I Am the Messenger: Ace of Diamonds Summary & Analysis

Ed and everyone else in the bank can tell that the robber is hopelessly bad at committing robbery. What’s worse, according to Ed, is the fact that his friend Marv’s car is running out of time in a 15-minute parking spot. Lying facedown on the floor while the robber wields a gun, Ed and Marv discuss the parking ticket Marv is going to receive. Ed says the car is not even worth paying a ticket on, which infuriates Marv because he loves his rundown car. Ed and Marv argue over the car until the bank robber asks who is talking.

Angry and undeterred by the bank robber’s threats, Marv continues to argue with Ed about the car and eventually shouts at the robber to hurry up. Ed can tell that Marv is about to completely lose his temper. He looks over at his other friends, Ritchie, who is hiding under the bank’s children’s play table, and Audrey, who lying with her foot on Ed’s leg.

Ed feels sorry for the bank teller, whose nametag reads Misha, as the robber points the gun at her. As Marv and Ed continue to bicker, the bank robber asks, even angrier, who is still talking. Marv, as a joke, responds that Ed Kennedy is talking. Ed takes this opportunity to introduce himself to the reader as an average 19-year-old underaged cabdriver with no career prospects in his suburban town. He also wants the reader to know he is horrible at both sex and taxes.

The bank robber threatens to shoot Ed, who chastises Marv for calling attention to him. The bank robber yells at Ed to shut up, but Ed continues ranting against Marv for joking around at a time like this. The robber becomes fed up and storms over to where Ed, Marv, and Audrey are lying on the ground. The robber presses his gun into Ed’s face. Ed determines the robber must be angry at the world for making him so ugly.

The bank robber asks which one of the hostages is Ed, and Ed points at Marv. Marv, unafraid of the incompetent robber, realizes he recognizes the man. Ed, Audrey, and Ritchie all tell Marv to stop talking. The bank robber becomes more agitated at all the voices and asks Marv if he has a death wish. Marv argues that he only wishes for the robber to pay his parking ticket.

Suddenly, the robber sees the police arrive and his getaway car speed off. The robber responds by demanding Marv hand over his own car keys, and Marv complies. As the robber flees, he drops the gun at the bank entrance. The robber tries and fails many times to start Marv’s old car. For reasons he himself does not know, Ed picks up the robber’s gun and runs out to the car. He points the gun at the robber, who attempts to run away. Next thing Ed knows, he has fired the gun.

Ed hears sirens. The robber, uninjured but now caught, collapses. Ed feels sorry for the robber and the series of misfortunes which led him to being arrested, including holding up a bank filled with people as stupid as Ed and his friends and trying to start Marv’s horrible car. As the cops lead the robber away, Ed continues to antagonize Marv about his car, while Ed still holds the warm gun in his hand.

The cops take Ed and his friends to the police station for questioning. As they leave, a police officer tells Marv to get a new car, if he has the money. Marv responds that he has the money, but he just has other priorities. Later, Ed asks Marv what exactly those priorities are. Marv counters that Ed may be considered a hero by most people, but Marv is still mad about Ed shooting through his window.

As Ed and Marv leave the police station, they are swarmed by reporters wanting to interview Ed. Ed wonders if they will print headlines calling him a hero, but he knows the papers are more likely to call him a “deadbeat.” Ed, Marv, Audrey, and Ritchie walk back to the car, which now has a ticket on it. Marv tries to start the car but fails. In a few days, the first message will arrive, changing Ed’s life.