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Act 3, Scene 1
The Taming of the Shrew Translation Act 3, Scene 2
Enter BAPTISTA, GREMIO, TRANIO as LUCENTIO, KATHERINE, BIANCA, LUCENTIO, and others, attendants
BAPTISTA
[To TRANIO] Signior Lucentio, this is the 'pointed day That Katherine and Petruchio should be married, And yet we hear not of our son-in-law. What will be said? What mockery will it be, To want the bridegroom when the priest attends To speak the ceremonial rites of marriage? What says Lucentio to this shame of ours?
BAPTISTA
[To TRANIO] Sir Lucentio, this is the day appointed for Katherine and Petruchio to be married, but I haven't heard from my son-in-law at all. What will people say? What a mockery it will be to have the priest here, ready to perform the marriage ceremony, and be missing the bridegroom! What does Lucentio have to say about our shame?
KATHERINE
No shame but mine. I must, forsooth, be forced To give my hand, opposed against my heart, Unto a mad-brain rudesby, full of spleen, Who wooed in haste and means to wed at leisure. I told you, I, he was a frantic fool, Hiding his bitter jests in blunt behavior, And, to be noted for a merry man, He’ll woo a thousand, 'point the day of marriage, Make friends, invite, and proclaim the banns, Yet never means to wed where he hath wooed. Now must the world point at poor Katherine And say, “Lo, there is mad Petruchio’s wife, If it would please him come and marry her!”
KATHERINE
The shame is all mine. I was forced to oppose my own heart and give my hand to that boorish, fickle madman, who wooed in a hurry and means to marry at his leisure. I told you he was a crazy fool, hiding his bitter jokes with his forward behavior. He wants to be known as this cheerful libertine, so he'll woo a thousand women, set the marriage date, invite friends, and make a public announcement—but he has no intention of actually getting married. Now everyone must point at poor Katherine and say, "Look, there is mad Petruchio's wife—if he could be bothered to come and marry her!"
TRANIO
[as LUCENTIO] Patience, good Katherine, and Baptista too. Upon my life, Petruchio means but well, Whatever fortune stays him from his word: Though he be blunt, I know him passing wise; Though he be merry, yet withal he’s honest.
TRANIO
[As LUCENTIO] Be patient, good Katherine, and you too, Baptista. I swear Petruchio means well, despite whatever might be keeping him from honoring his word. Though he's rude, I know he's exceedingly wise, and though he's a joker, he's still an honest man.
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KATHERINE
Would Katherine had never seen him, though!
KATHERINE
I wish that I had never seen him, though!
Exit weeping, followed by BIANCA and others
BAPTISTA
Go, girl. I cannot blame thee now to weep,For such an injury would vex a very saint,Much more a shrew of thy impatient humor.
BAPTISTA
Go, girl. I can't blame you for weeping now. Such an insult would offend even a saint, let alone an impatient shrew like you.
Enter BIONDELLO
BIONDELLO
Master, master! News, old news, and such news as you never heard of!
BIONDELLO
Master, master! I have news, old news, and such news as you never heard before!
BAPTISTA
Is it new and old too? How may that be?
BAPTISTA
You have news that's both new and old? How can that be?
BIONDELLO
Why, is it not news to hear of Petruchio’s coming?
BIONDELLO
Why, isn't it news that Petruchio is coming?
BAPTISTA
Is he come?
BAPTISTA
Is he here?
BIONDELLO
Why, no, sir.
BIONDELLO
Why, no, sir.
BAPTISTA
What then?
BAPTISTA
What then?
BIONDELLO
He is coming.
BIONDELLO
He is coming.
BAPTISTA
When will he be here?
BAPTISTA
When will he be here?
BIONDELLO
When he stands where I am and sees you there.
BIONDELLO
When he stands where I am and sees you there.
TRANIO
[as LUCENTIO] But say, what to thine old news?
TRANIO
[As LUCENTIO] But tell us, what is your old news?
