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Chapter 3
Themes
Key
LitCharts assigns a color and icon to each theme in Milkman, which you can use to track the themes throughout the work.
Stalking and Surveillance
The Personal vs. the Political
Gossip and Rumors
Gender Norms
Summary
Analysis
Middle sister has many more encounters with the milkman over the coming weeks. He regularly appears wherever she goes and, even when he is not around, middle sister feels he is watching. Still, he does not physically touch her or threaten to harm her. However, he continues to make veiled threats relating to maybe-boyfriend and car bombs. Strangely, middle sister feels like the milkman knows her better than maybe-boyfriend at this point, which she finds unsettling. Despite the milkman’s threats, middle sister decides to continue seeing maybe-boyfriend.
Although it rightfully upsets middle sister, the milkman knows her better than anybody. Although much of his information is superficial, the milkman knows things that middle sister has not shared with her mother or maybe-boyfriend. If nothing else, the milkman knows the particulars of his involvement in middle sister’s life, which she has kept secret from everyone.
Themes
One day, middle sister asks maybe-boyfriend if he will stop driving his car. Maybe-boyfriend can only laugh—he works as a mechanic and, even if he didn’t, he would still drive his car anyway. Although maybe-boyfriend may have heard some of the gossip around town about middle sister and the milkman, the two of them have not discussed the subject at length. As such, maybe-boyfriend does not know about the milkman’s threats. Maybe-boyfriend assumes that middle sister is being paranoid because her brother-in-law died in a car bomb.
Middle sister worries that the milkman will follow through on his threats, but she cannot convince maybe-boyfriend to stop driving because she refuses to explain what is going on. Middle sister’s refusal to talk to maybe-boyfriend about the milkman perhaps derives from a fear that he will stop maybe-dating her out of jealousy or fear.
Themes
Middle sister also has to deal with the gossip about her and the milkman, which has continued to spread around town. People regularly approach her to ask her questions about her life. Although sometimes the questions are direct and other times not, middle sister always assumes that they want to get information out of her regarding her relationship with the milkman. She distrusts nearly everyone and never gives them what they want to know.
The constant threat of the milkman makes middle sister paranoid. She does not know who she can trust and as a result trusts no one. Although middle sister’s behavior might be understandable given the gossipy tendencies of her community, she is likely cutting off many people who are genuinely looking out for her wellbeing or just attempting to make conversation.
Themes
To combat her nosy community, middle sister affects a flat personality and simply replies “I don’t know” to every question someone asks her. She thinks this is a good strategy because it does not give the community anything to work with in terms of gossip. If anything, she wants them to come away with the impression that she is too empty inside—mentally and emotionally—to do something like carry on an affair with the milkman.
Again, middle sister thinks she is protecting herself, but in the process, she is alienating herself from everyone around her. If people did not take a negative view of her before, they certainly do now. Furthermore, she is allowing the milkman and the community’s gossip to dictate her behavior.
Themes
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However, the effect of middle sister’s act is that she starts to feel like the person she is pretending to be. Other than her anxiety about the milkman, she feels empty inside, in part because she does not feel like there is anyone she can fully trust and share her feelings with. In retrospect, middle sister realizes that some of the people who approached her during this time, may have wanted to help her. Unfortunately, she was too closed off to be able to accept their help.
Here, middle sister realizes her error, but it is already too late. Throughout the novel, she makes note of people who are considered pariahs in the community, and now she has turned herself into one, though she still does not fully recognize the full consequences of her recent behavior.
Themes
Additionally, middle sister cannot approach the police about her issue with the milkman. There are two police forces in her area: the state police and the renouncer police. She cannot approach the renouncer police because the milkman himself is a renouncer, and she feels it is unlikely that she will get anywhere. Even now, she can hardly explain the milkman’s wrongdoings to herself, and she thinks she is unlikely to find a sympathetic ear from the renouncers. However, approaching the state police would be even worse. Not only would she be talking to the enemy, but she would be doing so in the hopes of getting a renouncer in trouble.
Again, try though she might to avoid politics, politics dictate middle sister’s life and well-being. Unfortunately, she finds herself stuck in a system where neither of the two powers in control cares about her safety. Even if she decided to betray her community and go to the state police, there is little they could do to stop the ongoing situation with the milkman, even if they wanted to. As such, middle sister feels entirely isolated. She has no one in her life who she fully trusts and no higher institution she can call upon in her time of need.
