Bud, Not Buddy: Chapter 19 Summary & Analysis

In realizing that Bud, an orphan, is his grandson, Herman also has to come to terms with the knowledge that his daughter has died. Herman isolates himself from the rest of the band to deal with his grief, suggesting that his daughter meant a lot to him but also raising the question of why he didn’t already know about her death or about Bud’s existence.

Bud relieves some of the horror of his mother’s death when he talks openly to Jimmy and Miss Thomas. Like the past times he’s told the story, Bud insists that she didn’t suffer, which continues to bring him solace.

Bud is surprised to find Herman in his room, though he tries to avoid another conflict, perhaps because he senses the man is in deep pain because of the revelations about his daughter.

After getting the picture of his mother, Bud notices that Herman is in deep pain. The once intimidating man continues to cry and convulse in Bud’s presence. This changes Bud’s perception of him and Bud realizes that Herman has feelings just like everyone.

Even though Bud is usually extremely mature for his age, in this moment he fails to grasp that Herman is grieving his late daughter. Instead, Bud wonders if Herman is upset because he is Herman’s grandson and wonders if being related to him is really that bad.

In this instance, Herman seems like the child while Bud is the wise adult consoling him, which is yet another reminder of how quickly Bud has had to grow up. Herman’s apology, coupled with Bud essentially reintroducing himself, suggests that the two are starting fresh in their relationship.

Miss Thomas and Jimmy examine the picture, cautiously at first, and are stunned by the picture’s depiction of Bud’s mother.

Jimmy again asks Bud if he’s absolutely certain the woman in the picture is his mother. It is not that he doesn’t want to believe Bud, it is just hard for him to swallow that the girl in the picture is dead. It is a revelatory moment for Bud as well, who realizes that the dead little girl’s room was his mother’s room. In a way, Bud has never been as close to his mother since she passed. He is physically living among the things she loved at his age.

Bud prepares himself to hear about his mother and grandfather’s volatile relationship. Although difficult, Bud does not shy away from the truth, demonstrating his maturity.

Miss Thomas lets Bud know that things were difficult between his mother and grandfather, which made his mother run away. It seems that Bud and his mother share more things in common than he had imagined.

Herman pushed his daughter too hard, which ultimately pushed her away. Though Bud doesn’t understand everything Miss Thomas says, he does understand how scary and domineering adults can be, especially when they think they know what’s best for a child. Herman’s intentions, however, came from a good place as he just wanted his daughter to have a better life.

Miss Thomas suggests that Bud’s mother ran away to become her own person. Perhaps that was why she instilled such a strong sense of self within Bud, to give her son something she didn’t have growing up.

Miss Thomas reminds Bud of how much his place within their household means to her. Miss Thomas believes Bud’s presence is Bud’s mother’s way of giving them good news after many years of silence.

Miss Thomas gives Bud a new picture of his mother that makes Bud feel like his mother is looking down from heaven, through the clouds, and giving Bud her blessing to take her place within the Calloway home.

Miss Thomas’s trick with the photo also makes Bud feel as if his mother still watches over him from the clouds, almost as his guardian angel.

Miss Thomas also asks Bud for help dealing with the news of his mother’s passing since the pain is still raw to her and Herman. While Bud feels as if he has gained a new family, to them it feels as if they have both gained and lost a new family member, which is a lot to process.

The shadow of Bud’s mother’s absence continues to live on within their household and the band’s shows. Even in her absence, Bud’s mother is a huge part of Herman’s life, just like she is a huge part of Bud’s life.

Miss Thomas wants Bud to know that his mother is as much a part of their family as she was a part of Bud’s family. Miss Thomas is asking Bud to be patient and mature for her and Herman as they grieve for his mother.

Bud does not reveal to the band that everyone is grieving for his mother, which is perhaps his attempt to be patient and mature like Miss Thomas asked.

Steady Eddie provides Bud with a new instrument, which makes all the previous sorrow and hurt disappear briefly from Bud’s mind. It gives Bud a chance to focus on how good it feels to belong to a family now, and it is also another indication that Eddie, who also plays the saxophone, intends to take Bud under his wing.

Steady Eddie reminds Bud to treat the instrument as if it is very valuable—just like a true musician. Again, Bud feels excited to take part in making music with his band family.

Bud, eager to prove himself yet again, decides he will impress them by learning the music as quickly as possible. This does impress Eddie, so he agrees to give Bud lessons soon.

Bud’s commitment to getting good at playing the saxophone in only three short weeks reveals his deep desire to make his band family proud of him.

Bud uncharacteristically avoids the opportunity to eavesdrop on Miss Thomas’ and Herman’s conversation. This shows that Bud is no longer as wary around adults. He has put his trust in his family, and he believes they mean the best for him. This signals that his volatile relationship with adults may finally be coming to an end.

Bud begins to “move in” to his mother’s room, further solidifying his place in the family and in the home. Since he has decided that this will be his permanent home, he no longer has to plan or prepare to run at a moment’s notice with all of his things. For that reason, he looks for permanent places for his belongings within the house. He even finds it in his heart to leave his flyers and rocks in Herman’s room, perhaps because it will show Herman that his daughter thought about him often as well.

Bud hangs the picture of his mother next to him on the wall so that she continues to be near him. Both of them, Bud and his mother, are right where they belong in the end: he is with the band, and she is with the horses she loved from childhood and the son she loved in adulthood. Moreover, Bud finally understands that he doesn’t need to carry his mother with him in a suitcase because she already exists within him—which no one can steal from him.

Bud, excited by all the rich possibilities of his new life, gets to work preparing for the day he will take the stage and make his family proud. For once, Bud’s future doesn’t feel bleak but laden with the promise of love, family, and adventure. He imagines this is what his mother must have meant about new doors in one’s life opening.

Having finally found a place where he belongs and is loved, Bud is excited for the future and “can’t wait” to see all of the doors that continue to open for him.