It Ends with Us Themes

It Ends with Us portrays abuse as cyclical, both individually and generationally. In its examination of the dating life and marriage of protagonist Lily and her partner, Ryle, the novel shows how a pattern of violence and forgiveness can repeat throughout a single relationship. For Lily and Ryle, this cycle begins with passionate feelings of love, belonging, and calm. However, Ryle often loses his temper, causing him to lash out violently and hurt Lily…

Ryle and Lily’s intimacy, connection, and passion in It Ends with Us is built upon an exchange of radical, uncensored truth. Honesty becomes a core value of Lily’s in adulthood because her early life was full of secrets and unacknowledged truths. Her mother chose to hide her father’s abusive behavior behind closed doors, implicating Lily in protecting him. As a teenager, Lily’s father’s actions and her mother’s inactions made her feel stuck in…

In It Ends with Us, the trauma of growing up in an abusive household deeply affects Lily’s perception of her worth and her sense of belonging. For this reason, she is overjoyed when Ryle’s family embraces her with open arms. In Ryle, Lily finds more than a husband: she finds a best friend in Allysa, Ryle’s supportive younger sister; a brother in Marshall, Allysa’s carefree husband; and loving parents in…