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Intro
The story opens in the protagonist’s home, where she flushes with excitement at the sound of her answering machine—the caller is her 13-years-younger lover, Paul. In a quick jump to the next scene, the protagonist acquires contraceptive pills from the doctor’s office. She learns that increased appetite is a possible side-effect of the pills and reminisces on being 22 years old and not worrying about her weight. The doctor makes a comment about her age, hitting a nerve and indicating that age is an insecurity of the protagonist’s.
The protagonist tells her friends Helen and Sandy about Paul, revealing that he is 26 years old to her 39. After a pause, Helen and Sandy assuage her insecurities with their encouraging comments. The protagonist also exaggerates his career, saying that he is an academic while, in reality, he is still finishing his PhD.
The protagonist starts to put more time and effort into her appearance, wearing more makeup and dyeing her hair red. She attributes this drastic behavior to the madness brought on by love. She again remembers being 22 and reminds herself to stay on her guard to maintain her figure. The protagonist tells her friends about her and Paul’s first meeting: a happenstance encounter at a film screening, after which they went for drinks. Her friends gently tease her but listen with interest.
As her relationship with Paul progresses, so does the protagonist’s obsession with hiding her body. She avoids the bathroom mirror after a shower and insists on going to bed with Paul with the light off. She hopes that she will become more confident, and that this insecurity is just a phase, but it continues to spiral. A week into taking her contraceptives, the increased appetite side-effect rears its head. This causes her to become even more vigilant about policing her own body and habits, as she and Paul have a trip to the beach planned.
The protagonist worries that she has missed her chance to have children as she continues to take her contraceptives. She notices that her roots have gone dark and re-dyes her hair, and, in that process, notices her darker facial hair, another side-effect of the contraceptives. She tweezes the hair, resigning herself to more vigilance.
On her beach holiday with Paul, the protagonist envies his carelessness at sitting in the sun and eating fatty foods. Her insecurity grows and she reminds herself to keep her true age (nearly 40) and her desire for babies to herself.
After their trip, a glimpse at the mirror in the department store prompts the protagonist to schedule her first leg wax. She chats with the receptionist, learning that men also have their bodies waxed. She is shocked at the pain of the wax, and even more shocked to learn that some women get full-body Brazilian waxes in order to please their boyfriends. Her disgust at this reality, combined with her immense physical pain, causes her to leave the appointment halfway through. Later, in bed with Paul with her half-waxed legs, she confesses to him that she will be 40 in two weeks. With the lights off, she cannot see Paul’s reaction to this fact.
