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Chapter 5
Themes
Key
LitCharts assigns a color and icon to each theme in Goodbye, Columbus, which you can use to track the themes throughout the work.
Relationships, Competition, and Power
Assimilation and Wealth
Self-Delusion and Fantasy vs. Self-Examination and Reality
Nostalgia vs. Progress
Summary
Analysis
The morning that Neil almost runs into Ron is supposed to be his last day at the Patimkins’; however, Brenda manages to negotiate for Neil to stay another week, through Labor Day, when Ron will be married. The day after, Brenda will return to school at Radcliffe—a thought that distresses Neil, as he is convinced that this will mean the end of their relationship.
Neil’s distress over the idea that Brenda and his relationship will end was reflected in his dream from the previous night, as he doesn’t want to give up the fantasy of his relationship with Brenda and he desperately clings to it.
Themes
Brenda goes with her family to pick up Harriet from the airport, while Neil calls Aunt Gladys to tell her he’s staying another week. She worries over the fact that he doesn’t have clean underwear, but he assures her that he’s washing it. She worries that by staying too long he will think that he’s “too good” for her and Uncle Max. Neil assures her that this isn’t true. Aunt Gladys tells him he has a letter from his mother, and he says that he’ll read it when he gets home.
Neil’s exchange with Aunt Gladys reinforces the idea that he is becoming assimilated into the Patimkin family—and, at the same time, becoming more distant from his own. The idea that he has become “too good” for her also illustrates how Neil is adjusting to the life of luxury that he is enjoying at the Patimkins, and that it pushes him further away from his family. This is even affirmed by the fact that Neil doesn’t want to go back to Newark even briefly to read a letter that his mother sent him.
Themes
Neil greets Carlota on his way out the door. Though she does not return his greeting, he thinks that he feels a kinship with her. Outside, Neil shoots baskets and then drives golf balls for a while, waiting for Brenda to return. With Harriet’s impending arrival, Neil starts to think about marriage, wishing he could marry Brenda but feeling worried that they have not talked about it. He wants to propose marriage, but he is worried that she might say no, or might say that she wants to wait.
Even after telling Aunt Gladys that she’s wrong to worry that Neil will never want to leave the Patimkins, his desire to marry Brenda is borne of a desire to become a permanent part of the fantasy he has been living in. His statement that he feels a kinship with Carlota reminds readers that he still feels of a lower status than the Patimkins, and marrying Brenda will affirm her commitment to him and enable him to feel that he belongs in his fantasy.
Themes
Brenda returns alone in her car, explaining that Harriet’s plane is late. Everyone else, she says, is going to have dinner at the airport. Neil then asks Brenda, hesitantly, if she would get a diaphragm from a doctor. She assures him that they’re safe and that she doesn’t need one. Neil says that if Brenda wanted something from him, she would make him do it immediately. He says he wants her to do it simply because he asked her to do it. Brenda says that Neil isn’t being reasonable and stalks away from him. She changes from a dress into shorts and a blouse and starts to hit golf balls.
Neil’s request for Brenda to get a diaphragm—a form of birth control that is usually only given to married women—is a symbol of commitment to him and a demonstration that he can make her do something simply because he asked. Yet at the same time, it gives her power over a part of her sexuality. Thus, Neil too plays into the competitions that Brenda sets up, hoping to win out over her own hesitancy.
Themes
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Neil interrupts Brenda, saying that he doesn’t want to fight with her. She agrees, then explains that she just doesn’t feel old enough for a diaphragm, and that she’d have to lie to the doctor to get one. Neil says that if she went to New York, they wouldn’t ask any questions. Brenda is skeptical of Neil knowing so much about it and worried that it is too dishonest and scandalous. Neil says that Brenda is selfish, and he implies that she doesn’t want to get a diaphragm because she wants to break up with him. Brenda sarcastically agrees, saying that that’s why she asked him to stay another week, or why she continues to sleep with him. She walks away, crying, and Neil doesn’t see her for the rest of the afternoon.
Here, Roth illustrates how these constant power struggles between Brenda and Neil have actively sown discontent between them. Neil’s insecurity that Brenda might break up with him can be connected to their game in the pool, which sparked insecurity that she would leave him alone. At the same time, his desire for her to get a diaphragm—which they do not strictly need—has created deep conflict between them that will continue through the rest of the book.
Themes
Harriet arrives at the Patimkin house. Neil notes that Harriet is “all surfaces,” and is thus perfect for Ron and the Patimkins. He also sees that Mrs. Patimkin likes Harriet a lot more than she likes Brenda. All evening, the Patimkins plan where she and Ron should live, what furniture they should buy, and how soon they should have a baby. Brenda is frustrated with Harriet calling Mrs. Patimkin “Mother” during the conversation and heads to bed early. Afterwards, as everyone attends to other things, Neil and Harriet are temporarily left at the table alone together.