BIONDELLO
Why, Petruchio is coming in a new hat and an old jerkin, a pair of old breeches thrice turned, a pair of boots that have been candle cases, one buckled, another laced; an old rusty sword ta'en out of the town armory, with a broken hilt and chapeless; with two broken points; his horse hipped, with an old mothy saddle and stirrups of no kindred, besides possessed with the glanders and like to mose in the chine, troubled with the lampass, infected with the fashions, full of wingdalls, sped with spavins, rayed with yellows, past cure of the fives, stark spoiled with the staggers, begnawn with the bots, swayed in the back and shoulder-shotten, near-legged before and with a half-checked bit and a headstall of sheeps leather, which, being restrained to keep him from stumbling, hathbeen often burst, and now repaired with knots, one girth six times pieced, and a woman’s crupper of velour,which hath two letters for her name fairly set down in studs, and here and there pieced with packthread.
BIONDELLO
Well, Petruchio is coming in a new hat and an old jacket, a pair of old pants turned inside out, broken suspenders holding them up, and a pair of boots that have been used as candle holders: one of them buckled, the other laced. He has an old rusty sword from the town armory with a broken hilt and no scabbard. He's riding on a lame horse with an old moth-eaten saddle and two different stirrups, and the horse has swollen glands, a mouth infection, tumors, leg boils, diseased feet, jaundice, swollen ears, palsy, worms, a twisted back, a sprained shoulder, and knock-kneed forelegs. His bit is hanging off and his cheap bridle, which is pulled tight, is pieced together with knots; his saddle strap is patched up and his tail strap is velvet, studded with the initials of some woman, and here and there held together with thread.
BAPTISTA
Who comes with him?
BAPTISTA
Who's with him?
BIONDELLO
O, sir, his lackey, for all the world caparisoned like the horse; with a linen stock on one leg and a kersey boot-hose on the other, gartered with a red and blue list; an old hat and the humor of forty fancies pricked in ’t for a feather. A monster, a very monster in apparel, and not like a Christian footboy or a gentleman’s lackey.
BIONDELLO
Oh, sir, just his servant, who's dressed up like the horse, with a linen stocking on one leg and a big woolen sock on the other, a pair of red and blue garters, and an old hat with some crazy decoration on it in place of the feather. He's dressed like a monster, a total monster, and not at all like a proper Christian page or a gentleman's servant.
TRANIO
[as LUCENTIO] 'Tis some odd humor pricks him to this fashion,Yet oftentimes he goes but mean-appareled.
TRANIO
[As LUCENTIO] It's some strange whim of his that inspires this fashion—though he does often dress casually.
BAPTISTA
I am glad he’s come, howsoe'er he comes.
BAPTISTA
I'm glad he's coming, however he might be dressed.
BIONDELLO
Why, sir, he comes not.
BIONDELLO
Why, sir, he's not coming.
BAPTISTA
Didst thou not say he comes?
BAPTISTA
Didn't you say he was coming?
BIONDELLO
Who? That Petruchio came?
BIONDELLO
Who? Petruchio?
BAPTISTA
Ay, that Petruchio came.
BAPTISTA
Yes, that Petruchio was coming.
BIONDELLO
No, sir, I say his horse comes, with him on his back.
BIONDELLO
No, sir, I said that his horse was coming, with him on its back.
BAPTISTA
Why, that’s all one.
BAPTISTA
Why, that's the same thing.
BIONDELLO
Nay, by Saint Jamy, I hold you a penny,A horse and a manIs more than oneAnd yet not many.
BIONDELLO
No, by Saint Jamy,
I'll bet you a penny,
A horse and a man
Are not the same—
And yet not too different.
Enter PETRUCHIO and GRUMIO
PETRUCHIO
Come, where be these gallants? Who’s at home?
PETRUCHIO
Come now, where are all the gentlemen? Is anyone at home?
BAPTISTA
You are welcome, sir.
BAPTISTA
You are welcome, sir.
PETRUCHIO
And yet I come not well.
PETRUCHIO
And yet I didn't come well.
