A Little Life

by

Hanya Yanagihara

Harold Stein is Jude’s law professor and later, his adoptive father. Harold immediately recognizes Jude’s brilliance and takes him under his wing. He and his wife Julia frequently have Jude over for dinner at their house in Cambridge. Harold has a hard time accepting Jude’s secrecy and repeatedly bugs him with questions about his parents and his past. It’s difficult for Harold to understand Jude’s guardedness when Harold repeatedly goes out of his way to show Jude how unconditionally he cares about him. Over the course of their friendship, Harold struggles to reconcile his longing to fix Jude with his gradual understanding that some of Jude’s wounds—emotional and physical—might be too deep to heal. Harold’s desire to help Jude stems, in part, from his failure to save his and his first wife, Liesl’s, biological son, Jacob, who died of a rare neurodegenerative disorder when he was only five years old. In Jude, Harold sees a second chance to love, support, and heal a son. After Willem’s death, though, Harold increasingly wonders whether it is actually inhumane for him to keep Jude alive when Jude has clearly decided his life is no longer worth living. After Jude’s death by suicide, Harold discovers a CD (of Jude’s singing) and letter that Jude slipped inside Harold’s bookcase after the adoption ceremony so many years ago. In the letter, Jude finally discloses all the details of his traumatic past. He also apologizes for “deceiv[ing]” Harold about who he really was. Harold feels grateful to finally have answers to the questions Jude would never answer while he was alive, but he feels deeply that sad that Jude died not knowing how loved, blameless, and worthy of redemption he was.

Harold Stein Quotes in A Little Life

The A Little Life quotes below are all either spoken by Harold Stein or refer to Harold Stein. For each quote, you can also see the other characters and themes related to it (each theme is indicated by its own dot and icon, like this one:
Trauma Theme Icon
).
Part 2: The Postman: Chapter 1 Quotes

“If I were a different kind of person, I might say that this whole incident is a metaphor for life in general: things get broken, and sometimes they get repaired, and in most cases, you realize that no matter what gets damaged, life rearranges itself to compensate for your loss, sometimes wonderfully.”

Related Characters: Harold Stein (speaker), Jude St. Francis, Jacob
Page Number: 152-153
Explanation and Analysis:
Part 2: The Postman: Chapter 2 Quotes

Fairness is for happy people, for people who have been lucky enough to have lived a life defined more by certainties than by ambiguities.

Related Characters: Harold Stein (speaker), Jude St. Francis, Willem Ragnarsson, Jean Baptiste “JB” Marion
Page Number: 190
Explanation and Analysis:
Part 2: The Postman: Chapter 3 Quotes

Every day the improbability of the situation seemed to grow larger and more vivid in his mind; every time he glimpsed the reflection of his ugly zombie’s hobble in the side of a building, he would feel sickened: Who, really, would ever want this? The idea that he could become someone else’s seemed increasingly ludicrous, and if Harold saw him just once more, how could he too not come to the same conclusion?

Related Characters: Jude St. Francis, Harold Stein, Julia , The Learys
Page Number: 213
Explanation and Analysis:
Part 4: The Axiom of Equality: Chapter 2 Quotes

I had meant what I told him that weekend: whatever he had done didn’t matter to me. I knew him. Who he had become was the person who mattered to me. I told him that who he was before made no difference to me. But of course, this was naïve: I adopted the person he was, but along with that came the person he had been, and I didn’t know who that person was. Later, I would regret that I hadn’t made it clearer to him that that person, whoever he was, was someone I wanted as well. Later, I would wonder, incessantly, what it would have been like for him if I had found him twenty years before I did, when he was a baby. Or if not twenty, then ten, or even five. Who would he have been, and who would I have been?

Related Characters: Harold Stein (speaker), Jude St. Francis, Willem Ragnarsson, Jean Baptiste “JB” Marion, Julia
Page Number: 397-398
Explanation and Analysis:
Part 4: The Axiom of Equality: Chapter 3 Quotes

He was careful never to say his name aloud, but sometimes he thought it, and no matter how old he got, no matter how many years had passed, there would appear Luke’s face, smiling, conjured in an instant. He thought of Luke when the two of them were falling in love, when he was being seduced and had been too much of a child, too naïve, too lonely and desperate for affection to know it. He was running to the greenhouse, he was opening the door, the heat and smell of flowers were surrounding him like a cape. It was the last time he had been so simply happy, the last time he had known such uncomplicated joy. “And here’s my beautiful boy!” Luke would cry. “Oh, Jude—I’m so happy to see you.”

