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Chapter 29
Themes
Key
LitCharts assigns a color and icon to each theme in It Ends with Us, which you can use to track the themes throughout the work.
Cycles of Abuse
Naked Truths
Good and Evil
Chosen Family
Summary
Analysis
Two weeks have passed since Lily told Allysa about her pregnancy. Lily reflects on how nice it is to be so close to her best friend, even if it is weird to live in the home that she and Ryle shared before everything fell to pieces. She sleeps in the guest room instead of their bedroom now. Lily still hasn’t told her mother about the baby, and she’s not sure if she can hide her stomach for another three weeks until Ryle returns. She wonders if she’ll just need to call him to tell him; that way, she can stop avoiding her mother.
The relief, encouragement, and joy that confiding in Allysa gave Lily convinces her it is time to fill her mother in on what’s going on in her life. Still, the small part of her that still feels loyal to Ryle—or at least doesn’t want to cut him out entirely—causes her to hesitate since he doesn’t know about the baby.
Themes
As Lily unlocks her door, someone pulls it open from the inside: it’s Ryle. Lily’s belly is obvious in her maternity shirt, so she can’t even try to hide it. She is lost in a flurry of conflicting emotions: fear, anger, longing. Ryle’s intense feelings are also apparent by the look on his face. Lily stays frozen waiting to see what he will do. Ryle can tell she’s afraid, so he points to Marshall, who is sitting on the couch. Ryle explains that he asked Marshall to be there so she would feel more comfortable. Lily decides it’s safe enough for her to come in.
Ryle’s unexpected arrival forces Lily to confront her issues earlier than she planned. Lily’s conflicted reaction to seeing Ryle again demonstrates the complex emotional state she’s been in the past few months, but her predominant feelings are uncertainty and fear. The presence of Marshall—a core member of Lily’s main support system—calms her nerves; she knows she can trust him to protect her.
Themes
As Ryle and Lily head toward the bedroom for privacy, Ryle asks Marshall to come if he hears any yelling. Lily tries to imagine what it must feel like to not have control over yourself. Her sympathy for Ryle vanishes when she remembers how Ryle’s violence is responsible for their current estrangement. In the bedroom, he asks to touch her stomach. She agrees. As he lays his hand on her belly, she realizes that you can’t simply stop feeling love for someone just because they hurt you. The love that existed before the hurt is intrinsically bound to the pain felt after.
Ryle also seems to understand that Marshall’s allegiance is to Lily, even though they’ve been friends since high school. In light of his abhorrent behavior, Ryle’s family has come together to surround and support Lily as she heals, even if it means distancing themselves from Ryle. The lingering love Lily feels for Ryle is especially present as they consider the baby that they made together in better times.
Themes
Ryle falls to his knees and embraces Lily’s stomach. He kisses it. Despite her anger, Lily appreciates the love that he so apparently feels for their child. As he holds her around the waist, she feels conflicted. She wants to scream at him and call the police as much as she wants to forgive him and care for the wounded child in him. A portion of her wants to have never met Ryle. He releases her, and they sit down on the bed together.
In Ryle’s affection for their unborn baby, Lily sees all the best parts of Ryle—the parts she can’t help but love. The coexistence of that kind of love with the hatred Ryle’s abuse has stirred in Lily is almost too much for her to bear, but she knows that these paradoxical emotions are neither right nor wrong; they both matter simply because they are how she feels.
Themes
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They agree to share naked truths. Ryle tells Lily he doesn’t know where to begin, so she suggests he apologize. Ryle assures her that she has no idea what the last two months have been like for him after attacking her. Lily is livid. She tells him that actually, he is the one with no clue how she has felt since he left. She screams that he didn’t have to fear for his life or get nauseous remembering what the person he loved did to him. Ryle tries to interrupt, but Lily keeps yelling. She acknowledges that she kept pieces of her past from him, but nothing she did excuses his behavior. Lily tells him that even if she did have an affair, he’d still have no excuse for hurting her.
Earlier in Ryle and Lily’s relationship, they used naked truths to come back to each other in times of conflict. What Lily hears in Ryle’s naked truths now, however, only confirms her anger. His apologies and explanations underscore his selfishness; he talks about his pain since he left but makes no effort to acknowledge the inexcusable pain he’s caused Lily. She can’t sympathize with him any longer.
Themes
Ryle continues to sit silently as Lily cries. He lies next to her on the bed. Eventually, he tells her that he knows there is nothing he can do to make it right. Ryle explains that he knew as soon as it happened that he’d lost her. He had planned to come there to say goodbye before taking the job in Minnesota, but he can’t do it now that he knows about the baby. Ryle tells Lily he loves her and begs her to let him be in his baby’s life. He asks for her help.
Even if Lily wants to harden her heart toward Ryle, her love for him makes her sympathize with him against all logic. Even if his love for her is selfish, hers is selfless; she feels his pain and desire almost as acutely as she feels her own. He longs to be good for her and the baby, and she wants to believe he can be, too.
Themes
They kiss, and Lily is angry to find how much she still wants him. When Ryle puts his hands in her hair, she freezes. Images from the night he attacked her swim in her head. Ryle realizes she is no longer responding. Staring into her eyes, he understands. He lets Lily go and heads for the door. Before he leaves, Lily tells him that she wishes he wasn’t the baby’s father. His expression as he walks away makes Lily feel as cruel as her father had been.
The love that Lily has for Ryle is so strong that it is almost enough to overcome the damage he’s caused. However, Lily’s visceral reaction to his touch shows that some things simply can’t be undone. Beyond her emotions and even her logic, her body alerts her to the brutal reality—she can’t accept him back. Though her comment about regretting Ryle being her child’s father is earnest, Lily’s lingering love still makes it impossible to hurt him without feeling pain herself.
Themes