BAPTISTA
And yet you halt not.
BAPTISTA
And yet you aren't limping.
TRANIO
[as LUCENTIO] Not so well appareled as I wish you were.
TRANIO
[As LUCENTIO] And you're not as well-dressed as I wish you would be.
PETRUCHIO
Were it better I should rush in thus— But where is Kate? Where is my love? How does my father? Gentles, methinks you frown. And wherefore gaze this goodly company As if they saw some wondrous monument, Some comet or unusual prodigy?
PETRUCHIO
Even if my clothes were better I would still rush in like this—But where is Kate? Where is my love? How is my father-in-law? Gentlemen, you seem to be frowning. Why is this fine gathering of people all staring, as if at something strange—a comet or some unnatural phenomenon?
BAPTISTA
Why, sir, you know this is your wedding day. First were we sad, fearing you would not come, Now sadder that you come so unprovided. Fie, doff this habit, shame to your estate, An eyesore to our solemn festival.
BAPTISTA
Why, sir, you know this is your wedding day. First we were sad because we feared you wouldn't come, but now we're sadder to see that you've come so unprepared. For God's sake, take off this costume. It's a disgrace to your social rank and an eyesore in the middle of our solemn ceremony.
TRANIO
And tell us what occasion of importHath all so long detained you from your wifeAnd sent you hither so unlike yourself.
TRANIO
And tell us what was so important that it made you late for your wedding, and sent you here dressed so unlike yourself.
PETRUCHIO
Tedious it were to tell and harsh to hear. Sufficeth I am come to keep my word, Though in some part enforcèd to digress,Which, at more leisure, I will so excuseAs you shall well be satisfied withal.But where is Kate? I stay too long from her.The morning wears. 'Tis time we were at church.
PETRUCHIO
It would be a tedious story to tell, and a rough one to hear. Suffice it to say that I've come to keep my promise, though I'll have to deviate from it some. I'll explain all this to your satisfaction later, when there's more time. But where is Kate? I've been away from her for too long. The morning is passing, and it's time we go to church.
TRANIO
See not your bride in these unreverent robes.Go to my chamber, put on clothes of mine.
TRANIO
Don't go see your bride in these disrespectful clothes. Go to my room and put on some of my clothes.
PETRUCHIO
Not I, believe me. Thus I’ll visit her.
PETRUCHIO
I won't, believe me. I'll visit her like this.
BAPTISTA
But thus, I trust, you will not marry her.
BAPTISTA
But surely you won't marry her like this.
PETRUCHIO
Good sooth, even thus. Therefore, ha' done with words: To me she’s married, not unto my clothes. Could I repair what she will wear in me As I can change these poor accoutrements, 'Twere well for Kate and better for myself. But what a fool am I to chat with you, When I should bid good morrow to my bride And seal the title with a lovely kiss!
PETRUCHIO
I swear, I will. So let's stop talking about it. She's marrying me, not my clothes. If I could fix my bad qualities as easily as I could change out of these ugly clothes, it would be good for Kate and even better for myself. But what a fool I am for standing here chatting with you, when I should say good morning to my bride and seal our bargain with a loving kiss!
Exeunt PETRUCHIO and GRUMIO
TRANIO
He hath some meaning in his mad attire.We will persuade him, be it possible,To put on better ere he go to church.
TRANIO
He has some plan in dressing up like this. If it's possible, I'll try to persuade him to put on something better before he goes to the church.
BAPTISTA
I’ll after him, and see the event of this.
BAPTISTA
I'll follow him too, and see how this turns out.
Exeunt BAPTISTA, GREMIO, and attendants
TRANIO
But sir, to love concerneth us to add Her father’s liking, which to bring to pass, As I before unparted to your worship, I am to get a man—whate'er he be It skills not much, we’ll fit him to our turn— And he shall be “Vincentio of Pisa” And make assurance here in Padua Of greater sums than I have promisèd. So shall you quietly enjoy your hope And marry sweet Bianca with consent.