Neil’s noting that Harriet is “all surfaces” provides another peek into the Patimkins’ concern with outward appearances and conforming to the American elite. They seem only to care that Harriet fits the image of what someone in their family should look like and not about her personality or values. This is even further confirmed by their planning Ron and Harriet’s life for them, ensuring that their plans conform to the kind of life that Mr. and Mrs. Patimkin have envisioned for them.
Themes
Neil and Harriet make inconsequential small talk about his job at the library, until Neil excuses himself and goes into Brenda’s room to talk. Knowing that Brenda is still angry, he says to forget about his suggestion, because it’s not worth it if this is how she feels. Brenda says Neil just doesn’t understand her side of the argument. Neil counters that Brenda is not angry about the diaphragm, but is instead angry about him. She dismisses this argument, saying that she can’t win with him. He assures her that she already has won, and he leaves her room.
Neil frames their sexual relationship—or at least their argument about the diaphragm—as a competition. He affirms that Brenda has “won” because she refuses to get a diaphragm for him. In this way, Neil believes that Brenda has the upper hand when it comes to making decisions about their sexual relationship.
Themes
The next morning, Brenda is in a better mood, and she kisses Neil when he comes downstairs. She tells him that she’s going to New York to go shopping for the wedding with Harriet. When he tells her to get him something, she balks and gets upset, thinking that he means a diaphragm. He assures her that he wasn’t even thinking about that.
Roth continues to demonstrate how this power struggle is creating conflict in their relationship, such that even casual interactions end up in arguments and frustration.
Themes
Neil spends the day trying to avoid Carlota and Mrs. Patimkin, but Mrs. Patimkin sits opposite him in their TV room, checking names off a list. He asks if he can help her, but she politely refuses, saying that it’s for Hadassah, a Jewish women’s volunteer organization. Mrs. Patimkin asks Neil if his mother is in Hadassah. He says in Newark she was, but that his parents are in Arizona now because of their asthma and he isn’t sure.
Roth again illustrates an important distinction in the Patimkins’ assimilation. Even though they outwardly try to assimilate, they still keep up more private Jewish practices, such as keeping kosher or belonging to service organizations like this one. Thus, their assimilation is more focused on appearance and being able to mix with the wealthy elite.
Themes
Mrs. Patimkin asks if Neil is interested in B’nai Brith, another Jewish service organization, explaining that Ron is going to join when he gets married. Neil jokes that he’ll wait until then, a joke which Mrs. Patimkin doesn’t appreciate. She asks him about his temple and whether he is orthodox or conservative, but Neil is unsure and says he’s “just Jewish.” Neil eventually affirms that he and his temple are both orthodox, even though he doesn’t really know. Mrs. Patimkin says she is orthodox and her husband is conservative, and that Brenda is “nothing.”
The fact that Neil isn’t very religious (saying he’s “just Jewish” instead of relating to a particular denomination of the religion) illustrates that his connection to his Jewishness is largely through his connection to his family, and not through his religion. Thus, by forgoing his family and by trying to assimilate into the Patimkins, he is in many ways making the same journey of assimilation as they did.
Themes
Just then, the phone rings. Mrs. Patimkin gets a message from Mr. Patimkin and says that she is too busy. She asks Neil if he would mind riding down to Newark to pick up some silver patterns from Mr. Patimkin’s work. He agrees, and she gives him the keys to her nice new car, which she tells him to use instead of taking his own.
Mrs. Patimkin’s sending Neil to run an errand for her continues to show that Neil isn’t fully a part of the family, and that in some ways he still feels like a servant. The fact that Mrs. Patimkin makes him take their car rather than his own is yet another indication of how they are more assimilated than he is. Mrs. Patimkin wants to represent their family with luxury cars that are symbolic of American industry and the American dream, rather than Neil’s older Plymouth.
Themes
Patimkin Kitchen and Sink, Neil relays, is in the heart of the African American section of Newark, which was once the Jewish section. Neil recounts how the previous generation of Jews had struggled, but their children had prospered in their place and moved to the edges of the city, and some had moved away entirely. Neil notes that now African Americans are making the same migration, and he wonders who might come after them.
Neil’s thoughts here suggest the broader appeal of focusing on progress rather than nostalgia. Yearning for the past is characteristic of people who do not have hopes for improving their station in the future. But when one is able to remain optimistic about the future, like the older generations of Jews, it enables them to progress and find a better station in life. It is notable, however, that the Jews are able to better assimilate and improve their station because of racial similarity to the wealthy white Americans, whereas African Americans do not have that same avenue for assimilation.
