I Am the Messenger: 4 of Clubs Summary & Analysis

Audrey asks Ed if he has received a new card and wonders why he looks so beat-up. He has come over to her house for help, but the coworker she was kissing before is in her house. The coworker asks who’s at the door and Audrey responds, “Just Ed.” Ed begins walking away. Audrey calls after him, asking him if he will be home later. He hurries away but falls and trips, all the while referring to himself as “Just Ed.” Audrey pursues him and promises him she will see him later. Ed thinks about how she looked so beautiful standing in her doorway (after obviously spending the night with the coworker) and he himself just looks like a mess.

Ed places the Ace of Clubs next to the Ace of Diamonds in his drawer. He imagines having all of the aces, and how this would be an excellent hand in any card game. But he knows this is not a game. Later, Audrey arrives at his house to talk about the cards. She asks Ed what he had to do at the addresses on the Ace of Diamonds. Ed tells her the truth about the old woman he read to, the beautiful girl he inspired, and the abusive man he had to kill. Audrey asks him if he actually killed someone and he snaps at her. Ed then feels regret for being angry at her and for inviting her into the painful, beautiful life he has been living since he received the first card.

Ed tells Audrey that he did not kill the abusive man, just scared him enough to convince him to leave town. Audrey asks if the man deserved what happened to him and Ed becomes outraged that he has to worry about such issues while all his other friends are just living their normal lives. Audrey reminds him that he was chosen, and that some of the missions on the card, like Sophie and Milla, were uplifting. And even if the mission with the abusive man was difficult, she argues, the difficulty was worth saving the man’s family. Ed admits that he agrees he just wishes he were more competent, so that the missions would be easier.

Ed keeps rambling until he accidently confesses that he also wishes Audrey were dating him and not their coworker. Audrey looks away, and they sit in silence until Audrey tells Ed he is her best friend. Ed feels like dying. They sit in silence and Ed is exhausted. He knows he has to rise above his own feelings, because the mission of the cards has just begun.