TRANIO
[To LUCENTIO] Sir, to be successful you need to get her father's approval as well as Bianca's love. To make this happen, as I explained to your worship, I will find a man—it doesn't really matter what kind of man; I'll make him suit our purposes—who can pretend to be "Vincentio of Pisa," and he can offer Baptista even greater sums of money than I already promised. And so you can get what you want without any trouble, and marry sweet Bianca with her father's consent.
LUCENTIO
Were it not that my fellow schoolmaster Doth watch Bianca’s steps so narrowly, 'Twere good, methinks, to steal our marriage, Which, once performed, let all the world say no, I’ll keep mine own despite of all the world.
LUCENTIO
If it weren't for the fact that my fellow tutor was watching Bianca so closely, I'd think it would be good to just elope in secret. Once the ceremony was performed, it wouldn't matter if the whole world disapproved—I'd keep my wife, despite what anyone might say.
TRANIO
That by degrees we mean to look into And watch our vantage in this business. We’ll overreach the graybeard, Gremio, The narrow-prying father, Minola, The quaint musician, amorous Litio, All for my master’s sake, Lucentio.
TRANIO
I mean to look into that, too, and to keep on eye on our opportunities in this business. I'll outwit the old graybeard, Gremio, the overbearing father, Minola, and the crafty musican, Litio the lover—all for the sake of my master Lucentio.
Enter GREMIO
Signior Gremio, came you from the church?
Sir Gremio, are you coming from the church?
GREMIO
As willingly as e'er I came from school.
GREMIO
As eagerly as I ever came home from school.
TRANIO
[as LUCENTIO] And is the bride and bridegroom coming home?
TRANIO
[As LUCENTIO] And are the bride and bridegroom coming home?
GREMIO
A bridegroom, say you? 'Tis a groom indeed,A grumbling groom, and that the girl shall find.
GREMIO
A bridegroom, you say? More like a groom who cleans stables, a grumbling groom, as that girl will soon discover.
TRANIO
[as LUCENTIO] Curster than she? Why, ’tis impossible.
TRANIO
[As LUCENTIO] You mean he's more of a shrew than she is? Why, that's impossible.
GREMIO
Why, he’s a devil, a devil, a very fiend.
GREMIO
Why, he's a devil, a devil, a total fiend.
TRANIO
[as LUCENTIO] Why, she’s a devil, a devil, the devil’s dam.
TRANIO
[As LUCENTIO] No, she's a devil, a devil, the devil's own mother.
GREMIO
Tut, she’s a lamb, a dove, a fool to him! I’ll tell you, Sir Lucentio: when the priest Should ask if Katherine should be his wife, “Ay, by gogs wouns!” quoth he, and swore so loud That, all amazed, the priest let fall the book, And as he stooped again to take it up, The mad-brained bridegroom took him such a cuff That down fell priest and book, and book and priest. “Now take them up,” quoth he, “if any list.”
GREMIO
Ha! She's a lamb, a dove, an innocent child compared to him! I'll tell you what happened, Sir Lucentio: when the priest asked him if he would take Katherine as his wife, he answered, "Yes, by God's wounds!" and swore so loudly that everyone was shocked and the priest dropped the prayer book. And when the priest bent down to pick it back up, that lunatic bridegroom gave him such a smack that both priest and book went flying "Now pick them up," he said then, "if anyone dares to."
TRANIO
[as LUCENTIO] What said the wench when he rose again?
TRANIO
[As LUCENTIO] What did the girl say when the priest got back up?
GREMIO
Trembled and shook, for why he stamped and swore As if the vicar meant to cozen him. But after many ceremonies done, He calls for wine. “A health!” quoth he, as if He had been aboard, carousing to his mates After a storm; quaffed off the muscatel And threw the sops all in the sexton’s face, Having no other reason But that his beard grew thin and hungerly And seemed to ask him sops as he was drinking. This done, he took the bride about the neck And kissed her lips with such a clamorous smack That at the parting all the church did echo. And I, seeing this, came thence for very shame, And after me, I know, the rout is coming. Such a mad marriage never was before.
