then, find me a meet hour to draw Don Pedro and the Count Claudio alone. Tell them that you know that Hero loves me. Intend a kind of zeal both to the Prince and Claudio, as in love of your brother’s honor, who hath made this match, and his friend’s reputation, who is thus like to be cozened with the semblance of a maid,that you have discovered thus. They will scarcely believe this without trial. Offer them instances, which shall bear no less likelihood than to see me at her chamber window, hear me call Margaret “Hero,” hear Margaret term me “Claudio,” and bring them to see this the very night before the intended wedding, for in the meantime I will so fashion the matter that Hero shall beabsent, and there shall appear such seeming truth of Hero’s disloyalty that jealousy shall be called assurance and all the preparation overthrown.
BORACHIO
Go then, find a suitable time to speak with Don Pedro and Count Claudio alone. Tell them that you know that Hero loves me. Pretend to be very passionate about preserving your brother's honor, which has been compromised by making this match, and also Claudio's reputation, which will be ruined by this woman, whom you've discovered is only pretending to be a virgin. They won't believe this without proof, of course—so give them examples. Tell them you've seen the two of us together at Hero's bedroom window, and on the night before the intended wedding, bring them to see for themselves. I'll arrange it so that Hero is away for the night, and Margaret and I will be at the window, with me calling her "Hero" and her calling me "Claudio." This will seem like such convincing evidence of Hero's disloyalty that Claudio's suspicions will be confirmed, and he'll immediately call off the wedding preparations.
DON JOHN
Grow this to what adverse issue it can, I will put it in practice. Be cunning in the working this, and thy feeis a thousand ducats.
DON JOHN
Make this happen as you say, and I'll do my part. Arrange this cunningly, and I'll reward you with a thousand gold coins.
BORACHIO
Be you constant in the accusation, and my cunning shall not shame me.
BORACHIO
If you can make your accusation of Hero convincing, then my cunning won't fail me.
DON JOHN
I will presently go learn their day of marriage.
DON JOHN
I'll go right now to learn the date of their wedding.
Exeunt