Big Jeff is one of the narrator’s classmates and Purcell’s cousin. Both he and Purcell are named Jeff Purcell, and so he’s nicknamed “Big Jeff” because he’s taller. Big Jeff is a vegetarian and a scientist. Once, he accidentally shoots a rocket into the school’s field house and sets it on fire. Later, Big Jeff submits a story called “The Day the Cows Came Home,” which is meant to be a critique of eating meat, to the competition to meet Ayn Rand. Rand selects the story, but it becomes clear that she interprets it as a criticism of collectivism and the welfare state instead of Big Jeff’s intended vegetarian allegory.