GREMIO
She trembled and shook, because the bridegroom starting stamping and swearing, as if the priest was trying to cheat him out of his marriage. But then when the ceremony was finally done, he called for wine. "A toast!" he said, as if he were some drunken sailor partying with his mates after a storm. He chugged the wine and then threw the dregs in the sexton's face, just because the man's beard looked "thin and hungry" and seemed to be asking for it. After that he threw his arms around the bride's neck and kissed her with such a noisy smack that the whole church echoed when their lips parted. After seeing that, I immediately left the shameful scene. I'm sure the rest of the crowd is following me. There's never been a wedding as crazy as that!
Music
Hark, hark! I hear the minstrels play.
Listen, listen! I can hear the musicians playing.
Enter PETRUCHIO, KATHERINE, BIANCA, BAPTISTA, HORTENSIO, GRUMIO, and train
PETRUCHIO
Gentlemen and friends, I thank you for you I know you think to dine with me today And have prepared great store of wedding cheer, But so it is, my haste doth call me hence, And therefore here I mean to take my leave.
PETRUCHIO
Gentlemen and friends, I thank you for coming. I know you expected to dine with me today, and you've prepared a feast to celebrate the wedding, but it so happens that I've been called away to urgent business. So I must say goodbye.
BAPTISTA
Is ’t possible you will away tonight?
BAPTISTA
Are you really leaving tonight?
PETRUCHIO
I must away today, before night come. Make it no wonder. If you knew my business, You would entreat me rather go than stay. And, honest company, I thank you all, That have beheld me give away myself To this most patient, sweet and virtuous wife. Dine with my father, drink a health to me, For I must hence, and farewell to you all.
PETRUCHIO
I must leave today, before the night even comes. Don't be so surprised. If you knew my business, you'd urge me to go rather than stay. And, honest friends, I thank you all for coming to watch me give myself away to this patient, sweet, virtuous wife. Dine with my father-in-law and drink a toast to me, for I must go. Farewell to you all.
TRANIO
[as LUCENTIO] Let us entreat you stay till after dinner.
TRANIO
[As LUCENTIO] Can you at least stay until after dinner?
PETRUCHIO
It may not be.
PETRUCHIO
I cannot.
GREMIO
Let me entreat you.
GREMIO
Whaf if I ask you to stay?
PETRUCHIO
It cannot be.
PETRUCHIO
I cannot.
KATHERINE
Let me entreat you.
KATHERINE
Can I ask you to stay?
PETRUCHIO
I am content.
PETRUCHIO
I'd be glad to.
KATHERINE
Are you content to stay?
KATHERINE
You'd be glad to stay?
PETRUCHIO
I am content you shall entreat me stay,But yet not stay, entreat me how you can.
PETRUCHIO
I'd be glad to hear you ask me to stay. But I cannot stay, no matter how much you plead with me.
KATHERINE
Now, if you love me, stay.
KATHERINE
If you love me, stay.
PETRUCHIO
Grumio, my horse.
PETRUCHIO
Grumio, get my horses ready.
GRUMIO
Ay, sir, they be ready. The oats have eaten the horses.
GRUMIO
They're ready, sir. The oats have all eaten the horses.
KATHERINE
Nay, then, Do what thou canst, I will not go today, No, nor tomorrow, not till I please myself. The door is open, sir. There lies your way. You may be jogging whiles your boots are green. For me, I’ll not be gone till I please myself. 'Tis like you’ll prove a jolly surly groom, That take it on you at the first so roundly.
KATHERINE
All right then, you do what you want. I won't go today, or tomorrow either. I won't go until I feel like it. The door is open, sir. There's the way out. You'd better get an early start. As for me, I'll leave when I want to. If you throw your weight around so rudely at the very start, I'm sure you'll prove to be a surly, overbearing husband.
PETRUCHIO
O Kate, content thee. Prithee, be not angry.
