Patches, a stuffed panda, symbolizes Stella’s attachment to her older sister Abby, as well as Stella’s fixation on and guilt over Abby’s death. Abby gave Patches to Stella when Stella was six years old and a patient at Saint Grace’s hospital for the first time. Abby comforted and supported Stella through years of difficult treatments and surgeries, and Stella came to associate Patches with the comfort that Abby brought her. The novel takes place a year after Abby dies, and Stella is still processing her grief. Stella anguishes over the guilt of feeling that she should have been with Abby when she died, and she often wonders whether Abby was scared or in pain during her death. Stella also misses Abby, and when she feels anxious at the hospital Stella still clings to Patches as a reminder of the comfort Abby brought.
Stella has a near death experience when she falls into an ice-cold pond and passes out. When she falls through the ice, she accidentally lets go of Patches, and she swims deeper underwater to try to grab him before fainting. While unconscious, Stella has a vision of Abby. In the vision, Abby assures Stella that she can move on from Abby’s death, and that she wasn’t scared or in pain when she died. This experience finally frees Stella of her guilt and allows her to move on after Abby’s death. She doesn’t catch Patches, and he sinks to the bottom of the pond, symbolizing Stella’s separation from Abby. Overcoming this guilt and grief allows Stella to focus on her own needs and desires for the first time since Abby died.
Patches Quotes in Five Feet Apart
Lying back, I pick up the worn panda resting on my pillows and wrap my arms tightly around him. Patches, my sister, Abby, named him. And what a fitting name that became. The years of coming in and out of the hospital with me have certainly taken their toll on him.
Even before they knew me, they did their very best to help me feel like Saint Grace’s Hospital was my second home from the moment I got there. But, of everyone, it was Abby who really did that. She gave me three invaluable gifts that day.
I take a deep breath, letting out a relieved sigh that I’ve been holding for more than a year now. My chest heaves suddenly, and I begin to cough, water pouring out of my mouth.