Related Characters: Brother Luke (speaker), Jude St. Francis, Willem Ragnarsson, Harold Stein, Dr. Traylor
Page Number: 480
Explanation and Analysis:
Part 5: The Happy Years: Chapter 2 Quotes

“I’m not Hemming, Willem,” Jude hisses at him. “I’m not going to be the cripple you get to save for the one you couldn’t.”

Related Characters: Jude St. Francis (speaker), Willem Ragnarsson, Harold Stein, Andy Contractor, Hemming , Julia
Related Symbols: Jude’s Self-Harm, Houses, Apartments, and Cabins
Page Number: 599
Explanation and Analysis:
Part 5: The Happy Years: Chapter 3 Quotes

On these days, he succumbed to a sort of enchantment, a state in which his life seemed both unimprovable and, paradoxically, perfectly fixable: Of course Jude wouldn’t get worse. Of course he could be repaired. Of course Willem would be the person to repair him. Of course this was possible; of course this was probable. Days like this seemed to have no nights, and if there were no nights, there was no cutting, there was no sadness, there was nothing to dismay.

Related Characters: Jude St. Francis, Willem Ragnarsson, Malcolm Irvine, Harold Stein, Hemming , Julia
Related Symbols: Jude’s Self-Harm, Houses, Apartments, and Cabins, Jude’s Wheelchair
Page Number: 649
Explanation and Analysis:
Part 6: Dear Comrade: Chapter 1 Quotes

He hadn’t needed to catalog his life after all—Willem had been doing it for him all along. But why had Willem cared about him so much? Why had he wanted to spend so much time around him? He had never been able to understand this, and now he never will. I sometimes think I care more about your being alive than you do, he remembers Willem saying, and he takes a long, shuddering breath.

Related Characters: Willem Ragnarsson (speaker), Jude St. Francis, Harold Stein
Page Number: 731-732
Explanation and Analysis:
Part 6: Dear Comrade: Chapter 3 Quotes

Finally he lifts his head and sees Harold staring at him, sees that Harold is actually crying, silently, looking and looking at him. “Harold,” he says, although Andy is still talking, “release me. Release me from my promise to you. Don’t make me do this anymore. Don’t make me go on.”

Related Characters: Jude St. Francis (speaker), Willem Ragnarsson, Harold Stein, Andy Contractor
Related Symbols: Houses, Apartments, and Cabins
Page Number: 787
Explanation and Analysis:

“Jude,” Harold says to him, quietly. “My poor Jude. My poor sweetheart.” And with that, he starts to cry, for no one has ever called him sweetheart, not since Brother Luke. Sometimes Willem would try[..] and he would make him stop; the endearment was filthy to him […]. “My sweetheart,” Harold says again, and he wants him to stop; he wants him to never stop. “My baby.” And he cries and cries, […] for the shame and joy of finally getting to be a child, with all of a child’s whims and wants and insecurities, for the privilege of behaving badly and being forgiven, for the luxury of tendernesses, of fondnesses, of being served a meal and being made to eat it, for the ability, at last, at last, of believing a parent’s reassurances, of believing that to someone he is special despite all his mistakes and hatefulness, because of all his mistakes and hatefulness.

Related Characters: Harold Stein (speaker), Jude St. Francis, Willem Ragnarsson, Julia
Page Number: 792-793
Explanation and Analysis:
Part 7: Lispenard Street Quotes

When Jacob was a baby, I would find myself feeling more assured with each month he lived, as if the longer he stayed in this world, the more deeply he would become anchored to it[…]. It was a preposterous notion, of course, and it was proven wrong in the most horrible way. But I couldn’t stop thinking this: that life tethered life. And yet at some point in his life—after Caleb, if I had to date it—I had the sense that he was in a hot-air balloon, one that was staked to the earth with a long twisted rope, but each year the balloon strained and strained against its cords, […]. And down below, there was a knot of us trying to pull the balloon back to the ground, back to safety. And so I was always frightened for him, and I was always frightened of him, as well.