PETRUCHIO
Oh Kate, calm down. Please, don't be angry.
KATHERINE
I will be angry. What hast thou to do?—Father, be quiet. He shall stay my leisure.
KATHERINE
I will be angry. What business is it of yours?—Father, be quiet. He'll stay until I want him to.
GREMIO
Ay, marry, sir, now it begins to work.
GREMIO
Well, sir, now it begins.
KATHERINE
Gentlemen, forward to the bridal dinner.I see a woman may be made a foolIf she had not a spirit to resist.
KATHERINE
Gentlemen, go on to the bridal dinner. I see that a woman will be made into a fool if she doesn't stand up for herself.
PETRUCHIO
They shall go forward, Kate, at thy command.— Obey the bride, you that attend on her. Go to the feast, revel and domineer, Carouse full measure to her maidenhead, Be mad and merry, or go hang yourselves. But for my bonny Kate, she must with me. Nay, look not big, nor stamp, nor stare, nor fret; I will be master of what is mine own. She is my goods, my chattels; she is my house, My household stuff, my field, my barn, My horse, my ox, my ass, my anything. And here she stands, touch her whoever dare. I’ll bring mine action on the proudest he That stops my way in Padua. —Grumio, Draw forth thy weapon, we are beset with thieves. Rescue thy mistress if thou be a man.— Fear not, sweet wench, they shall not touch thee, Kate. I’ll buckler thee against a million.
PETRUCHIO
They'll go on, Kate, at your command.—Obey the bride, you guests who attend on her. Go to the feast, party and be merry, get drunk toasting to her virginity! Be wild and happy, or else go hang yourselves. But as for my pretty Kate, she must go with me. Now, don't look threatening, or stamp your feet, or glare, or worry. I will be the master of what is mine. She is my possession now, my property—like my house, my household stuff, my field, my barn, my horse, my ox, my donkey, my anything. And here she stands. Touch her if you dare! I'll attack—legally and otherwise—any man in Padua who stands in my way, no matter what his rank.—Grumio, draw your sword, we are surrounded by thieves! Rescue your mistress, if you have any manliness in you!—Don't be afraid, sweet girl, no one will touch you. I'll shield you against a million of them, Kate.
Exeunt PETRUCHIO, KATHERINE, and GRUMIO
BAPTISTA
Nay, let them go, a couple of quiet ones.
BAPTISTA
No, let them go. What a calm, quiet couple!
GREMIO
Went they not quickly, I should die with laughing.
GREMIO
If they hadn't left so quickly, I would have died of laughing.
TRANIO
[as LUCENTIO] Of all mad matches never was the like.
TRANIO
[As LUCENTIO] Of all the craziest pairings, I've never seen one like this.
LUCENTIO
[as CAMBIO] Mistress, what’s your opinion of your sister?
LUCENTIO
[As CAMBIO] Mistress, what's your opinion of your sister?
BIANCA
That, being mad herself, she’s madly mated.
BIANCA
That, being mad herself, she has now married a madman.
GREMIO
I warrant him, Petruchio is Kated.
GREMIO
And I bet Petruchio will catch the Kate soon enough!
BAPTISTA
Neighbors and friends, though bride and bridegroom wants For to supply the places at the table, You know there wants no junkets at the feast. [To TRANIO] Lucentio, you shall supply the bridegroom’s place, And let Bianca take her sister’s room.
BAPTISTA
Neighbors and friends, though the seats for the bride and bridegroom will be empty at the table, you know there are no delicacies lacking at the feast itself.
[To TRANIO] Lucentio, you will take the bridegroom's place, and let Bianca take her sister's.
TRANIO
[as LUCENTIO] Shall sweet Bianca practice how to bride it?
TRANIO
[As LUCENTIO] Will sweet Bianca practice being a bride?
BAPTISTA
She shall, Lucentio. Come, gentlemen, let’s go.
BAPTISTA
She will, Lucentio. Come, gentlemen, let's go.
Exeunt
