So You Want to Talk About Race Summary

Author Ijeoma Oluo begins So You Want to Talk about Race by saying that her experiences as a black woman in U.S. society have deeply affected her life. She thinks that racism is a pervasive problem in U.S. society, so she’s writing this book to help people have more productive conversations about racism. These conversations, she says, are inherently uncomfortable—both for privileged people and oppressed people—but she encourages people to embrace their discomfort for the ultimate goal of reducing racial inequality.

Oluo thinks that people who suggest that social justice efforts should focus on class (rather than race) are mistaken. Oluo argues that U.S. society was designed under the principle of racial oppression, beginning with the genocide of Native Americans and the enslavement of black people. Oluo thinks that those in power set up U.S. society to help them amass wealth and power by stealing land and labor from people of color. She thinks that the principle “you will get more because other people get less” still drives U.S. society, meaning it functions to keep that cycle—of taking from people of color to benefit rich, white men—in place. Oluo also says that oppression is like cancer in U.S. society: classism is one kind of cancer, and racism is another kind of cancer. Treating one won’t cure the other, so both need to be addressed.

Oluo argues that fighting racism isn’t about changing individual people’s minds—it’s about changing a system (which she describes as a “machine”) that encourages and reinforces racist behavior. She equates changing an individual’s mind to treating the nausea that cancer causes rather than treating the cancer—the system that creates racists—itself. Oluo acknowledges that many white people, including her own mother, often unintentionally say insensitive or hurtful things during conversations about race. To mitigate this, she advises privileged people to avoid assuming that they know what it’s like be black just because they know black people. She also advises them not to demand an education about race from people of color or to police their tone of voice, because this is effectively asking for emotional labor from people who are already at a disadvantage.

From here, Oluo discusses privilege and intersectionality. She argues that privilege is having a set of advantages in society because other people don’t. Oluo says that if she finds it easier to get a job because she’s a light-skinned black woman, she’s benefitting from a racist assumption among her employers that black women are less intelligent than white women. That same assumption keeps dark-skinned women away from opportunity, leaving more opportunities available for others. Oluo also thinks that privilege is intersectional. People can be privileged for many reasons—such as being able-bodied, male, or neurotypical. Oluo argues that people should use the extra power that their privilege gives them to try and reduce—or dismantle—the inequalities they benefit from. That, to Oluo, is what the phrase “check your privilege” means.

Expanding on the concept of intersectionality, Oluo explains (utilizing race theorist Kimberlé Crenshaw’s view) that social justice movements suffer when activists involved don’t examine their own privilege relative to others in their group. Women, for example, see themselves as oppressed compared to men, but they might overlook the ways in which they’re privileged relative to other women—who might also be oppressed by racism, ableism, transphobia, classism, and more. Thus, Oluo advocates that the fight for social justice has to be intersectional. Feminists, for example, should fight against all the barriers that women face, even if those barriers don’t target them personally.

Oluo moves on to discuss police brutality and affirmative action. She cites the death of Sandra Bland (who died in police custody after being stopped for a traffic violation) to explain why black Americans fear for their lives when they’re stopped by police. Oluo argues that the issue isn’t about a few racist cops. Rather, it’s about the systems in society that encourage racist beliefs (for example, a media and news cycle that consistently depicts black people as violent and dangerous) and that empowers police to act on those beliefs by permitting them to disproportionately abuse, incarcerate, and kill black people without facing consequences. The system, thus, is what needs to be changed. Oluo thinks that policies like affirmative action (which, for example, funds scholarships for people of color in educational contexts) do just that. Such programs, she argues, don’t try to give unfair advantages to people of color—they just try to mitigate the effects of a system that disproportionately marginalizes people of color.

Oluo expands on this idea when addressing the school-to-prison pipeline, which she argues is another effect of systemic racism. Oluo argues that systemic channels (like media representations depicting black people as violent “thugs”) subtly teach educators that black children are more prone to violence. This makes teachers more likely to interpret childhood rambunctiousness as aggressive when children of color act out, which makes them disproportionately suspend and expel children of color or label them with learning disabilities. These disciplinary actions stay on children’s records, decreasing their chances of getting college placements and increasing their likelihood of winding up in juvenile detention (and then jail) because they have a record of disobedience. It also teaches black and brown children that they will be punished for being too enthusiastic, loud, or rebellious, which steals their childhood joy.

