When Esther returns to the Boston suburbs after her time in New York City, she experiences an extreme state of depression, sparking a string of suicide attempts. At various points, Esther personifies her own body, as if it has a consciousness that is separate from that of her mind. When she attempts to drown herself at the beach, for example, Esther notes that:
I paddled my hands in the water and kicked my feet. The egg-shaped rock didn’t seem to be any nearer than it had been when Cal and I had looked at it from the shore. Then I saw it would be pointless to swim as far as the rock, because my body would take that excuse to climb out and lie in the sun, gathering strength to swim back. The only thing to do was to drown myself then and there.
Her goal is to swim out to an “egg-shaped rock,” a long and difficult swim that, she hopes, will lead to her death by drowning. However, she concludes that this plan will be “pointless” as her “body would take that excuse to climb out and lie in the sun, gathering strength to swim back.” Here, she uses personification, attributing to her own body the ability to make decisions. Her use of personification underscores the sense that her body itself rejects her suicidal ideations.