Themes
Neil pulls into Patimkin Kitchen and Sinks. Inside, he sees an office where Mr. Patimkin is shouting at Ron, who leaves to direct the men working in the warehouse and loading the trucks. Neil imagines asking Mr. Patimkin for permission to marry Brenda, and Mr. Patimkin making him direct the men in the factory or carry a sink. Neil worries about feeling inadequate as a result.
Just as Ron has been taken into the family business because of his impending marriage, Neil starts to incorporate joining Patimkin Kitchen and Sinks into his own dreams about the future. Even though he worries about being inadequate as a husband or son-in-law, Neil views this as a key way to assimilate into their family, although the nagging worry that he will always be a servant to them remains.
Themes
When Neil enters the office, Mr. Patimkin is on the phone and instructs Neil to sit down. Mr. Patimkin is negotiating with someone on the other end, and when he gets what he wants, he hangs up. He looks out to see how Ron is doing, and he observes that even though Ron went to four years of college, he can’t unload a truck properly. Neil says he probably couldn’t either. Mr. Patimkin comments that Neil could learn and that success comes through hard work. Neil agrees.
Like Mrs. Patimkin’s earlier assertion that Brenda is lazy, Mr. Patimkin’s belief that success comes through hard work complicates the idea of what progress really means. Roth hints that perhaps children who have become used to the success of their parents have actually taken a step backward, because they don’t have the same drive to run a business as Mr. Patimkin had.
Themes
Mr. Patimkin leaves the office and tells Ron to let everyone go to lunch, even though Ron had tried to put a plan in place of staggering lunches so someone was always working. Mr. Patimkin says to Neil that Ron has brains, but he’s too much of an idealist—that he needs to be a “gonif” (thief) to run the business. When he asks if Neil knows what that means, and Neil does, he says that his own children are “goyim.” Mr. Patimkin then tells Ron to get the silver patterns for Neil, and he comments that when he got married, he had forks and knives from “the five and ten,” but that his own kid “needs gold to eat off.” Neil notes that he says this with pride.
Roth again emphasizes a distinction between Neil and Brenda. Mr. Patimkin’s wealth has enabled them to assimilate to the wealthy and largely Protestant community that they live in, and therefore Brenda’s generation doesn’t know Yiddish words—which is why Mr. Patimkin calls them “goyim,” or the Yiddish word for non-Jews. Yet Mr. Patimkin’s pride at the fact that Ron needs gold to eat off at his wedding illustrates that he views this change not with dismay, but with an appreciation of the progress that he and his family have made in attaining a better future.
Themes
Later that afternoon, Neil drives to the mountains and watches children feed the deer, despite signs forbidding this. He observes the young white mothers watching the children who are as young as—or even younger than—he is. He thinks that they look immortal, knowing that their hair will always stay the color that they want, that their clothes and homes will always be fashionable. Still, he thinks, only Brenda shines in his mind. He wonders, briefly, if this is because of her money and comfort, but he chooses not to think too much about the source of his desire for her.
This episode emphasizes how Neil’s self-delusion is allowing him to idealize Brenda and maintain their relationship as a fantasy. He sees that for these other mothers, their beauty comes from their ability to maintain it through wealth. But as soon as he tries to understand why he loves Brenda, hinting that it might be for her wealth, he turns away from those thoughts and refuses to truly examine his feelings.
Themes
When Neil returns to the Patimkin house, Brenda is modeling her new dress for the wedding, and she is more beautiful than he has ever seen her. Harriet comments that Brenda ought to be the bride, and there is an uncomfortable silence. Afterward, Brenda affirms to Neil that she ought to be the bride, and Neil agrees. He kisses her, but she starts crying, and they go outside to talk about what’s bothering her.
The irony of this exchange is that it again displays the harm of Neil and Brenda’s power struggles. In this exchange, Neil and Brenda essentially agree that they should get married. Yet it is ruined by her dismay over what Roth immediately reveals is the fact that she called a clinic about a diaphragm.
Themes
Brenda tells Neil that she called the Margaret Sanger Clinic when she was in New York to get a diaphragm, and they asked if she was married. She said no and then she hung up, upset. Neil says that they can go to a doctor together. She asks if he would come to the office with her, but he says that if he were her husband, he wouldn’t come to the office because he’d be working. They argue further until Brenda walks away. When she comes back, he doesn’t say anything, and she finally implies that she is willing to go to a doctor in New York City.
Again, even though marriage is a much more important commitment than getting a diaphragm and Neil and Brenda have just touched on the possibility of getting married, Roth demonstrates how Neil and Brenda have become enveloped in a power struggle. An additional irony lies in the fact that if they were married, they would be able to get a diaphragm, but instead they are mired in a conflict over Neil’s desire to take the upper hand in their relationship.
Themes