Themes
Because middle sister cannot do anything about the milkman, her mental state quickly deteriorates. She has a difficult time getting to sleep at night and, when she does, the slightest sound wakes her up. She feels as though her house is making sounds to help protect her. However, she does not know what the house wants her to do once she is awake, as she feels helpless to stop the milkman’s transgressions. Additionally, although middle sister continues taking her French class, it no longer inspires her as it once did. She does not have the mental capacity to keep up with her studies and generally feels drained.
Here, middle sister’s house works as a metaphor for her loss of even the most basic of comforts. As a result of everything that has happened with the milkman, middle sister feels defeated and dehumanized, with no clear path forward. Also, middle sister’s disinterest in French class signals a similar lack of interest in the life lessons she once learned while attending French class.
Themes
Even worse is middle sister’s relationship with maybe-boyfriend. She continues to worry about car bombs and other renouncer-related acts of violence. However, because she does not tell maybe-boyfriend the full extent of what the milkman has said, he does not know that his life might be in danger. Even if he did, middle sister fears that he would not do anything about it.
At this point, middle sister’s refusal to tell maybe-boyfriend about the milkman feels highly irresponsible, as she seems to genuinely fear that his life is in danger. This is another passage that challenges her notion that it’s possible to stay out of politics—in not speaking about renouncers or the threats that the milkman has made against her, she potentially puts maybe-boyfriend’s life at risk. Of course, maybe-boyfriend’s own aversion to politics endangers his own life, as well.
Themes
To make matters worse, the renouncers have been bothering maybe-boyfriend about his supercharger. They pay an evening visit to his home dressed in Halloween masks and balaclavas to let him know that, if he decides to sell the supercharger, they expect to get a cut of the profits. Additionally, they warn maybe-boyfriend that he better not have the part of the car with the British flag on it in his home—otherwise, there will be consequences.
Here, the renouncers behave like common criminals, attempting to extort money from maybe-boyfriend, who has no interest in their political aims and little patience with their tactics. The Halloween masks hide the identities of the men, meaning it is difficult to know whether the milkman is among them.
Themes
Middle sister worries that her lies about the car and the flag will end up coming back to bite her. However, maybe-boyfriend remains unconcerned. He refuses to give into the renouncers and, anytime they come around, he plays games with them rather than giving them what they want. Because they are both stressed out by their respective situations, middle sister and maybe-boyfriend end up yelling at each other.
Although middle sister’s decision not to tell maybe-boyfriend about the milkman does put him in danger, he is not doing himself any favors, either. While it may be brave of maybe-boyfriend to stand up to the renouncers, his behavior will almost surely have consequences.
Themes
Maybe-boyfriend accuses middle sister of being ashamed of him and not wanting to touch him. Although middle sister has good explanations for the first charge, she cannot explain the second. Ever since the milkman came into her life, she feels she has transferred her negative feelings toward him onto maybe-boyfriend. Middle sister knows her behavior is not fair for maybe-boyfriend, but she cannot help how she feels. Meanwhile, middle sister is angry with maybe-boyfriend because he hardly seems to value his own life. Additionally, she accuses him of being too close with chef and insinuates that he does not act like enough of a man.
Maybe-boyfriend thinks middle sister is ashamed of him because she refuses to introduce him to her family or anyone else in her life. In truth, her reasons for keeping him at a distance are complicated in ways that middle sister herself doesn’t fully understand: is she looking out for maybe-boyfriend’s safety and doesn’t want the milkman to harm him? Is she looking out for herself, fearing a more public relationship with maybe-boyfriend will attract the attention of dangerous renouncers? Either way, the tension between maybe-boyfriend and middle sister shows how deeply politics seep into their relationship, despite both their efforts to resist being overtly political themselves.
Themes
Some unspecified amount of time later, middle sister meets with longest friend, a girl she has known since primary school. Longest friend is perhaps the person middle sister trusts the most, even though they do not talk much anymore. Middle sister knows that longest friend is well-informed about what is going on politically, though she would never openly advertise that information.
Though longest friend may have known middle sister for many years, they do not seem particularly close. Whether or not that is a recent development, middle sister does not say. However, this is the first time they have talked since the milkman situation first began. As with middle sister’s romantic relationship with maybe-boyfriend, her distant, awkward relationship with longest friend shows how politics impact her personal life, even as she tries to prevent this from happening.
Themes
Almost immediately, longest friend asks middle sister about what is going on between her and Milkman. Middle sister notices that longest friend calls her stalker “Milkman” instead of “the milkman,” which is a convention middle sister sticks with going forward. Middle sister tells longest friend everything about Milkman. When she is finished, she feels relieved to have to gotten everything off of her chest. She feels she can trust longest friend and is glad to have told her the truth.
