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Themes
Key
LitCharts assigns a color and icon to each theme in Darius the Great Is Not Okay, which you can use to track the themes throughout the work.
Friendship
Family
Persian Identity and Culture
Mental Health, Depression, and Connection
Bullying
Summary
Analysis
Darius knows lots of things without anyone having to say them. He knows he and Sohrab will be friends for life, and he knows Dad wishes Darius were more like him. Darius also knows that Laleh wasn’t an accident, as most people think: she was a “replacement” and an “upgrade.” He’s sure it was a relief for Dad to have a second chance at having a kid who isn’t disappointing. Darius doesn’t blame Laleh, but sometimes he wonders if he was the accident.
Note that Darius offers no evidence as to why he thinks Laleh was intended to replace him. This belief may reflect Darius’s own poor self-esteem rather than anything true about Mom and Dad’s motives in having a second child, planned or otherwise. Not asking for evidence for things like this also means that Darius presents his argument as infallible, and so he closes himself off from reevaluating his worldview.
Themes
That night at dinner, Darius learns that Babou doesn’t like Dad at all. He’s not sure why—maybe it’s because Dad is American, or because Mom stayed in the U.S., or because Zoroastrianism is patrilineal, and Mom therefore couldn’t pass it to Darius or Laleh. Dad is sitting next to Babou, and Babou says that Dad probably doesn’t like the fesenjoon since he’s American. For readers, Darius says fesenjoon is “a hard food to love,” as it looks like mud. However, it’s delicious, and Dad genuinely loves it. Babou then takes issue with Dad eating with a fork and knife rather than a fork and spoon. Babou begins speaking to Mom in Farsi, and Dad’s ears turn pink. It feels wrong to see Dad as embarrassed as Darius usually is.
Note that as Darius lists all the reasons why his grandfather seems to dislike his dad, he subtly acknowledges that Dad can’t exactly change any of these things (except, perhaps, his choice in eating utensils). So, Darius is seeing Babou pick on Dad in much the same way that Dad usually torments Darius—Darius can’t control his weight, his depression, or the fact that other kids bully him. Interestingly, though, Darius says only that it feels wrong to see Dad embarrassed like he usually is, not that it feels inappropriate for Babou to treat Dad in this way. This kind of behavior is, to some degree, normal for Darius.
Themes
Sohrab asks Darius to tell him about school in the U.S. Darius lists his classes and admits he’s not good at math (Darius knows that this is a disappointment for Dad, as it means Darius will never be an architect). He then admits that he doesn’t have many friends since he doesn’t fit in. As Darius talks, he glances at Dad, expecting him to say something disapproving. But Dad is engrossed in his fesenjoon. Sohrab’s smile fades as he asks if Darius doesn’t have friends because he’s Iranian, and he asks if Darius is the only Iranian at school. Darius says there’s one other girl, Javaneh Esfahani, who’s Iranian, but they’re just friends.
It’s a sign of how much Darius wants to please Dad (and believes he never will) that he can’t have this conversation with Sohrab without expecting Dad to say something. Darius treats the truth like something shameful and inappropriate thanks to how Dad has made him feel. Sohrab, however, picks up on the fact that it’s difficult for Darius to be one of two Iranian kids at school, perhaps since he suffers bullying for being part of a religious minority.
Themes
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When Darius says Javaneh’s grandparents are from Isfahan, Sohrab says that’s what her last means: “From Isfahan.” Babou perks up and says that Darius doesn’t know that already because Mom didn’t teach him Farsi. He accuses Mom of wanting Darius to be American like Dad, not Persian. They argue in Farsi and then Babou asks if Darius doesn’t want to learn Farsi. Darius wants to learn, but he can’t say so and make Mom feel guilty. Sohrab rescues everyone by asking if anyone wants tah dig, the crispy rice at the bottom of the pot. And later, before he leaves, he tells Darius that Mamou invited him to join the family for their trip to Persepolis tomorrow, but he won’t come if Darius doesn’t want him to. Darius asks him to come.
Sohrab doesn’t make Darius feel unintelligent for not knowing the translation of Javaneh’s last name, a sign that he’s a good friend who wants to help Darius, not tear him down. Babou, however, turns this into a crime that Mom has committed by not teaching Darius Farsi. The family dynamics get difficult for Darius to navigate here, as his loyalty is to Mom, who’s always supported him. But at the same time, it’s also true that he wishes she’d taught him Farsi. Darius is learning that he can adore Mom, but this doesn’t mean that she doesn’t have faults or has made mistakes.
Themes
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Darius goes in search of Babou’s computer so that maybe he and Dad can watch Star Trek. In the sunroom, where the TV is, Darius finds more family photos taped up. As Darius is studying the photos, Mom enters the room with two cups of tea. They’re the traditional Persian glass kind with no handle, and Darius can’t use them without burning his fingers. She says Star Trek probably won’t be possible with the internet censors and asks what Darius thinks of Yazd. He admits he didn’t expect it to be so modern. Then, Mom asks what Darius wants to do for his birthday. It’s April 2, the day before they leave Iran. She often says that since she went into labor on April Fools’ Day, Darius is her April Fools’ joke. Darius knows she has no idea how much that hurts him.
Seeing Mom so expertly handle the traditional Persian teacups is another difficult moment for Darius: does it make him less Persian if he can’t comfortably use a traditional Persian teacup? Then, it’s interesting that when it comes to Mom, Darius is fully aware that it’s possible for her to hurt his feelings even if she has no intention to do so. This raises the question of why Darius always assumes ill intent when Dad does things that make Darius feel bad. But also, note that Mom seemingly continues to make the joke because Darius doesn’t speak up, when there’s little or no evidence that she’d continue hurting Darius on purpose if he told her the truth. Darius’s unwillingness or inability to communicate, in other words, continues to make his life difficult.
Themes
Darius takes his teacup to the kitchen, where Babou asks him to explain the tea he brought for Mamou. Babou insists that’s not tea and demands to teach Darius how to make proper Persian tea. To Darius, this is almost as humiliating as having his penis compared to the Ayatollah. Babou won’t let Darius sniff the tea, and then he insists they stand in silence while it steeps for 10 minutes. Dad enters the kitchen to take his pills, and he brushes off Babou’s comments about him taking “these pills” too. He then asks Darius to bring him a cup to the living room so they can watch Star Trek, which he brought on his iPad. Darius is surprised, even more so when he gets to the living room to find Laleh on the couch with Dad. He didn’t expect to have to give up this special time with Dad.
Tea practices vary by culture and locale, and in bringing Mamou the tea from an artisanal Portland tea shop, Darius is trying to share a different type of tea with Mamou. Babou, however, is clearly very invested in making sure his grandson knows the “proper” way to make tea, erroneously assuming that because Darius is interested in other types of tea, he’s not properly educated in Persian tea practices. Babou also suggests again that taking medication for depression is inappropriate, though Dad sets an example by simply brushing Babou off. Dad’s behavior implies that it’s not worth fighting Babou; he’s too stuck in his ways. He and Darius should instead just do what they know they must do to stay healthy.
Themes
