Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret.: Chapter 14 Summary & Analysis

Later in the evening, Mom brushes out Margaret’s hair and smiles at her as they wait for Nancy’s father. Margaret feels like she and her parents are all in on some secret—though her parents don’t know Margaret’s secret. Fortunately, they don’t say Margaret looks sweet. Finally, Mr. Wheeler pulls up outside. He’s annoyed that the Four PTS’s insist on squeezing into the back. Janie got her hair cut without telling the other girls. The cut makes her look like an elf and, for a moment, Margaret considers getting the same cut. But then she decides she’s been growing her hair too long to chop it off.

Mrs. Fishbein opens the door when the girls arrive. Nancy introduces Margaret to Mrs. Fishbein in a different voice than usual, and Mrs. Fishbein sends the girls downstairs. The furniture in the house is modern. The furniture at Nancy’s house is colorful, while at Margaret’s house there isn’t much furniture—Mom is still picking stuff out. Most of the other kids are already downstairs. Laura looks lovely in a pink dress, and most of the boys are wearing sport jackets and ties. Philip Leroy is the first to take off his tie and jacket and soon, all the other boys copy him.

The girls stick to one side of the room and the boys stay on the other side. Soon, Mrs. Fishbein brings down sandwiches. Margaret, Janie, Nancy, and Gretchen choose a table as Mrs. Fishbein heads back upstairs. Before long, the boys start shooting mustard onto the ceiling with straws. When Mrs. Fishbein comes down next, she gives the kids a dirty look and tells them to behave. She says that the girls certainly haven’t done anything.

Then, after Mrs. Fishbein serves dessert and heads back upstairs, Freddy mocks Nancy for being so good. Nancy shouts at him and Freddy grabs her. Nancy spins away—but Freddy keeps ahold of her pocket and pulls it right out of her dress. Nancy screams and runs to tell Mrs. Fishbein. Mrs. Fishbein threatens to call everyone’s parents if they don’t straighten up and then leaves the kids alone again.

Norman suggests they play a game. He first suggests Guess Who, which is played by turning off the lights, lining up girls and boys on either side of the room, and then letting the boys try to guess which girl is who by touching them—only above the neck. Gretchen refuses and Margaret is glad; her cotton balls aren’t far below her neck. Norman suggests Spin the Bottle next and pulls out a green bottle. He spins first and kisses Janie on the cheek. Janie spins next and kisses Jay on the cheek. Margaret is pleased she’ll only have to kiss a boy on the cheek. Gretchen can barely bring herself to kiss Philip Leroy, and Philip kisses Laura.

Jay insists the game is silly; they should play Two Minutes in the Closet instead. They’ll each get a number and take turns calling numbers. Those two people will go into the small bathroom for two minutes and “well, you know.” Norman writes out numbers on small pieces of paper. The boys draw odd numbers and the girls draw even numbers. Margaret is number 12, and she’s excited. She wishes she’d practiced like Nancy—she doesn’t know what to do with a boy.

Norman goes first and calls for number 16. Gretchen leaps up. They go into the bathroom—but return a few seconds later. Norman insists that the rules only stipulate that you can’t stay any longer than two minutes, but it’s fine to come out before the time’s up. Gretchen ends up with Freddy, and then Freddy goes in with Laura. Everyone giggles. When Freddy and Laura come out of the bathroom, Laura and Freddy are both bright red—this seems funny for a girl like Laura, who already has experience with boys. Laura calls Philip’s number. When they return from the bathroom, Philip is smiling but Laura isn’t. Nancy gives Margaret a look, and Margaret is too busy studying Laura to hear Philip call her number.

Philip calls for number 12 again and Margaret stands up. In a trance, she walks to the bathroom. Philip follows her in, closes the door, and says hi. Margaret giggles and Philip notes that he can’t kiss her if she’s giggling; her mouth will be open then. Margaret stops laughing as Philip tells her to stand still. Then, Philip leans forward and kisses her quickly, twice. He leaves the bathroom and Margaret follows him out. She wants to call Philip’s number, but instead she calls number nine and gets Norman Fishbein. She asks him to kiss her quickly on the cheek, and he complies. Later, Nancy suggests that fate brought Margaret and Philip together. They discuss whether Philip is a good kisser and if they both still like him—they do.