Diary of a Wimpy Kid Quotes

I try to explain all this popularity stuff to Rowley (who is probably hovering around the 150 mark, by the way), but I think it just goes in one ear and out the other with him.

I have told Rowley at least a billion times that now we’re in middle school, you’re supposed to say “hang out,” not “play.” But no matter how many noogies I give him, he always forgets the next time. I’ve been trying to be a lot more careful about my image since I got to middle school. But having Rowley around is definitely not helping.

Mom made the chainsaw guy show us where the exit was, and that was the end of our haunted house experience right there. I guess it was a little embarrassing when Mom did that, but I’m willing to let it go this one time.

I figure if I bulk up now, it could actually come in handy down the road. The football unit is coming in the spring, and they split the teams up into shirts and skins. And I ALWAYS get put on skins. I think they do that to make all the out-of-shape kids feel ashamed of themselves.

I did my singing tryouts with a bunch of other boys whose moms made them come, too. I tried to sing as quietly as possible, but of course I got singled out, anyway. I have no idea what a “soprano” is, but from the way some of the girls were giggling, I knew it wasn’t a good thing.

Well, if one good thing came out of the play, it's that I don't have to worry about the “Bubby” nickname anymore. I saw Archie Kelly getting hassled in the hallway after fifth period today, so it looks like I can finally start to breathe a little easier.

When Mom and Dad saw my wish list that year, they got in a big fight over it. Dad said there was no way he was getting me a doll’s house, but Mom said it was healthy for me to “experiment” with whatever kind of toys I wanted to play with.

I WANTED to sign up for Home Economics 2, because I was pretty good at Home Ec 1. But being good at sewing does not exactly buy you popularity points at school.

In school today they had a general assembly and showed the movie “It’s Great to Be Me,” which they show us every year. The movie is all about how you should be happy with who you are and not change anything about yourself. To be honest with you, I think that’s a really dumb message to be telling kids, especially the ones at my school.

I sat at the end of the lunch table so there would be plenty of room for me to start signing autographs for my new fans. But nobody was coming over to tell me how great my comic was, and I started to get the feeling something was wrong.

I can’t believe Rowley went and backstabbed me like that. While I was sitting there getting chewed out by Mr. Winsky, I was thinking, I need to remember to give my friend a lecture about loyalty.

Ever since the worm incident, Rowley has been hanging out with Collin Lee every day after school. What really stinks is that Collin is supposed to be MY backup friend. These guys are acting totally ridiculous. Today, Rowley and Collin were wearing these matching T-shirts, and it made me just about want to vomit.

So here’s what I’m thinking: this school year has been kind of a bust, but if I can get voted as a Class Favorite, I’ll go out on a high note…Last night I was lying in bed, and it hit me: I should go for Class Clown. It’s not like I’m known for being real funny at school or anything, but if I can pull off one big prank before voting, that could do it.

If the truth ever came out about how the Cheese disappeared, Rowley would be finished. He’d have to move out of the state, and maybe even the country. That’s when I decided to speak up. I told everyone that I knew what happened to the Cheese. I said I was sick of it being on the court, and I just decided to get rid of it once and for all…if I threw away the Cheese, guess what that meant? It meant that I have the Cheese Touch.

Well, if Rowley appreciated what I did for him last week, he hasn’t said it. But we’ve started hanging out after school again, so I guess that means me and him are back to normal. I can honestly say that so far, having the Cheese Touch hasn’t been all that bad.