Related Characters: Harold Stein (speaker), Jude St. Francis, Willem Ragnarsson, Jean Baptiste “JB” Marion, Caleb Porter, Jacob
Page Number: 800
Explanation and Analysis:

“It’s such a beautiful house,” I said, as I always did, and as I always did, I hoped he was hearing me say that I was proud of him: for the house he built, and for the life he had built within it.

Related Characters: Harold Stein (speaker), Jude St. Francis, Willem Ragnarsson
Related Symbols: Houses, Apartments, and Cabins
Page Number: 806
Explanation and Analysis:
Get the entire A Little Life LitChart as a printable PDF.
A Little Life PDF

Harold Stein Quotes in A Little Life

The A Little Life quotes below are all either spoken by Harold Stein or refer to Harold Stein. For each quote, you can also see the other characters and themes related to it (each theme is indicated by its own dot and icon, like this one:
Trauma Theme Icon
).
Part 2: The Postman: Chapter 1 Quotes

“If I were a different kind of person, I might say that this whole incident is a metaphor for life in general: things get broken, and sometimes they get repaired, and in most cases, you realize that no matter what gets damaged, life rearranges itself to compensate for your loss, sometimes wonderfully.”

Related Characters: Harold Stein (speaker), Jude St. Francis, Jacob
Page Number: 152-153
Explanation and Analysis:
Part 2: The Postman: Chapter 2 Quotes

Fairness is for happy people, for people who have been lucky enough to have lived a life defined more by certainties than by ambiguities.

Related Characters: Harold Stein (speaker), Jude St. Francis, Willem Ragnarsson, Jean Baptiste “JB” Marion
Page Number: 190
Explanation and Analysis:
Part 2: The Postman: Chapter 3 Quotes

Every day the improbability of the situation seemed to grow larger and more vivid in his mind; every time he glimpsed the reflection of his ugly zombie’s hobble in the side of a building, he would feel sickened: Who, really, would ever want this? The idea that he could become someone else’s seemed increasingly ludicrous, and if Harold saw him just once more, how could he too not come to the same conclusion?

Related Characters: Jude St. Francis, Harold Stein, Julia , The Learys
Page Number: 213
Explanation and Analysis:
Part 4: The Axiom of Equality: Chapter 2 Quotes

I had meant what I told him that weekend: whatever he had done didn’t matter to me. I knew him. Who he had become was the person who mattered to me. I told him that who he was before made no difference to me. But of course, this was naïve: I adopted the person he was, but along with that came the person he had been, and I didn’t know who that person was. Later, I would regret that I hadn’t made it clearer to him that that person, whoever he was, was someone I wanted as well. Later, I would wonder, incessantly, what it would have been like for him if I had found him twenty years before I did, when he was a baby. Or if not twenty, then ten, or even five. Who would he have been, and who would I have been?

Related Characters: Harold Stein (speaker), Jude St. Francis, Willem Ragnarsson, Jean Baptiste “JB” Marion, Julia
Page Number: 397-398
Explanation and Analysis:
Part 4: The Axiom of Equality: Chapter 3 Quotes

He was careful never to say his name aloud, but sometimes he thought it, and no matter how old he got, no matter how many years had passed, there would appear Luke’s face, smiling, conjured in an instant. He thought of Luke when the two of them were falling in love, when he was being seduced and had been too much of a child, too naïve, too lonely and desperate for affection to know it. He was running to the greenhouse, he was opening the door, the heat and smell of flowers were surrounding him like a cape. It was the last time he had been so simply happy, the last time he had known such uncomplicated joy. “And here’s my beautiful boy!” Luke would cry. “Oh, Jude—I’m so happy to see you.”

Related Characters: Brother Luke (speaker), Jude St. Francis, Willem Ragnarsson, Harold Stein, Dr. Traylor
Page Number: 480
Explanation and Analysis:
Part 5: The Happy Years: Chapter 2 Quotes

“I’m not Hemming, Willem,” Jude hisses at him. “I’m not going to be the cripple you get to save for the one you couldn’t.”