Oluo’s then addresses racial slurs—specifically, the n-word. Oluo argues that this slur reminds people of color of a history of enslavement, lynching, and violence. Using such slurs thus triggers deep emotional trauma and forces people of color to manage the emotional labor of being hurt while trying to get through their everyday activities. The task of managing painful emotions is inherently taxing, and it takes energy away from other things people of color could be doing to enhance their lives, which marginalizes them further.

Oluo addresses cultural appropriation next. She defines cultural appropriation as the act of taking symbols, imagery, food, fashion, performance styles, or other cultural paraphernalia from an oppressed culture. Oluo lists people who wear Native American headdresses or bindis as fashion accessories, fusion restaurants run by white chefs, and white rappers as examples. Oluo argues that such practices increase racial inequality. It’s easier, she says, for white chefs selling Americanized fusion food to gain traction with white critics, which makes their restaurants more likely to succeed at the expense of authentic ethnic restaurants owned and run by people of color. She also notes that when white rappers become successful, it makes it harder for black artists whose rap sounds different in comparison to get record contracts. Oluo argues that if it’s easier for appropriated versions of cultural practices to become successful in the marketplace than authentic ethnic versions, that means the society “prefers its culture cloaked in whiteness.” It implies, Oluo argues, that people think whitewashed versions—of black music, for example—are safer and better for U.S. society, which reinforces white supremacy.

Oluo then tackles microaggressions like touching black people’s hair, asking a person of color where they’re “really” from, or commenting that somebody doesn’t “sound” black. Many people use microaggressions without meaning to. This, Oluo says, is a symptom of a society that normalizes racist behavior. Oluo says microaggressions are problematic because they happen so frequently—they’re like punches that hit somebody where they’re already bruised. Every time a person of color faces a microaggression, they have to manage negative emotions that wear them down and limit their ability to concentrate on what they need to do in the moment. Over time, these persistent microaggressions add up and take a toll on their abilities to succeed in life. When people get called out for using microaggressions, Oluo says, the best thing to do is acknowledge the pain caused and apologize. Even if the person didn’t mean to hurt a person of color, they still did. Oluo thinks that it’s important to acknowledge the hurt and learn from the experience for the future, rather than try to justify the microaggression because they meant well.

Oluo revisits the topic of schools to explain that young students of color today are angry because it’s increasingly obvious to them (in the era of Trump’s presidency) that the system is stacked against them. Oluo reminds her readers that anger is a natural response to the unnatural situation of racial oppression, and she encourages older people to support the youths who are pushing back against systems of authority that marginalize them. Oluo’s next chapter addresses the “model minority” myth, which falsely depicts Asian Americans as “good” or “successful” minorities. Oluo takes issue with this because statistics show that many Asian Americans—especially Bangladeshi and Hmong people and second-generation Chinese Americans—face substantive economic and educational barriers to opportunity, so it’s important to be intersectional and acknowledge their needs in the social justice agenda as well.

Finally, Oluo revisits the topic of managing difficult emotions in conversations about race and emphasizes that the goal of these conversations—difficult as they are—is to motivate action against systemic racism. Asking people of color to communicate their views about racism in a “nice” way is unjust, Oluo says. It effectively asks people of color to police the way they talk about racism so that it doesn’t upset privileged people, and that demands extra labor from people who are justified in being angry. White people also often react defensively when their racism is called out, because they’re uncomfortable facing their own racism. Oluo advises such people to take pause when this happens instead of lashing out in defense, which only hurts marginalized people even more.

Oluo closes by reminding her readers that the goal of all these uncomfortable conversations about race isn’t to help privileged people feel better by talking things out. Rather, the goal is to motivate action against a system that normalizes racist behavior. Oluo acknowledges that this is a difficult task, but it’s possible. Complacency about such issues, Oluo concludes, is racist because it lets an oppressive system keep running. So, she encourages people to act. For example, every time a person votes for a district attorney who’s more committed to combatting police corruption than their opponent, they’re taking a step to dismantle the systemic effects of a white supremacist system. Oluo concludes that there’s a long road ahead but that “we can do this, together.”