This shift in name makes Milkman only one of two characters in the novel whose names are treated like normal proper nouns, complete with capital letters. Additionally, while middle sister may not speak to longest friend often, she evidently feels more comfortable with her than anyone else in her life, as she finally reveals everything that has gone on to another person.
Themes
However, longest friend is not as supportive as middle sister hoped she’d be. Longest friend begins questioning her about her behavior in public, stating outright that she brought Milkman’s behavior on herself. Middle sister asks longest friend what she means. In particular, longest friend tells her that she needs to stop reading while walking. Additionally, she asks middle sister to explain why she is walking around at night with severed cats’ heads.
Longest friend’s criticisms of middle sister are harsh but valuable. Although she does not take the friendliest approach, longest friend is attempting to provide middle sister with good advice when she informs middle sister that contrary to middle sister’s intention, her habit of reading while walking actually makes her stand out more (and therefore puts her at risk of receiving unwanted attention and harassment). Also, longest sister’s knowledge of the cat’s head means that either someone saw longest sister’s interaction with Milkman or Milkman spread the rumor.
Themes
Middle sister clarifies that she has only walked around with one cat’s head and explains her reason why. This is the first time someone has mentioned the cat’s head to her face, but now she recognizes that it is yet another bit of gossip the community has been holding over her head. Middle sister is hurt that longest friend is not more supportive and says so.
Although the novel deals with a serious subject matter, it is also darkly humorous, which is on display here, as middle sister clarifies how many cat’s heads she has been carrying around.
Themes
Longest friend insists that middle sister is constantly behaving abnormally in public. In addition to the walking while reading, she does not talk to people or appear friendly. Here, middle sister realizes that the behavior she thought was making her inconspicuous is actually what was drawing attention to herself. She promises longest friend that she will stop reading while walking. In fact, she has been considering giving up the habit for some time anyway because it has become impossible for her to focus with everything going on. However, she still plans to stay quiet when people ask her questions, though she does not say so to longest friend.
The more longest friend talks, the more middle sister realizes that although the community might treat her unfairly, she also has a distorted understanding of herself or at least of how other perceive her. While middle sister is willing to make some concessions, she refuses to fully alter her behavior to appease others, even if it would mean making her life easier. Again, whether middle sister wants to admit it or not, she often makes personal decisions that her community will inevitably regard as political.
Themes
Longest friend is glad middle sister is willing to make some compromises. She feels that middle sister is constantly forgetting her situation and her family’s past. Although middle sister thinks she has only been being surveilled since Milkman came around, longest friend reminds her that the state police always stopped her more than other people because of her connections. Middle sister does not understand longest friend’s insinuation, so longest friend reminds her that multiple members of her immediate family have been involved in paramilitary activities.
Although middle sister’s biases are on display throughout the novel, this is the first time someone else explicitly calls them out for the reader to see. Like all narrators, middle sister’s perspective is limited, and longest friend helps illuminate some of the aspects of her life that she has hidden away—namely her family’s involvement in paramilitary activities.
Themes
Eventually, longest friend and middle sister move on to different subjects of conversation. In particular, they discuss first brother-in-law, who is in trouble because he has been harassing nuns. First brother-in-law found a religious painting of a nun praying with an ecstatic look on her face. He brought it to some local nuns and asked them if they thought the nun in the painting was having an orgasm. It is unclear exactly why he did this except that he got some sort of sexual pleasure out of it. However, before he could finish his questioning, he was quickly and forcibly escorted out of the church.
Although first brother-in-law’s perverted behavior is known about throughout the community, he goes a step too far when he involves members of the church. While having affairs and asking sexually suggestive questions to minors is behavior people are willing to tolerate, disrespecting the church is too much. It is behavior that is likely to put him on the fringes of the community, which seems to consider his assault on the Catholic church as a symbolic assault on the community as a whole.
Themes
The renouncers in town heard about first brother-in-law’s behavior and plan to do something about it. Middle sister and longest friend discuss what they might do to him, though neither really knows. After their discussion of first brother-in-law, middle sister and longest friend end their night together, promising to speak again in the future. However, after that meeting, middle sister only sees longest friend three more times: four months later at longest friend’s wedding, one year after that at her husband’s funeral, and three months after that at her own funeral. Longest friend is buried next to her husband in a graveyard middle sister calls “the usual place.”
This sudden jump ahead in time lasts only for the last few sentences of the chapter, but it is striking in its revelations. The back-to-back deaths that occur imply that longest friend and her husband both died as a result of the Troubles, though the circumstances of their deaths are never disclosed. Meanwhile, the nickname for the graveyard (“the usual place”) is a reminder of the constant violence and death that plagues middle sister’s community.
Themes