Related Characters: Jude St. Francis (speaker), Willem Ragnarsson, Harold Stein, Andy Contractor, Hemming , Julia
Related Symbols: Jude’s Self-Harm, Houses, Apartments, and Cabins
Page Number: 599
Explanation and Analysis:
Part 5: The Happy Years: Chapter 3 Quotes

On these days, he succumbed to a sort of enchantment, a state in which his life seemed both unimprovable and, paradoxically, perfectly fixable: Of course Jude wouldn’t get worse. Of course he could be repaired. Of course Willem would be the person to repair him. Of course this was possible; of course this was probable. Days like this seemed to have no nights, and if there were no nights, there was no cutting, there was no sadness, there was nothing to dismay.

Related Characters: Jude St. Francis, Willem Ragnarsson, Malcolm Irvine, Harold Stein, Hemming , Julia
Related Symbols: Jude’s Self-Harm, Houses, Apartments, and Cabins, Jude’s Wheelchair
Page Number: 649
Explanation and Analysis:
Part 6: Dear Comrade: Chapter 1 Quotes

He hadn’t needed to catalog his life after all—Willem had been doing it for him all along. But why had Willem cared about him so much? Why had he wanted to spend so much time around him? He had never been able to understand this, and now he never will. I sometimes think I care more about your being alive than you do, he remembers Willem saying, and he takes a long, shuddering breath.

Related Characters: Willem Ragnarsson (speaker), Jude St. Francis, Harold Stein
Page Number: 731-732
Explanation and Analysis:
Part 6: Dear Comrade: Chapter 3 Quotes

Finally he lifts his head and sees Harold staring at him, sees that Harold is actually crying, silently, looking and looking at him. “Harold,” he says, although Andy is still talking, “release me. Release me from my promise to you. Don’t make me do this anymore. Don’t make me go on.”

Related Characters: Jude St. Francis (speaker), Willem Ragnarsson, Harold Stein, Andy Contractor
Related Symbols: Houses, Apartments, and Cabins
Page Number: 787
Explanation and Analysis:

“Jude,” Harold says to him, quietly. “My poor Jude. My poor sweetheart.” And with that, he starts to cry, for no one has ever called him sweetheart, not since Brother Luke. Sometimes Willem would try[..] and he would make him stop; the endearment was filthy to him […]. “My sweetheart,” Harold says again, and he wants him to stop; he wants him to never stop. “My baby.” And he cries and cries, […] for the shame and joy of finally getting to be a child, with all of a child’s whims and wants and insecurities, for the privilege of behaving badly and being forgiven, for the luxury of tendernesses, of fondnesses, of being served a meal and being made to eat it, for the ability, at last, at last, of believing a parent’s reassurances, of believing that to someone he is special despite all his mistakes and hatefulness, because of all his mistakes and hatefulness.

Related Characters: Harold Stein (speaker), Jude St. Francis, Willem Ragnarsson, Julia
Page Number: 792-793
Explanation and Analysis:
Part 7: Lispenard Street Quotes

When Jacob was a baby, I would find myself feeling more assured with each month he lived, as if the longer he stayed in this world, the more deeply he would become anchored to it[…]. It was a preposterous notion, of course, and it was proven wrong in the most horrible way. But I couldn’t stop thinking this: that life tethered life. And yet at some point in his life—after Caleb, if I had to date it—I had the sense that he was in a hot-air balloon, one that was staked to the earth with a long twisted rope, but each year the balloon strained and strained against its cords, […]. And down below, there was a knot of us trying to pull the balloon back to the ground, back to safety. And so I was always frightened for him, and I was always frightened of him, as well.

Related Characters: Harold Stein (speaker), Jude St. Francis, Willem Ragnarsson, Jean Baptiste “JB” Marion, Caleb Porter, Jacob
Page Number: 800
Explanation and Analysis:

“It’s such a beautiful house,” I said, as I always did, and as I always did, I hoped he was hearing me say that I was proud of him: for the house he built, and for the life he had built within it.

Related Characters: Harold Stein (speaker), Jude St. Francis, Willem Ragnarsson
Related Symbols: Houses, Apartments, and Cabins
Page Number: 806
Explanation and Analysis: