Life After Life: The Land of Begin Again, Apr 1945 Summary & Analysis

Ursula lives in a cellar in Berlin with Frieda, sheltered from the British and American bombs. They had almost been killed earlier that day and took shelter in the Zoo Station, but thousands of other people were crammed into that bunker. Ursula thinks often about death, and hopes for a swift, clean one with Frieda in her arms.

Ursula wonders if it is Teddy bombing her. She hopes it is—it would mean that he is alive. Two years earlier she had received a letter from Pamela informing her that Hugh had died in 1940 of a heart attack. Ursula had been exceptionally guilty for not coming home when she had the chance. She had tried once again: the day after Germany declared war on Poland, she had hastily packed a suitcase and hurried with Frieda to the train station, but all the borders were closed.

Jürgen had died in a raid in 1944. Ursula had been relived, but was ashamed of this reaction given how Frieda was so upset. Frieda is now ill, with terrible bouts of coughing. Sometimes they venture out of the cellar, to a bombed apartment building, to forage for anything useful. There is no food to be found, however; the day before they had stood in line for three hours for a loaf of bread that seemed to be made entirely of cement and plaster.

Ursula gives all she can to her daughter, but knows that Frieda would not survive without her. Ursula tries to scavenge for useful things in their own apartment—which had been bombed so that it now looked open like a dollhouse—so that she could buy some medicine for Frieda.

Ursula decides to move back in to the apartment, despite the fact that it is completely open. She worries about the Russians headed for Germany. Frieda is only eleven, but Ursula thinks that if even a tenth of the rumors are true about the Russians, Frieda’s age would not save her from them. They seem to move nearer every day, guns constantly roaring.

There is a rumor going around that Hitler has committed suicide. Ursula thinks about him “strutting and fretting his hour upon the stage,” and wonders to what avail he had lived. She thinks that once, life had mattered so much, and now, it is “the cheapest thing on offer.”

Frieda has a fever and chills. Ursula sees that there is no way she could survive an exodus west, as other people are attempting. Frieda says she’s had enough. Ursula hurries to the chemist, but he has no medicine, and she returns completely defeated. She misses Hugh, wishing that she could die in his arms.

When Ursula returns from the chemist, she finds Frieda slipping in and out of consciousness. Ursula soothes her with details from the scenery and life at Fox Corner—the flowers, the animals, the apples in the orchard, her family and siblings when they were young. She then gives Frieda a pill that she says she got from the chemist, telling her that it will help her sleep. She tells Frieda that she would do anything to protect her.

When Ursula is sure that Frieda is asleep, she places a little glass capsule in Frieda’s mouth and presses her jaws together. Ursula takes her own glass capsule and bites on it. She holds onto Frieda and welcomes the black bat. She thinks that “she [has] never chosen death over life before,” and she knows that “something had cracked and broken and the order of things had changed.”